Music Games and their brood.

The first rhythm game I ever played was Parappa the Rappa, and ever since I played it, I have been craving rhythm in my gameplay. Most games have at least some rhythmic elements in their gameplay, You have to wait for the monster to attack Link's shield before you can properly time your attack. That's basically a rhythm challenge, but I'm still craving something more. Dance Dance Revolution pisses me off because it's so mindless and the colorful screens piss me off. Guitar Hero just plain pisses me off, I think it's the screaming fans at the end of a level, I feel like the people who made the game are just treating me like a total nutweasel who desires nothing in life more than to have a bunch of anonymous groupies screaming for my precious seed.
I liked Parappa the rappa because it had something called [u]'tude[/u], Parappa may not have had lot of personality, but he definitely had 'tude. It was fun to play that game because the levels had really great songs, and the characters were kind of insane. A gigantic chicken tells you how to make a cake, then seamlessly works into a commentary on the how money brings us down. That was so much better than being able to play Journey to a raving audience of virtual groupies.

Some recent rhythm games have had similar amounts of ;tude, but again, I feel like the designers were insulting my intelligence. Elite Beat Agents and Rhythm Heaven on the DS hve pretty good gameplay, but both also have deeply asinine contexts for the rhythm challenges. Though Elite Beat Agents had some moments of greatness, they didn't defeat the game's overall lameness.

So, what am I still craving? I'm craving rhythm challenges that are entirely part of the game's design, not more of these games which use semi-retarded explanations for why I'm flicking my DS wand to the beat of a fucking major scale. How about a horror rhythm game? Trust me it's not retarded, and it's because horror games already use limiting gameplay to cause tension and stress int he player. There's a very good reason that you can't move and shoot at the same time in the Early Resident Evil games. It makes you more vulnerable, which makes you feel less in control, and then you get scared. If there's one thing rhthm games do really well, it's causing physical tension for the player. When I'm on a hard section of a rhythm challenge, my muscles are tense, my breathing is short and I'm totally doubtful of my abilities to complete the task. If someone could take this sensation cause by a rhythm challenge and make it work in a horror game, I would play the crap out of that game.

I don't know the details, maybe some magic kazoo that makes malicious fanged naked grandmas bleed out of their eyes and die when you play a little tune to a beat. It would be like Ocarina of Time with a malicious old wrinkly lady.