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Lose weight now with the gaming diet!

Hey you. Yes you. The one with the low self-esteem. Tired of seeing game characters that are fitter than you? Has all that doubling down taken you to round town? Well worry no more because with the gaming diet you can gain the figure of your favourite game characters.

We offer a wide range of diet plans modelled on gaming stars. All you have to do is choose the character whose build you like best and (for a very reasonable price) we will set you on the course to achieving your dream body.

Terms and conditions apply. All diets may cause physical or emotional distress, internal damage, bleeding of the rectum and/or death.

The Fallout diet.

It’s the diet of the future! Don’t those wastelanders look thin? The Fallout diet consists mostly of century old preserved food and Nuka Cola. Not to mention local delicacies like iguana on a stick, squirrel stew, mole rat meat and all the irradiated toilet water you can drink. If you live good for you, if you die at least you’ll leave a beautiful corpse.

Side effects may include – Radiation poisoning, loss of the will to live.

The Resident Evil diet.

Comes in two delectable varieties. Z-licious Zombie and Roided Redfield Raspberry. We’ve all craved the sweet tang of human flesh every now and then, and now with the Z-licious Zombie diet you finally have an excuse. If you prefer the biceps-bigger-than-your-head look, you need Roided Redfield Raspberry. Containing mostly raspberries, raw eggs, Jill sandwiches and plenty of “herbs” that totally aren’t steroids.

Side effects may include – Pasty complexion, death or extreme bouts of rage, shrinkage


And there it is. Be sure to tell us of any other game characters you want the shape of and we can make it happen for you. True beauty is on the inside but that doesn’t mean your outside can’t look good too!
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About Handyone of us since 1:44 PM on 09.14.2009

Welcome to the blog.... you must be bored. anyway im Handy, I'm a student in Ireland and I'm here to talk about whatever may come into my mind....so not much then.

Lets see... I’ve been playing games pretty much my whole life, since my Commodore back in the day to my ps3 now I’ve been hooked. Actually come to think of it I can’t remember a time I wasn’t playing games. Can’t say I have a favourite genre, I like to try a bit of everything, though I will go to town on a good RPG. I’ll have something to fill in this space as soon as my life becomes interesting.

^^^ Seriously, I wrote that like four years ago and still nothing interesting has happened.

Like everyone else on Destructoid I’m at a loss on what to fill this space with so I guess I’ll just catalogue my greatest hits, if you can call a loose collection of lists and borderline pornographic fanart “greatest hits”.

Listmania – Because liking something isn’t as important as liking it in the correct order.

Game plots that are clearly rip-offs: Part two

Gamings Greatest Slinky Invisible Women with Huge Asses

E3 Approaches: The E3 survival guide!

Something about E3: 34 things you’ll have to hear soon

Lost? Lonely? Looking for Love?

Gaming’s worst legal guardians

Gaming DIY

Valentine’s Day, Shmalentine’s.....Shmay

Get a new look at the Gaming Salon!


The NPC survival guide

Game lessons that don’t work in real life

Fanart Flops – Because you must suffer.

Fanart Flops: Back by (Un)Popular Demand

Fanart Flops: Eyebleach, I Choose You Edition

Fanart Flops: Octopus Hojo Edition

Fanart Flops: Stop Raping My Childhood Edition

Fanart Flops. (Possibly NSFW)

Wankery – The terrible results of when I pretend I’m smart.

Dear Industry: I Am Not a Psychopath

Final Fantasy Versus Itself

Only Human

The culture Gap

Sargasm – Because I’m kind of a dick.

Darksiders 2 in a nutshell

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

How Dare You, Capcom

Death to Red Shepard!

How to make a sequel

Why FFXIII is the worst one EVAR!

The Scandalous Scam of Samit Sarkar!

In the name of SCIENCE!!!

Front page – When Destructoid has terrible lapses in judgement.

Top 12 Videogame porno parodies (NSFW)

Handy’s X-mas X-travaganza begins now!

Game plots that are clearly rip-offs

Comments of the Week: Busst Stop

Comments of the week: George Michael Warfare 3

Don’t forget Comments of the Week

Comments of the Week: Tinfoil Hat Edition

Just because.
PSN ID:Handy2


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