I fear the addiction....

So I  got a PS4 a few months ago and took some time to play Dying Light while going back to Destiny occasionally for the Iron Banner events.  I finished Dying Light in about two weeks (everything possible in the single player but I didn't try the online co-op because I enjoyed the challenges of solo'ing).  I really enjoyed the game because killing zombies truly is a lot of fun and I find the game very relaxing!  On Black Friday I picked up two games on my Christmas List - The Witcher 3 and Elder Scrolls Online.  For some reason I chose to play Elder Scrolls Online first - and I think I made a mistake!  So many choices... but I randomly went with a Breton Templar in the Daggerfall Covenant. 

My PSN is Elsa and this is what I preferred to be called in games so that I don't wonder who the hell people are talking to, but with the movie Frozen, my name has apparently become exceedingly popular and almost every variation of my name was already taken.  I eventually got frustrated and figured nobody would name their Elsa character "Elsa the Housewife"... so yeah... that's now me... with my mighty steed Swiffer (yeah... as in Swiffer dusters which are awesome for cleaning consoles!).  I also acquired my first pet (the mechanical spider for doing a dungeon) and have named him "Roomba"... because he kinda looks a bit like those robotic Roomba vaccum cleaners and I like to think he's running around behind me keeping everything clean. My next horse or pet will likely get named Hoover, Dyson or some other domestic engineering related name.  I think I've found a theme!  I also find that with the name "Elsa the Housewife" I tend to get fewer comments or PSN messages asking if I want to build a snowman.  I guess the housewife part kinda detracts from being perceived as a Princess! I'm still rather dreading the release of Frozen 2... but hopefully the whole "Elsa" thing will fade with time and people will just "let it go".

(Me and my lil spidey pet "Roomba")

Things started out like most any other Elder Scrolls games... lots of little quests and slowly ranking up and even more slowly getting enough money to buy storage (which is a mini-game onto itself!).  As I got more into the game, it seemed that no matter what direction I walked in, I would come across tons of new quests.  Gradually I started entering the group events and doing dungeons... and then it happened.  I joined a Guild... actually two.  I started talking to people with more experience in the game and finding out how truly complex the game was. Skills, class, inventory, which trades are of value (woodworking, alchemy, provisioning, metalworking, etc, etc).  Ouch... so many choices, so many options, all limited by the slow ranking up process and that lack of inventory space.  It's the people though.  It's the people I play with that generally keep me in a game and it's the people that made me play over 1000 hours of Warhawk, 2000+ hours in MAG, about a 1000 hours in Destiny... and I suspect this game will be the same... or worst.  Everyone I've met so far has been really nice and more than willing to share their knowledge of the game.  I can already see that this game has far more content and complexity than I first perceived.... and is far more addictive.  I tend to log in each day to feed my horse (and get that extra storage space) or to set up my researching of traits (which again, can only be done once per day).   Then I often figure I'll just do one quest... which leads to another, then another.  Then back to town because I've picked up so much crap and have no more carrying space (and yes, I already created an alt mule character for extra storage but may have to create a few more just to store stuff until I know what skills I might eventually use).  After logging in to just feed my horse... hours have slipped by!  I'm also reaching the stage where I'm finding out about the Undaunted daily quests... so again, the game is designed for addiction.  I started playing on November 28th, the day after Black Friday and I'm currently a level 48 and I still don't feel like I've even touched the game (I still haven't tried PVP yet!).

Fallout 4 (which I got for Christmas), Witcher 3... these games will have to wait and I just hope that at some point my current game addiction will break and I'll get a chance to play these games!  I also find that I'm gaming too much lately... way too much!!  I've had a lot of surgeries this year and when I'm not having surgeries it's been various rounds of biopsies and fun medical tests.  While recovering I got into the bad habit of playing games (which did mean fewer pain killers!).  I played a lot of Destiny on my PS3 but also made my way through a bunch of other games and find that even now that I"m recovered, I often start gaming around noon... taking a break to make and eat dinner... then I go back to gaming till 9:30 or 10pm (or until my eyes are so blurry that I just can't see anymore).  I know that I have to stop and cut down on my gaming time and get back to doing other things... like actually getting some exercise, but it's been a bit of a struggle.  I find that even when I'm not playing ESO, I'm looking up stuff on the Internet and wading through the options for tanking, healing, DPS'ing.  I'm checking out which weapons might best suit my play style and even looking up armor designs so that I get to make something pretty.  Yes, I'm shallow like that.  If I went to the trouble to make myself an older, brownish gray haired female character... I don't want her wearing ugly armor.  Luckily the game seems to provide a multitude of options and there can be a balance between function and fashion, sexy and sex object.

(Casual attire... for when I want to feel more feminine, pretty... and even... sexy.. ish)

I always feared the possible addiction of MMO's and avoided them.  Now that I have inadvertently started playing one, I was right and I guess that recognizing the problem of gaming too much is the first step and I hope small steps to correct this issue will help.  Yesterday I baked cookies.... and played ESO to reward myself for getting something done.  Yeah, baby steps.  I've also decided that maybe I'm best as a tank in ESO.  Contrary to gender expectations, I'm not good at standing back and supporting the team by being a healer.  I'm also not good at DPS'ing the Adds (all the annoying smaller critters that distract you from the boss and will usually kill you faster than the boss).  I constantly find myself rushing the boss or protecting the precious healer in our group.  I like aggro'ing the boss and having them come after me... it gives me a bit of a rush, possibly because I lead such a boring and mundane life in the real world.  It's my own fault though that I lead a rather boring life, and frankly, I kinda like it that way.  It's easy to blame my health issues (or the very stressful and time consuming legal case I've been involved in that has now been bumped to May for a court date because there was no Judge or Court room available for the December trial date... or my Dad going though cancer treatments, which luckily were successful).  Blame is a dangerous game though and negates my own personal responsibility.  

Life will always present challenges and I'm the only one responsible for my own happiness.  Gaming does bring me happiness, and I certainly don't think I need to give it up.  I get other things done and I have no issue turning it off when I can spend time with my husband or family.  My responsibilities are being met, but I guess I recognize that I need something more.  It doesn't have to be a lot more... just something where I am leaving some form of footprint in the real world.  Meh... maybe I just need to get back into blogging.  I've always enjoyed writing and the exchange of ideas, the people I interact with... so yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and just post this.  I'm going to try and blog at least once a week again... possibly more.

... baby steps away from the addiction... from playing a game to writing about it! :)

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