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The Fifth Dimension

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Spoiler Warning: There Will Be No Real Deathly Hallows Spoilers In This Post


My computer is b0rked for the time being, which is why I haven't blogged in a while. Okay, so I'm also really lazy, but the lack of the PC is also a major factor as well as a convenient excuse. The upside is I've had a lot more free time to play games (yet spend it all playing F-Zero X and Alien Crush). The downside is I can only feed my DToid addiction while I'm at work. Hopefully it will get fixed sometime this week, assuming I can scavenge up the parts instead of having to actually order (and therefore pay for) something.

The girl went to a Harry Potter midnight release party at Barnes & Nobles last night to pick up her copy of Harry Potter and the Wondrous Cash Cow. I'm a fan of the books (and sort of a fan of the movies), but I can't hold a candle to her zeal for the series. By the time I'd woken up, she was about 100 pages in. Of course, the first thing she says to me is "Oh my god, [Minor Character] died!"

Now she knows I've been specifically avoiding spoilers about the book so I wouldn't fall victim to another SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE (Thanks again random asshole in Orgrimmar General Chat). Her excuse was "I just had to tell someone about it!" As if she couldn't have called any of the dozen friends she saw last night when the book was released. Christ, tell the baby! Babies don't care about spoilers, they're BABIES. Or even tell the damn cat. She's more into Artemis Fowl anyway.

Of course, after I restate my express desire to hear no more about the book until I get a chance to read it myself, a few hours later she tells me "Wait until you get to the part with Luna Lovego-" At which point I covered my ears and wondered if I was going to have to stay with a friend for the next few days. So maybe Luna Lovegood dies too. Or maybe she has a lesbian sex scene with Cho Chang. I don't know. I'm still hanging on to my theory that the book will end with Harry and Voldemort just full-on making out, and at some point Professor McGonagall is going to get gang-raped by Crabb and Goyle. If this ends up being the case, then I'll be 100% certain J.K. Rowling has been reading my fan fiction.

Tomorrow night I'm going to read that son of a bitch all the way through, and start saying things around her such as "Poor Ginny. I know the last few books have been getting darker, but I never thought she'd be strung up from the Quidditch hoops by her intestines. By Neville of all people!"

So the question I pose to you, Internets: What are some of your fake predictions for the last book? Will Ron and Hermione drown in gallons of Grawp spunk in a Bukkake incident gone horribly wrong? Will Sirius and Dumbledore come back as zombies to infect the entire student body of Hogwarts? Will we get to see some hot Lupin bestiality? Does it turn out that the entire series was actually a front for Satanism all along? Inquiring and demented minds want to know!
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About Mxyzptlkone of us since 11:08 AM on 11.10.2006

Aaron "Mxy" Yost was an admin for the Dtoid Forums, and hosted/produced the Radio Destructoid podcast with some of the other Dtoid community managers. He also has a dark secret that must never be revealed, lest the world be split asunder.

Pronunciation: "Miks-yez-pit-lik" Most people just pronounce it "Mixie" for short.

I'm a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma; but perhaps there is a key. That key is Russian national interest.

I am a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

I'm not sorry for the things I've said. There's a wild man in my head.

I am two with nature.

I'm a bird who doesn't sing because I have an answer, I sing because I have a song.

I mostly come at night... Mostly.

I'm an alligator, I'm a mama-papa coming for you.

I'm the space invader, I'll be a rock 'n' rollin' bitch for

I'm like, you know... this guy.

You should listen to Radio Destructoid! It's the best podcast ever, except for those other ones that are better.

Ben and I make videos. You love them and want to subscribe to our YouTube channel:

FOOTBALL!!! Blitz: the League 2 Destructoid contest
Left 4 Dead: Interview with a Zombie
Resident Evil 5: A Lesson In Tolerance
Maniac Mansion: Requiem For a Hamster
Castle Crashers Outtakes (Terminator Contest)
Left 4 Dead 2: Interview with a Zombie 2
L4D2 Interview 2 Outtakes
Using Adrenaline in Left 4 Dead 2
The Man-lympics
The Man-lympics Outtakes and Bonus Footage
The Package
Project Mario Vlog: Episode 1
Project Mario Vlog: Episode 2

You can also listen to our ravings about geek culture every week on Airport Road: The Podcast!

My Web 2.0s:
Guitar Hero
Rock Band

Licensed Games That Don't Entirely Suck:
#1: DuckTales
#2: Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers
#3: The Super Star Wars Trilogy
#4: The Dungeons & Dragons Arcade Games
#5: The Warriors

Wii Code: 8534 9943 5696 5337
SSB Brawl Code: 2750-0776-6751
Mario Kart Wii Code: 2363-6044-4563

Much love to domataos for my cblog banner, itemforty for my avatar, and The GHost for my DToid card, as well as every single Dtoider out there for helping to make this the best community on the Interwebs.
Xbox LIVE:MrMxyzptlk123
PSN ID:MrMxyzptlk123
Steam ID:MrMxyzptlk123
Mii code:8534 9943 5696 5337


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