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10 years, 10 things, 10 members


10 years

Hello, my brain is on fire.

What do you do when that happens? Put it out, maybe, if you're a dull wanker who fears your own genitals!

Now the rest of us, we ride that shit as far as we can, like a fiery tidal wave, on a surfboard made of solidified hopes and dreams. Or you own genitals.

Destructoid was pushed out the digital vagoo in 2006, and in case you forgot, the current year is 2016. This means we're still in the site's tenth year, something that should be a year long celebration in my arrogant opinion. It's also my 5th year on the site, meaning I joined somewhere at the midpoint, meaning I could probably be considered a senior member at this point. Slightly wild to think about.

Going with the theme of the number 10, here's a continuation of the popular '10 Things About You' trend, more appropriate this year than ever before, and ressurected by someone who isn't me, because I forgot I was doing this and left it for months. Also included is a list of members who've made an impression on me since last time, when the number was 9. But now it's 10, so it's better!

"But Dango, didn't your last blog say you were done blogging here?" Oh yeah!? So you think you got me!? You think you've caught me with my fucking pants down because of this!? Shut your goddamn... of all the voices in my head, you gotta be the most useless! It's called a 'special occasion', look it up you devourer of foreskin!

So, uh, yeah, the actual content is a bit lower, you gotta scroll a little. See you there!

10 things

Hello again! Like, it's the 10 Things list now. Okay. Good times...


I enjoy "girly" songs

"Girly" in this case would mean something like "sung by a girl/young woman from the perspective of a girl/young woman, directed at girls/young women". So old lady rock bands don't count, okay?

In my last 10 things blog (which was only 8 things because I'm a hack), I mentioned that my taste in music was strange, as my two preferred genres, hard rock and trance, are extremely far apart and have very little in common. The relevance here is that this type of music also seems to have little in common with either, and it's getting to a point where I can't explain myself anymore. It's all emotional, I can either deny it or roll with it, so I'm sticking with the healthy choice.

The one song that made me think about this was Carly Rae Jepsen's Tonight I'm Getting Over You, and it has all the charmingly uplifting qualities I like in similar songs. That's not to mention all of Adele's songs, though I almost don't want to include those because they are actually really good, and everyone else seems to love them. Oh, and I also have the softest spot in the world for Barbie Girl from Aqua, and I'm definitely not alone on that one either.

I don't listen to these songs on a regular basis, but whenever they are on the radio, I can't help but enjoy them. As I said, all emotion, no control, I'll accept it.

I'm a little bit of a food snob

A little bit. Not to any remotely serious degree, but there definitely is a point where food, even technically healthy and properly prepared food, fails to pass a quality standard with me. It mostly has to do with me feeling McDonald's/Burger King and the like has gradually gone from a treat (as a kid) to tasteless crap with several vastly superior alternatives (the past 6-7 years), so I've decided to go for the alternatives whenever I can, even for fast food. Looking back, I don't think I've ever actually enjoyed most junkfood aside from the whole "consumer experience" thing, which has become an increasingly important part of making people spend money.

The philosophy that even the worst pizza is good pizza is also horseshit. I've had pizza so bad that I refused to eat the rest of it after two bites, and I was very hungry at that point. We're talking pizza so bad, I can't guarantee I wouldn't rather starve to death. 

Thing is, good food is possible. We've made tons of it before, we will make tons of it again, so I see no need to settle for garbage, or even mediocrity. Making food that barely has any flavour, or feels wrong to chew, seems extremely unreasonably to me. It's really not that hard to do much, much better.

I started working out about about a year ago

One of the best decisions I've ever made. For a long time unemployed person, there is nothing better than getting to use some time and energy working towards a goal, especially of the core of that goal is being healthy. I've been feeling significant results so far, and my only regret is not starting sooner.

Bein able to feel the results, and letting that motivate me to push myself even further, was exactly what I needed during such a slow and slightly depressing phase of my life, trying and failing to get jobs anywhere I could. It gave me a reason to get out of bed and work on myself, rather than some project that won't matter to me once it's done. As far as spending time goes, it certainly beats a regular job.

That said, the driving force here is still to gain weight, as I've always been a pretty small guy. Downright weak as a kid and a teenager. Making such a big difference to myself has been fantastic, and I'm definitely not done yet.

