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Star Wars: Force Arena Review

THERE'S A NEW STAR WARS GAME OUT. EVERYBODY STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING. EVERYBODY STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND SHUT UP ABOUT NINTENDO SWITCH BECAUSE THERE'S A NEW STAR WARS GAME OUT AND IT'S GOT K-2SO IN IT. "Did you just summon a bunch of ...

 
 
 
 

What you need to know before starting Dark Souls 3

I'm back, everyone! Where have I been? Making my way across America on a kick scooter. No, seriously. Click here to see the footage if you don't believe me. (SPOILER: IT DOESN'T END WELL) I have been having a pleasant holiday, physical...

 
 
 
 

Boom Beach bombards players with free stuff

Hello, Destructoid. Sorry I haven't been around much this week. Every time I sit down to do something I open Clash Royale for a quick game, and then three hours disappear like Peter Molyneux's credibility. As a result my blogging, my...

 
 
 

Pokemon GO is kind of freaking me out

It's quite astonishing that Nintendo has taken so long to steal their concept back from the short-lived AR fad "Invizimals." Well, it should be astonishing. It's not, because Nintendo, but there you go. This is happening.  Now,...

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Slashy Souls is GREAT!

Chris Carter wrote the Slashy Souls review that Destructoid needs right now. Here's the one it deserves.                                       &n...

 
 
 
 
 

How The Vince Saved Wrestlemania

A while ago I did a recap article on a WWE pay per view. It was very well received, so I was planning to follow it up with a recap of Fast Lane.  When it came time to sit down and bash the keys, though, the ennui was crushi...

 
 
 
 

VTime virtual reality chat launches for Gear VR

I wasn't expecting to have my mind blown today. You want to know what I was doing today before I discovered Vtime? THIS. This is what I was doing. Purely by chance I decided to have a dial through the Oculus store on Gear VR to se...

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

BAWWWWW In February (WARNING: BEYOND EYES SPOILERS)

Last night I was messing around with Bloodborne, trying to get all the chalice dungeons put to bed and Queen Yharnam taken to funkytown for my Four in February. Things weren't going too well. For a start, I'd spent the last hour lookin...

 
 
 

Downwell Android Review

Downwell launched on iOS back in the heady mists of four months ago, and wow did it have performance issues if you had anything other than a top of the range device. The frame rate was about as smooth as Helena Bonham-Carter's thighs...

 
 
 
 
 

Tony The Tiger vs Furry Porn vs Chester Cheetah

"Hey, Tony the Tiger, I want to see if you have stripes under those shorts!" Said no-one, ever. Only this is the internet, so they did, on Twitter, at Kellogs' official account, and now the people who make the Tony the Tiger cartoons know t...

 
 
 
 

White Whales: Dragonslayer Ornstein

Why hello there, Mr. Ornstein.  No, there's no need to look confused. I'm sure you don't remember me. After all, why would you? I'm nothing special. No doubt I'm no different to the thousands of luckless undead on their way through...

 
 
 
 

Samsung Gear VR Review

When my beloved Android pocket rocket the Nexus 5 suffered death by pavement this week, I had two choices. Upgrade to the slimline, pureblood Nexus 6, or climb back onto the gas-guzzling ponderous juggernaut that is the Galaxy series. ...

 
 

About Dalek Sexone of us since 3:11 PM on 02.27.2013

Z list internet comic. I have worked on stuff for podcasts like What A Fool Believes, We Are The Lolocaust, The Monday Movie Show and The Gamescast. I named myself while I was blogging for Tachyon TV. There is a Dr. Who character called "Dalek Sec," only I made it a penis joke. Witty.

I have a Youtube channel where I play terrible mobile games. Sometimes I write and sing funny songs, like the Tailspin theme I rewrote to be about Jonathan Holmes.

Every print magazine and most of the websites I have ever written for have collapsed pyrotechnically within months, making me the Typhoid Mary of games journalism.

I used to write and manage the front page of Encyclopedia Dramatica when it was still good (pre-2008).

I got fired from NTSC-UK once.
 
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