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No longer thrilled about "Max Payne" movie


I have been a Max Payne fan since the first video game came out. Remedy released a demo that included the first level, and I was totally hooked. Then the game came out and I had to pick my jaw off the floor the entire time -- the darkness of the noir feeling to the design, the graphics which were outstanding for the time, the comic-book (sorry ... graphic novel) feeling to the cutscenes, everything about the game was incredible. It was one of the first FPSs that actually compelled me to go back and play it again almost as soon as I had finished it.

Max Payne 2 was a pre-order as soon as the pre-order was available, and it didn't miss a beat. The same feeling, the same quality of the level design, and same richness of the story of were all there, making me long for a third installment of the game.

So, when I heard that a Max Payne movie is coming out and that it isn't directed by Uwe Boll, I was skeptical but I hoped more than anything else that it would follow true to the feel and direction of the games. I even thought that Marky Mark could do a good job in the role.

With respect to story and empathy for Max, the strength of the games come from Max's personal struggles -- first, the death of this wife and child, then relationship with and death of Mona (which started with the death of yet another innocent woman, as Max himself points out at the start of the second game.) They could have just ported the first game over to a movie and it would have been great because the game has all of the elements of an action movie -- but with more story. *cough*

I now think that the movie is going to suck.

Oh, sure. It might do well on its own, but I think that this movie is going to seriously piss off fans of the video game. The full trailer is over at IESB (link below). After seeing it, I think I want to hurl.


Instead of having a movie based on Max's internal struggles, he now has become the New York noir version of Van Helsing, fighting off what appear to be a horde of Valkyries. As far as the trailer is concerned, the movie has become a modern day, supernatural, gun fest, combining Van Helsing, The Matrix, and Sin City. Once again, the movie appears to be a clear indication that Hollywood has become a bastion of non-creativity where the preference is to replace rich storylines with a bunch of cockamamie CGI effects in an attempt to make the eye candy replace the lack of story.

In fact, the only thing that even bears any resemblance to the story line of the original game is that in the movie he is fighting valkyries but in the video game he fought the distributor of the drug Valkyr. I honestly hope that whoever wrote the screenplay to this movie didn't actually think that we're so stupid that we would accept that as a viable link between the game and the movie. Oh, wait. These valkyries killed his family and partner. Yes, that will be enough to link with the game, too, right? Not.

This is not the personal, tormented Max Payne from the videogames. In fact, I don't know what this is. It seems to be more like Max Payne: Pissed-Off Supernatural Crime Fighter. But I do know one thing: based on what I've seen of this trailer, this will not be getting my dollars at the box office.
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About John Bone of us since 1:15 AM on 11.26.2006

As one of the oldest members of Dtoid, (I'm already over the big 4-0) I've been gaming since the Atari 2600 was a brand new item, and thousands of my teenage hours were dedicated to gaming on the Commodore 64 and messing around with the new 300-baud modems. (That's .00003 of a megabit per second, for those of you who only know broadband.)

I'm proud to say that I'm a member of the first-generation of gamers, and I still use my PC and each of the three current-gen consoles regularly -- and not for "casual" games. Bring on the hard-core FPS and 3PS! I want to shoot something!

So, I give a big PHUCK YOU!!! to anyone who thinks that video games are for kids! As far as I'm concerned, they haven't been for kids for over 20 years.

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