Every Final Fantasy Game (As a Cake)

Final Fantasy I: Betty Crocker White Cake with Frosting

If someone comes up to you and says “I would like a cake” and you present them with a 2 layer, vanilla, box mix cake, everyone will agree: “that is definitely a cake”.  If you really want to go all out, you can take 4 red icing bags for something special, or if you really want to make everyone question your sanity, just all white.  It’s a good base, if nothing too fancy, and even if it isn’t, someone put a lot of love and effort into making it for you.

Final Fantasy II: Bakery Cake with Fondant

Visually it definitely looks nicer than the first cake.  Some of the rough edges on the decoration have been smoothed out, but at the end of the day this is pretty much just a cake.

Final Fantasy III: Crepe Cake

It took a long time for this cake to make its way to America after being overseas for a while, and most people confuse it with Cake Pops to this day despite being completely different.  It does offer a lot of different layers, but somehow it feels like when it came over to America they made it way more complicated than it needed to be.  At least it was served on a nice handheld plate with some cute decorations.

Final Fantasy IV: 7 Up Pound Cake

This is when they really started to play around with what makes a cake a cake.  There were some pretty big differences, and each bakery has their own kind of spin on it.  Occasionally people will go back to eating one of these for nostalgia, but it sits pretty fondly in people's memories as something they enjoyed as a kid.

Final Fantasy V: Black Forest Cake

There is a lot going on with this cake, and many people argue about the best way to prepare it.  It kind of takes a lot of what was good with the first few cakes and flips them around - chocolate instead of vanilla, and this strange coconut frosting (but like, really, it does have some of the best frosting in the series). Most people like the variety of flavors you can experience, even if the actual ‘cake’ part of it isn’t the best.

Bonus: Final Fantasy Mystic Quest: Fruitcake

Everyone knows about this cake, but only weirdos say that they like it.  At least you don’t have to eat much of it to be polite.

Final Fantasy VI: Cake Pops

They are just so small you can’t help yourself from having like, fourteen of them (if you can find them all, one is inside of a Zone Eater).  Each one has its own flavor, and it’s great to be able to sample so many at one place.  Pop in a little bit of Doma Poison, then go to the Doom Train pop, and then ooh, look, it’s a fun little Opera!  The only downside is that sometimes you want to linger a bit more on one flavor because it really hasn’t fully developed on your palette, but most people agree that it’s really tasty.

Final Fantasy VII: Cupcakes

A certified classic restructuring of a cake.  Everyone has a great memory of a party with cupcakes, and it's easy to see why: so many different flavors and combinations that there pretty much has to be something for everyone.  From the Cloud cake to the sweet little Yuffie cake, they are well presented.  If you don’t want to stick with one flavor, we have a motorcycle cupcake, and (the one everyone forgets about) an RTS cupcake.  

Final Fantasy VIII: Carrot Cake

Why are there vegetables in this cake?  Plus they really messed with the frosting by putting cheese in it?  Why would you do that?  If you closed your eyes and somebody told you ‘get ready for a bite of cake’ you would be surprised.  But if you know beforehand how to enjoy this cake, it can be really, really tasty despite some pretty big differences to other cakes in the series.  The weird thing, though, is right at the end of the dessert they give you pickled ginger right at the end with almost no explanation?  

Plus, this one introduced some of the best pies, but we aren’t talking about that today.

Final Fantasy IX: Red Velvet Cake

After the carrot cake incident, it’s really nice to have a classic cake again!  A little bit more than throwing some food dye into a cake from a previous series, but somehow it has an identity of its own.  No one would blink twice if you said this was your favorite cake (even though, personally, I find that the last few bites are pretty unsatisfying).

This one made its own pies, but despite being pretty much the same as the ones offered with the Carrot Cake, everyone pretty much agrees they are worse.

Final Fantasy Tactics: Cheesecake

Hey, the cake guys came out with something new!  It looks like a cake, but that isn’t flour.  There’s also no frosting?  What the heck!  Yeah, sorry, if you look back at the first cake they made, this has some visual similarity, but it's pretty much a wildly different cake.  If it didn’t have ‘cake’ right there in the name, you might be confused and call it a different genre of dessert altogether.  Like a tea cake?  Trust me, though, if you want something a little bit different than cake that is still excellent, this is 100% the way to go!

Final Fantasy X: Pineapple Upside Down Cake

A bright and tropical cake that a lot of people really adore.  At any time you want you can swap out from pineapples to the cherries, which really helps to keep the experience fresh.  The combination of the sweetness of the fresh fruits with the slight bitterness of the caramelized brown sugar provides a great contrast that leaves most people thinking about this cake for a long time.   

Bonus: Final Fantasy 10-2: Angel Food Cake

“Yeah, that's a cake, I suppose, but after that previous cake…”  It isn’t really a traditional cake, but it's sweet, spongy, and has its own style.  Sometimes, you need a cake that isn’t so dense, plus there are a lot of ways you can dress this cake up.  Combine with some sweet fruits and you can get something that is very refreshing compared to how dense other cakes can be.

Final Fantasy XII: Ice Cream Cake

We all know that you like cake, but some people have found it to be a little dry.  So, hear me out, what if we smeared the whole thing with our Gambit flavored ice cream!  It's a fun little twist on a classic cake that really makes the ‘frosting’ aspect the star of the show while hiding most of the actual ‘cake’ part.  There’s a reason why people with a strong sweet tooth enjoy it.

Final Fantasy XIII: Napoleon

This looks absolutely incredible!  It sits in a fancy display case and you can tell that someone spent all morning making the different parts of it.  If you squint, it does kind of look like a cake, too, but something is off.  The ingredients and layers are there but maybe not in the way you would expect.  It’s decedent, self indulgent, and someone put a liquorice treat on top that pretty much everyone hates, but if you can get past that it's a pretty good dessert!  Plus, just look how good it looks!  I can't get over that.

...The Japanese love it, anyway.

Final Fantasy XV: Croquembouche

“Isn’t it beautiful?”
Yeah, but it is definitely not a cake”
“It was made by the same pastry chef who made all of our cakes!”
“Sure, but I was kind of expecting a cake…”
“A lot of people have been celebrating with different desserts lately!”
“Right, but you have always made cakes.  I wanted a cake.”
“At the end, you can take some of the cream puffs and throw them at your friends like you are in Dragon Ball?”

...“Sold.”

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