HELLO DEAREST FELLOW READERS. My name is Zombie Orwell. You may know me from such legendary Cblogs as Help I Can't Find My Jar Of Pickles and I Somehow Have The Ability To Give 34 Faps. Well, I'm back again sort of like Eminem except I didn...

There's a lot of discussion about Shenmue 3 and Kickstarter lately, but there is only one correct opinion. So shut the fuck up for a minute and learn something, you asshole. You’re skeptical about Shenmue 3. You didn’t pla...

I'm stepping out of character for a second. Anyone who doesn't like it is a fat, one-armed comedian. Also an idiot. There's a battle raging right on the internet right now. Wait, I mean there are a hundred million battles raging on the...

Dearest filthy perverts, please sit down in a chair. Prepare your cerebellums for maximum Orwellian exposure and tactical informations. We here at Dtoid have lost many comrades. A lesser writer would say we've lost many zomrades, but I am n...

HELLOO AND WELCOME to another exciting and arousing edition of the zombie who is Orwell (who is me)'s prescient and Orwellian series which is Orwellianly called How Stoically Accurate Is Massive FX? It's all about the T&A here at Z...

I am white anglo boy of 21 years or maybe more or maybe less but I never go to place where people have real problem and although I will have degree in some science topic that will pay lots and keepme comfortable enough to never have ac...

We all love Gatsby, right? The prose is damn near perfect. The end of Chapter One sends shivers crawling around your temples. And that end; boats against the current and shit. Good shit. Fitzgerald was a god. But Game of Thrones walke...

Why hello I did not see you come in. I was too busy being both seductive and terrifying. You see, I am the terrorist who also is an amazing pick up artist. That is highly cool and unique. Anywho, let's get down to brass taxes. Dis righ...

Hello Dtoid. The charming zombie character I created is going to shut up for a minute because I need to spill some real talk. Some hot fire. Some mad education. I feel confident saying most of you fit in one or more of the following ca...

Yes, yes. Lots of scandal. So many SadBoners.   In other news, here's a comedy: That picture is more important than your shitty scandal-of-the-week.   Also that one.     Your leader, Zombie Orwell

Hey Dtoid. Let's face it: this website is obviously run by Illuminati Bilderberg New World Order Knights Templar Masons. I mean, c'mon; pretty obvious, right? Niero killed JFK by transforming himself into several bullets. What a maniac! We...

This is where I introduce the blog. Hello everybody. This is a special blog made spontaneously for the Dzord. Lately there has been a lot of sadness and angst and hostility and other words on my favorite website. I'm not gonna take anyon...

My transcriptionist has completed work on Episode 1 of Kilonova Complex (available on Kobo and Amazon).� It's serial fiction in the sci fi (meaning Science Fience) genre. There's a description in the comments section below. Episode 2 will...

Destructoid, you've been very naughty. How dare you. You offend me. JUST KIDDING!!! Haha. I like irreverent jokes designed for laughter. It is funny. Here is more funny: Eminem. The humanist rapper has released a new group of 1s and 0s ...

Coda Let us rest not firmly upon the mortal coil, for such be the shattering remains of decadence. Instead, let us part in somber reflection. We raised the stakes and razed the cities. My love, I am left with naught but weary eyes...

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Jim's glinty, glinty eyes surveyed the Valley of G...

Hey Dtoid. Right now I don't have any Zombie Orwell in me. This is the guy behind the voice. What I'm gonna do goes against the unwritten rules of the character I've created, but I've reached an interesting and terrifying and exhilarating p...

Give me questions while I ingest "foodstuffs" in preparation for podcasting. BTW, have you followed me on Twitter and checked my wordpress site? If not, I will kill you from the tree outside your bedroom window. Do these things in rememb...

NotToid records right NOW. Do questions.

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Narrator X � Things recede and I shall die. ON BOARD THE DE...

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2:DixonDixon Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Jim woke up shivering. He was in a dark room lying on a hard...

The time has come for you to insert questions into my comments section. And to post pictures of drunk people. Do this now. Your leader, Zombie Orwell

Dearest horrible awful filthies, Tonight I will engage in furtive attempts at "pod casting" with two well known Dtoiders. You may guess their names if you wish. Barring any technical difficulties, I would like to include some of your repr...

Ohai Dtoid. It's me. The zombie who is et cetera. You might be asking yourself a question such as: Hey, self... Zombie Orwell is great. Well, that's technically not a question, you filthy pervert. But, for the fullness of time, let us mov...

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 POLYGONAL GAMING HQ � A BILLION MILES ABOVE L.A. All the lights were off at the Po...

My last post was taken as an idle threat by the powers that be. It was not an idle threat. Cities WILL burn. Millions WILL die. But all of these horrors CAN be avoided if you DO WHAT I SAY Give me Podtoid within 24 hours or a...

Podtoid is dead. It has been dead for several weeks. And its corpse has been flogged and quartered by some podcast called the Dismayed Jackals, hosted by a defector and two moles planted in Dtoid and trying to destroy us. Podtoid must come ...

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 HAMZA'S APARTMENT - CHICAGO The door was open. Eye of the storm flashed through Dale's mind. ...

Dearest dearest ridiculous people, You already know everything about me. You know where I live, you know my status as a post-deceased citizen, you know I'm the most Orwellian being ever to grace this lovely website, you know that The Devas...

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 12 Dale threw himself at the glass in Niero's bedroom window. It shattered. He land...