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Metal Gear Solid 5 Legitimate Box Art

It's coming out you guys! Like Adele to a cake or Cookie Monster to Walter White, I have legitimate sources on the inside of major company's, such as Little Debbie,and Crack Cocaine, a subsidiary of major market seller "I'll Suck Yo Dick ...


Never forget

Also, I miss some of you guys but I have to save up money for this guy from Nigeria. I'm gonna be rich, bitch!


APPLE: Enemy of the FUTURE

Itís no wonder that oranges have been taking their aim off the nonsense Fruit Salad market when apple shows up to the tree front. I personally donít own a fruit grove but my brother does. After actually eating some apples myself, the reas...


Bungie and Activision Sitting in a Tree

I've seen a lot of hate and fear and misgivings being thrown around due to this "news" article that I skimmed through and read the first five or six comments of but then it reminded me of comments on CNN.com and I poked my eyes out and it...


Happy 4th, Dtoid

You're old now dtoid lol Wow. Four years old, bigger than I'd ever imagined, and still rolling. Congrats, Dtoid, you deserve it. Three years ago, if you'd told me that I'd still be contributing, hell, if you'd told me that I'd still be v...


No, You Listen

Bioshock 2. No controller support on PC. You tards say that PC gamers should stop whining and use KB+M. I'll tell you why you're a fuckshitcock. Ok, this is a GAME FOR A PC. ...wait, what was I bitching about again? Be sure to re...


The Best Games You Haven't Played This Year

With the end of the year fast approaching, and with all the good games to come out this year out, I thought I'd tell you about some great games that you may have missed, be it due to ignorance about the title, not going to "those" types of ...


Dear Diary, I've Met Someone Else

Dear Diary, It's been a long time since I've written in you, so I guess I should start back at the beginning. I've been in a dedicated relationship with a girl for a long time. I've been faithful to this girl, we'll call her "Sally" for ...


New, Exclusive Details Leak on Resident Evil 6!

So I was searching the internets this morning, and over at drudgereport I found a link to some exclusive, new Resident Evil 6 details. These are EXCLUSIVE and NEW details ABOUT the NEW and EXCLUSIVE game Resident Evil 6. They're so new, and...


A Little Late to the Bandwagon...

So, a few weeks ago, maybe less, probably not, I don't know my short term memory is destroyed, a fellow by the name of bludesign(dvddesign for those of you living in the past) came by to visit. Among NOT giving me some games for mah PS3, wh...


10 Things you probably don't care about bleeeeh(+1)

Alright, I'll bite since everyone else and their dog is doing it, even if I hate to reveal ANYTHING on the interwebs. Most of you older kids should know most of this stuff, but you young'uns might not. 1. I'm pretty much one of the most la...


Why Hate RE5 (360 "douchers")

***Not all people who post on Destructoid are mindless trolls that are a scourge to legitimate gaming fans. They post only to feed off of the "masses" or "target audience" for dumbed down or those who are just plain too stupid to realize th...


Picked Back Up Again: Overlord

I play too many games at once. It's a well known fact to me, and it's a problem because I end up not finishing any of them. For instance, right now I'm playing Persona 3:FES because I want to finish it before jumping into Persona 4. Durin...


A Time to Destroy: Self-Esteem

We've all been there. Hands gripping the controller tightly, beads of sweat running down your forehead, mouth contorted in a grimice of pain and confusion, while on the screen in front of you the "Game Over" panel is about to rear it's ug...


Left 4 Dead? Travesty of the Year Edition

Left 4 Dead game of the year? What the fuck Destructoid? How could you pass on such pretentious artsy fartsy games as Braid? I mean, it had watercolors. WATERCOLORS! Left 4 Dead doesn't even color it's water, much less have a painting fee...


About blehmanone of us since 8:11 PM on 08.01.2007

Real name: Mike

Amazing gif!

bleh, man
Lives in: Dallas, Tx
Occupation: Mayor of Metro City
Member of: Official Destructoid Beard Club
Consoles: 360, ds, snes, ps2
Hobbies: Games, reading, guitar, drinking

Because The GHost is teh awesome, my dtoid playing card:

Wanderingpixel is also awesome.

Current Games:

All of the things

Old Blogs:
Teh Randomtoid Linktoid (This is all my randomtoid blogs in one spot)
My Dtoid Thank You Note
One year w00t!
Avatar Chat
My Feelings On "Next-Gen"
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed
Lost: Via Domus
Community Discussion Time!
Gaming Journalism
Oh snap! Front paged!
Playing with Others: The Death of Split-Screen

My Hero:

My Left 4 Dead Dream Movie


Myspace profile: what the fuck is a myspace and when did this get here?

To e-mail malicious hatemail: [email protected]

To whomever drew my header: Awesome
Note: old header link here

For Wiisucks:
Hi! My name is Jack Klassen.! I'm a completely ordinary teenage boy from San Diego, California. My interests include soccer, surfing, writing poetry, and luge. I am homeschooled by my father who fought in the Korean War and was exposed to nerve gas. He is kind of crazy but I still love him. We got the Internet two years ago and I started making new friends on Yahoo! messenger. Surprisingly, most of these new friends were older men who wanted to have illegal, underage sex with me. Needless to say, I got a boner like a rocketship and cybersex quickly became my favorite thing in the entire world. Wait, did I say boner like a rocketship? I meant my vagina got as wet as Lake Titicaca. I started saving all of the hot chat sessions I was having with the Pakistanis, lesbians, child molesters and other monsters who were instant messaging me all day and all night, and I decided to put them up here on this website so you can see exactly how disgusting the entire human race is. Since then, I have been in a waterskiing accident that mangled my genitals beyond repair, been diagnosed with cerebral palsy, brain cancer, and Crohn's disease, learned to speak Urdu and French, covered my naked body in superglue, went to French lesbian camp, made a Hindu eat a roast beef sandwich out of my vagina, and ruined perfectly good cybersex for at least one hundred people. Use the menu above to find out more about me and start reading my sexy adventures,

Also, I make people from Pheonix Wright cry:

Also, also, sparkle:

Also, also, also, jiggles:

Also, also, also, also, Trent!

Alsox5, kitteh:

Also, X-mas Shake(a.k.a. itemforty is teh sex)