From the opening moments of DOOM 3, one thing is clear: Half-Life came out. The era of (cinematic) opening sequences is at its fullest tilt, and in this style, DOOM 3 doesn't open with you stepping out of a room and immediately being a...

So, I took a detour from my DOOM-a-thon to check out a little game called QUAKE that some of you recommended. An FPS from the minds behind DOOM in full 3D where you can actually look up? Given that DOOM 2 had pushed the game's auto-aim...

It only took them 63 attempts, but somehow the fine folks at id finally figured out how to design levels! It's crazy walking into DOOM 64 and seeing densely packed, thoughtfully laid-out designs that make traversal a sinch and explorat...

Point and click... my ass! I'm nothing but a cheap dumb fool constantly getting tricked to the edge of his life. I don't want to say the world is out to get me, but I'll go ahead and say that in the next paragraph anyway. And it's all...

He-a Releases a-us of Our a-Insecurities! I don't mean to be shocking or offensive, but Mario is white. You might not have considered it before. Maybe you've been staring it in the face for decades now but have been too afraid to admi...

Since January is coming to a close, and February is riding in on a wave of hot and spicey Oreos, my mind can't help but turn to love. Yes, even your boy VaddyZ has been clasped in the grips of it. I am a player of many shades. I was du...

Hey, now. Look at me. I’m a hardcore gamer. I spent ten minutes tapping my phone on my way to work, and I beat an entire video game. Which entire video game? you might ask. The answer is so simple it might astound you: It was som...

In Second Life you can fly around. When you do it, you’re like, “Oh, shit. I’m flying,” and it’s kind of cool for a minute. And then that’s it. You’ve flown. You’ve done the best thing yo...

This morning, I rode the bus to work listening to teenagers shouting about touching dicks with half an elderly Mexican woman clutching a sack of potatoes in my lap. I tried not to get a boner, tried not to kill myself, tried to focus o...

NOTE: It would be best if you went into this game like an uncle on Christmas Eve, raw and unexpected. I'm going to spoil some stuff. The game is $2.50 on Google Play. You'll thank me. But if you feel you need more convincing than my so...

I tried to drink myself too sick to come to work last night. It's a game I play with myself some Wednesday nights when I'm feeling depressed, frustrated, or annoyed with my job. I mean, I could just text that I don't feel well to my bo...

NOTE: Most of everything in here relates specifically to US copyright laws. I'm also not a lawyer. Also, I'm maybe not even a human being. People love to talk about what is and isn't copyright infringement on the internet. With little ...

Here I am at work again, doing so little, feeling so bored, feeling so alone, so unloved. No one's touching me. I want you guys to touch me. But I know to do that, I have to touch you first. So, let me look at you. Let me breathe you i...

I first met No Scope Joe in a Denny's at the Ohio boarder late one night. I was just leaving and noticed this seething, bald monster of a man shouting down a waitress. "NO. NO. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND WHO I AM. WHO AM I? WHO AM I? SAY MY ...

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (TLoZBotW) is a game I haven't played yet. I will be soon, and I hear great things--and I also hear the game is pretty good, which means it's a fire in a dumpster where stray kittens were feeding...

I'm bored again, and so I'm back! Very little work and a tornado warning that put half the staff away means no prying eyes for my day of Destructoid browsing and doodling. Here we go again! I didn't realize that it was Ash Wednesday to...

Hey, guys.Something amazing happened today.I got really bored. So bored, the most bored. It's the day before a three day weekend, and my boss isn't here, and we have barely any work to do, anyway, and I really like to doodle on post-it...

Look everybody, I love titties. You show me a nipple or two (or three), and I'm going to party in my pants like Prince's reanimated corpse thinks it's Nineteen-ninety-nine. I'm known in some circles as Vadicta the tittie fiend. Some wo...

You know, there are a lot of dicks in an art museum. Stroll on in, look around, and you're going to see some cock. And these cocks are going to come at you in different ways. Some will be paintings of dick; others will be sculptures of...

So, sometimes someone tells you that a game has more polygons than it really does. Sometimes, a guy tells you and his bosses that he totally didn't spend his budget on a different game. Sometimes, a developer tells you that you can pl...

So, Nintendo made a console, and they're going to announce it soon--like six months before the thing ships--becasue that's how launching a major piece of hardware works in this business, now, I guess. Whatever. That just gives us more ...