It might become harder to find the time for working out once I start studying again, but I absolutely will make it fit into my schedule, because it's become a far too important part of my life.

I'm equal parts cat and dog person

Fuck choosing!

Cats and dogs are both beautifully smart and expressive creatures, that both have wonderful natural qualities, making both of them fantastic pets.

Sure, the two are considered natural enemies, but I'd much rather stop the fighting than pick a side and watch it go on. The two are stronger together, an unstoppable team combining the best of both worlds when it comes to pets, so I refuse making a choice. It's okay, we'll probably survive even if we don't split all of humanity into two opposing groups on every single subject ever.

Also, no, I'm not a "fox person", the fictional fox character in my avatar just happen to be a good role model okay!?

My mother is a huge Die Hard fan, but I've never seen it

Except the fifth one, which makes it worse because that's supposed to be the only bad one. Lots of regrets here, especially after Alan Rickman's passing. It's something I need to get around to, so you don't have to yell at me. You will, but you don't have to.

Mama Dango's expressed her disappointment in me before, but never actually taken action to make me watch it, so this is the one movie I haven't seen that I can blame her for entirely.

Sadly, the same can't be said about the fact that...

There are several other classic movies I've yet to see.

Alien(s), Terminator (2), The Godfather, The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, Army of Darkness, Ghostbusters, 2001: A Space Odyssey and both Lord of the Rings sequels come to mind.

I will make an effort to catch up with these, as well as more recent ones I missed, like John Wick, Zootopia and 12 Years a Slave.

Oh, I also haven't seen Goodfellas. Alright, sorry, I'll get to it all!

I'm atheist, but the chill kind

Which means that I've chosen not to believe in any specific religion, and that's it. I'm not gonna tell anyone how to live their life or to join my way of thinking, nor do I feel there is anything wrong with religion. I get why people choose to believe, and I would never claim to understand how the universe works, because none of us do. All we can do is deal with that in our own ways.

I shouldn't have to explain what being atheist actually means, but the internet ruins a lot of things, and this is one of the most unfortunate examples of that. To me, none of this matters very much, so it's such a shame to watch people waste hours of time getting upset about it.

Religion, like politics, is a horrendous subject of conversation. I feel that focusing your life too much around either is a mistake, and that it's important to make room for other things in life.

Things such as the next point on the list.

I love canoeing, and have done it a lot by now

Going on a canoe trip was a yearly thing for my family, and it lasted for several years, with few gaps. Often, the weather would be horrendous, but despite this, I never stopped liking it.

Canoeing is kinda like riding a bike, except instead of seats that threaten to push my balls back into me, I'll be dealing with seats that threaten to turn my ass into a usable coffee table. Oh, and everything else is different too. Rather than your arms, it's your legs that'll fall asleep in this case, making you walk like a Stephen Hawking every time you need a pee break on land.

Really, what makes a canoe trip appealing is usually the environment. I've mostly been sailing down the same few streams and lakes I used to when I was a kid, with few exceptions, because they are always worth coming back to. The surrounding nature is tranquil and beautiful, with only a few bits of civilization popping up here and there, none of it too distracting.

Another thing is the sense of control and "mastery" over the giant wooden banana you sit in, something that tickles the same part of my brain that drives me to play video games. It's not inherently easy, and a lot of first timers struggle with sailing in a straight line. When you're two people in one canoe, you also have to make sure you're on the same page in order to avoid crashing into something, which is another challenge in itself. It is so satisfying once you do manage to do well, however, easily making the struggle worth it!

Canoeing also often combines other things I like, like grilling and camping, so that's a huge bonus.

I really enjoy webcomics, and would love some recommendations

My avatar is from one, after all. Probably the best one too, as Oglaf (NSFW) is a shining example of how much brilliance we have access to with our fingers. Crazy that all of it's free, too!

But my webcomic consumption doesn't stop there at all. Cyanide and Happiness, Pandyland and Channelate are other strip comics that I like reading. Pandyland is worth it for the Skip Toby stories alone, and the other two are usually short, often dark and absurd jokes. Can't believe people used to wait for the newspaper, to get much tamer stuff than this too. What a bunch of idiots, being born earlier than me.

