My little brother, Jonah, is obsessed with creating video games. But he's also incredibly lazy (and we're not talking fat-ass lazy, just...I-hate-our-generation-lazy). So what does he do? Not learn a programing language like a normal fuckin...

Resizing stolen images is for pussies. I'm talking to my hero, dude-who-I-really-don't-care-about. He runs the armory at UNATCO HQ and is telling me to stop murdering terrorists. "You need to learn the non-lethal approach. No ammo for you...

My girlfriend is from Portland, where the homeless pour in from the sewers and the Goodwill store is larger than Walmart. That's an exaggeration of course, Portland doesn't have a homeless problem. In these Goodwill stores, people can find ...

Who can live in the modern world without catching their share of them? When I was a wee lad, my dad bought me a CD called Land of the Loops. These were the glory days when a child had no self-restraint nor sense of embarrassment. There wa...

My life had just stabilized in the few months. With some miracle use of Craig's List, I found a wonderful girlfriend who gets my humor and isn't afraid to speak her mind. I can tell stupid dirty jokes and we can poke fun at each other, w...

EDIT: By some humongous stroke of WIN, DimmuJed gets the game with "Brett Neal Nelson"...which is spot on! The contest was won a mere 11 hours after posting it at 4am (my time). Give DimmuJed your congrats and high fives! And woo for the su...

I think I'll publish an entry every two days, this way I can get a backlog so I still have stuff to publish when I run out of ideas. Who am I? I am Nicholas Nelson and my alias, "Myoga" came from Middle School. My first crush gave it to me...

... as Occam's Electric Toothbrush has claimed, and it is an intro post of sorts. I don't expect people to actually read this, I barely expected people to read that last two journals but the C-Blog and D'Toid have proven to me that people r...

Ah, Destructoid. How I enjoy writing to thee. Thine eyes are like soulless orbs, impious thoughts you provoke in me. And yet, so sadly, you are a broken medium, making a mistake recost me much tedium. almost featureless and most filled...

Wow. I read an article, hate the article and have to create an account to write my hate filled comment. The comment box says, "You sure you don't mean to write a journal post?" and I'm like, "Sure, whatever." So I just copy/paste that shit ...

A comment I typed to my first and only viewing of Jimquisition. "Oh my god, I hate Jim Sterling. Not because he doesn't bring up a good point but just his personality is the injured-superior-gamer-nerd-with-no-regard-to-anything-but-his-ow...