Lose weight now with the gaming diet!

Hey you. Yes you. The one with the low self-esteem. Tired of seeing game characters that are fitter than you? Has all that doubling down taken you to round town? Well worry no more because with the gaming diet you can gain the figure of your favourite game characters.

We offer a wide range of diet plans modelled on gaming stars. All you have to do is choose the character whose build you like best and (for a very reasonable price) we will set you on the course to achieving your dream body.

Terms and conditions apply. All diets may cause physical or emotional distress, internal damage, bleeding of the rectum and/or death.

The Fallout diet.

It’s the diet of the future! Don’t those wastelanders look thin? The Fallout diet consists mostly of century old preserved food and Nuka Cola. Not to mention local delicacies like iguana on a stick, squirrel stew, mole rat meat and all the irradiated toilet water you can drink. If you live good for you, if you die at least you’ll leave a beautiful corpse.

Side effects may include – Radiation poisoning, loss of the will to live.


The Resident Evil diet.

Comes in two delectable varieties. Z-licious Zombie and Roided Redfield Raspberry. We’ve all craved the sweet tang of human flesh every now and then, and now with the Z-licious Zombie diet you finally have an excuse. If you prefer the biceps-bigger-than-your-head look, you need Roided Redfield Raspberry. Containing mostly raspberries, raw eggs, Jill sandwiches and plenty of “herbs” that totally aren’t steroids.

Side effects may include – Pasty complexion, death or extreme bouts of rage, shrinkage


D’aaaaaaaawww...

And there it is. Be sure to tell us of any other game characters you want the shape of and we can make it happen for you. True beauty is on the inside but that doesn’t mean your outside can’t look good too!

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LOOK WHO CAME:

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