Longer, more ambitious stories are also ones I read from time to time, if not quite the same amount. I'm one of the Patreon patrons (didn't know of a better way to word that, sorry) for Der-Shing Helmer, who's writing two large scale story comics, The Meek and Mare Internum. The former is war themed fantasy about dictators and magic demon animals, while the latter is sci-fi starring a mentally unstable dude who finds water on Mars. Both of them are very ambitious and interesting. Both are also ongoing and being updated side by side.

If you have anything you want to recommend me, based on this or your own preferences, I'd like to hear it. The internet is home to some fantastic creators, even if some of them can be hard to find.

I dream of living in a sweet house in the forest

Inspired by the Canadian relatives I visited 4 years ago, who lived in a really nice, big house surrounded by trees. It wasn't the middle of nowhere, only a short drive from the city, but it was a peaceful, beautiful area to live in, and it felt disconnected from everything.

Fairly recently, I came to the conclusion that this is the just about the life I want to live! A proper house, with everything a modern house has, only built inside a forest. Bliss.

Another thing I want for my house is an outdoor stone oven, so I can bake delicious bread and make (non-starveworthy) pizza!

Ideally, there can be a lake nearby, so I can go do the thing I mentioned two points above. And internet, so I can read webcomics, and cats and dogs and... fuck it, I'm not doing this.

Forest houses are cool, I want one. Why do I even need to explain this?


Basically, the theme of the list is that I'm working towards being happier. I don't have any notable sad facts or stories to tell, and I'm not sure I'd do that either way (Unless you count not watching Die Hard as sad). A nice, positive list is a much better fit for something that's meant to be a celebration, so there we go!

Scroll even further for the last part. I can't do transitions for shit.

10 members

So obviously the list from last year still counts, and this is only an extension to that, adding up to 19 members total. In case you were wondering. Like an idiot.

He narrowly avoided the last, even more difficult-to-make list, but now he's finally getting the credit he deserves. Even though he hasn't been very active lately, I still feel like owe him this.

There is no human being on earth like FlanxLycanth. Everything from his admission that his username is mostly nonsense, to the entirely unpredictable comments and remarks he comes up with, it all makes him his own man, and even though he clearly doesn't play anything other than that one Final Fantasy MMO game, I'm glad he decided to join a community dedicated to a wide variety of video games.

In all seriousness, even though Flanx hasn't been at his most active recently, I doubt I'll ever forget his presence on the site. Especially now if he suddenly decides to become super active again, which would be ace! No pressure though.

Hope you're doing as good as you can mate, sincerely: me.

You've read the tales of his struggles against the terrible lizard coworkers. So have I, and I fucking love them! Of all the quickposts we see on this site every day, this guy definitely provides my favourite ones. I look forward to every story he has to tell, and the never feel to make my day a little bit brighter.

One of the most effortlessly entertaining members of this community, SpielerDad seems to be trapped in a bizarre sitcom, specifically something similar to The Office, but probably even weirder based on some of the stories we've heard (such as the shrimp incident). Sharing his thoughts on people and situations around him seems to be his way of dealing with the madness of life, I can't think of a better way of doing so.

Fight on, SpielerDad, we all root for you!

Once this legendary figure became a community manager, Destructoid entered an age where user created blogs reached the front page more often than ever before. This made the community feel like a bigger part of the site than it had up until that point, and I can't help but feel like his push for more front page blogs has hugely influenced other staff members.

Honestly, it's hard not to feel like I owe him, as he was responsible for promoting two of my own blogs (even informing me of this beforehand). Both of those cases made me feel like I had much more of a voice than usual, and it's fantastic to often see other bloggers continue to get a similar treatment

Some say he has the work ethic of a thousand mortal men, but I'd say that many of those mortal men would likely drag the others down. I say it's more like one very large man who drinks a lot of coffee and has 10 arms.

Chris writes a lot of stories and articles for Destructoid, and while his productivity has often been joked about among commenters, it really is admirable just how much he gets done. Combine his excellent work with his adoration for classic games and genres (Mega Man especially comes to mind), along with his tendency to replay certain games yearly, and you've got one of the best writers a site like this could ask for. Here's a guy who knows what he likes and sticks to it, an approach that makes for some of the most enjoyable content on the site.

