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The Fifth Dimension

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I'M A SHARK!!!! Jaws Unleashed released on GameTap


The Grand Theft Auto-With-A-Shark simulator has recently been unleashed (YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE!?) on GameTap. While I haven't had a chance to play this myself, I'm sure it's every bit as wonderful as people have been saying. Okay, maybe not. So why should you still care? Let's look at the facts:

- Sharks kick ass. If you disagree, you're probably either a baby seal cub or a female surfer currently getting a visit from Aunt Flo. Or maybe you just suck. Knock it off already.

- The soundtrack was composed by Tommy Tallarico, which puts it in the elite class of 87% of all games made since 1991. That dude is crazy obsessed with Spider-Man, which makes him all good in my book. Also, he does some video game concert thing on the side.

- That time a zombie fought a shark in Lucio Fulci's appropriately titled "Zombie". Sure, the zombie won, but that's just goes to show that zombies are pretty hardcore, even out of their element.

- Sharks are cool, and by cool I mean totally sweet.

- It was developed by the same guys who made Ecco The Dolphin, and as we all know Chad is totally gay for dolphins. Therefore it's good by association.

- They have their own week.

- Fear of sharks keeps filmmaker Kevin Smith out of the ocean, and anything that prevents him from wearing a bathing suit in public has to be a good thing.

- That slow motion shot of the Great White jumping out of the water from Planet Earth. I mean, how fucking cool was that?

- See the picture at the top of this post. Or if cell-shading is your preference, see the original webcomic it was based on. Also, see this picture of a gorilla high-fiving a shark in front of an explosion via CTZ's blog. Since sharks, gorillas, and explosions are all rad, that picture is like, quadruple rad. My math is totally correct, because the shark counts twice.

Okay, in all honestly nobody gives a shit about Jaws Unleashed. I bring it up not only as an excuse to post that pic, but to mention again all the other awesome titles GameTap has to offer like Psychonauts or (holy shit didn't this just come out yesterday?) Overlord. It's $9.99 a month for access to an assload of games, and that's a much better way to spend your money than say, feeding starving Africans or something. But do whatever you want. See if I care.
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About Mxyzptlkone of us since 11:08 AM on 11.10.2006

Aaron "Mxy" Yost was an admin for the Dtoid Forums, and hosted/produced the Radio Destructoid podcast with some of the other Dtoid community managers. He also has a dark secret that must never be revealed, lest the world be split asunder.

Pronunciation: "Miks-yez-pit-lik" Most people just pronounce it "Mixie" for short.

I'm a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma; but perhaps there is a key. That key is Russian national interest.

I am a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

I'm not sorry for the things I've said. There's a wild man in my head.

I am two with nature.

I'm a bird who doesn't sing because I have an answer, I sing because I have a song.

I mostly come at night... Mostly.

I'm an alligator, I'm a mama-papa coming for you.

I'm the space invader, I'll be a rock 'n' rollin' bitch for

I'm like, you know... this guy.

You should listen to Radio Destructoid! It's the best podcast ever, except for those other ones that are better.

Ben and I make videos. You love them and want to subscribe to our YouTube channel:

FOOTBALL!!! Blitz: the League 2 Destructoid contest
Left 4 Dead: Interview with a Zombie
Resident Evil 5: A Lesson In Tolerance
Maniac Mansion: Requiem For a Hamster
Castle Crashers Outtakes (Terminator Contest)
Left 4 Dead 2: Interview with a Zombie 2
L4D2 Interview 2 Outtakes
Using Adrenaline in Left 4 Dead 2
The Man-lympics
The Man-lympics Outtakes and Bonus Footage
The Package
Project Mario Vlog: Episode 1
Project Mario Vlog: Episode 2

You can also listen to our ravings about geek culture every week on Airport Road: The Podcast!

My Web 2.0s:
Guitar Hero
Rock Band

Licensed Games That Don't Entirely Suck:
#1: DuckTales
#2: Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers
#3: The Super Star Wars Trilogy
#4: The Dungeons & Dragons Arcade Games
#5: The Warriors

Wii Code: 8534 9943 5696 5337
SSB Brawl Code: 2750-0776-6751
Mario Kart Wii Code: 2363-6044-4563

Much love to domataos for my cblog banner, itemforty for my avatar, and The GHost for my DToid card, as well as every single Dtoider out there for helping to make this the best community on the Interwebs.
Xbox LIVE:MrMxyzptlk123
PSN ID:MrMxyzptlk123
Steam ID:MrMxyzptlk123
Mii code:8534 9943 5696 5337


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