Carter is the kind of person who reminds you why you come to sites like these to begin with, and he's become such an important part of the site that it's hard to imagine it without him.

Unless I dreamt it (plausible), a member here once wrote something along the lines of "we can't all be Sr Churros". Well, maybe we should try. I don't remember the context, but maybe it's worth making an effort.

Sr Churros is the kind of member you want for every community. Genuine enthusiasm for the overall theme (video games/soup), friendly and outgoing personality, silly cartoon avatar, a name based on something you can eat, everything a great member needs. Gold stars for this man! He also likes Don't Starve, another gold star! Then a third gold star, for his ability to earn two gold stars in such a short period of time.

By the way, I never found out of it was "Sir" or "Señor" Churros, but so far it's been the latter in my mind. Unless it's just SR Churros, like Lt. LT Smash.

Another food themed member, though I feel like there's two meanings to that username. Could be intentional, so if it is, I'm just letting you know that I caught it!

Wes sits at the heart of the community, making sure it stays healthy as ever. That seems like high praise for someone who hasn't been a regular for that long, all things considered, but he's earned it with his undying enthusiasm and excited approach of getting to know people, making me imagine him as a giant puppy that walks like a man. Not that this mental image has much of a survival chance against the most selfie happy user on the site (which admittedly doesn't say much at all), but I still belive it's who he is on the inside.

You're a fun dude, Wes, please stay on the site so I don't have to force you.

A passionate gamer and gaming blog writer, Michformer won me over in a short period of time by posting a bunch of very interesting blogs about the mysterious secrets behind making a good game. His blogs have touched on everything from storytelling and world building to satisfying gunplay and other gameplay concepts, trying to pin down the exact elements that need to come together in order for games to feel right. Said blogs also always provides positive examples of each point, allowing the reader to get a better understanding of what he's talking about, while also serving to make the blogs a bit more fun in general. It's all good stuff, and a massively welcome addition to our community blogs.

Mich is also very friendly and polite, always willing to have a friendly discussion. It did once get to the point where he expressed concern that he'll overstep a line that make us dislike him, but don't worry man, that's not gonna happen, you keep being you! Yeah, I just started addressing you in first person mid-sentence, because sometimes the rules need to be broken!

Named after the best penguin from the Madagascar movie series (I assume, at least), Rico has to be one of the most natural members to have a conversation with. True, I know that mostly from chatting with him on Discord, and technically that's where he's left most of an impact on me, but his activity on the main Dtoid site has definitely been noticed too.

Sharp wit is another thing Rico excels at, with comments full of dry humour and clever observations, and his Quickposts are also ones I largely look forward to, lizard free as they may be.

Did you know that the Netherlands is the worst place on the surface of our planet? Sure, some nations have dicators, constant terrorism, dangerous animals, tsunamis or earthquakes to deal with, and sure, the bottom of the Pacific Ocean probably isn't a very fun place to be, but at least none of that is as bad as pretty ladies in orange oufits eating fish. Because that's the worst thing. That's the worst thing ever.

But some of us are tougher than this, including this blue ghost dude, who's responsible for bringing my ass back in the blogging game one last time, by reminding me that was an option.

Thanks, buddy. Your username make no sense.

ZombZ is another endearing fellow, one who happens to share my interest in using Photoshop for extremely silly purposes. The main difference is Zombzies's insane obsession with the banjo dude from the cover of Phalanx, and honestly, that's proven to be a very effective way to gain attention, in a "publicly pouring gasoline on yourself" kinda way.

Lil' Batman also appears to be a fan of riddles, giving people stuff and gradually getting more and more rude to said people, after winning their trust and affection by giving them free stuff. Can't help but admire how the guy thinks.



That's about all I've got for you, hope you enjoyed it. Do keep in mind that I like most regular members on the site, so if you didn't make it in, know that it was most likely a close call.

So this is probably gonna be the actual last blog I publish on the site, leaving me with a satisfying total of 40. Not all of them good, for sure, but that's such a nice, round number to end it all on. Plenty of qposts to come though!

In conclusion:

Happy 10th Destructoid, may the next decade be even better!

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About Dango one of us since 10:28 AM on 11.09.2011

Art by the fantastic Roberto Plankton

Phalanxification by the bombastic ZombZ

The cream of my video game crop (no longer in alphabetical order):