THERE'S A NEW STAR WARS GAME OUT. EVERYBODY STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING. EVERYBODY STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND SHUT UP ABOUT NINTENDO SWITCH BECAUSE THERE'S A NEW STAR WARS GAME OUT AND IT'S GOT K-2SO IN IT. "Did you just summon a bunch of ...

Communism is one of the most horribly doomed projects in the history of governance. I mean sure, capitalism can get pretty f'd up at times, but at least you have a reasonably even chance of not starving to death (assuming you're not a ...

I'm back, everyone! Where have I been? Making my way across America on a kick scooter. No, seriously. Click here to see the footage if you don't believe me. (SPOILER: IT DOESN'T END WELL) I have been having a pleasant holiday, physical...

No doubt by now you've become aware that these days, it's all about the cucks. If you're a right-thinking post-gamergate netizen, you'll no doubt be in a breathless rush to find out if you're cucking enough cucks, and if the cucks you've cu...

Hello, Destructoid. Sorry I haven't been around much this week. Every time I sit down to do something I open Clash Royale for a quick game, and then three hours disappear like Peter Molyneux's credibility. As a result my blogging, my...

It's quite astonishing that Nintendo has taken so long to steal their concept back from the short-lived AR fad "Invizimals." Well, it should be astonishing. It's not, because Nintendo, but there you go. This is happening.  Now,...

Imma tell you right now, I love me some lo-fi pixelated horror. Anything from Project Firestart to Spooky's House via Clocktower. So when I woke up to find that the internet was going squee over a horror game which was three megabytes to do...

It's not my policy to post two blogs in a day, but this shit is timely.  I've now had a whole day to digest the new Ghostbusters trailer. In case you missed it, it's this one.  A whole RUINED day. All the salt over Ni...

Last year, mobile developer Masukachi K.K. brought us a clicker game about polygamy called Ten Billion Wives. The aim of the game was to accumulate as many waifus as possible by clicking. There were maid waifus, loli waifus, tsundere waifus...

Sometimes you just need to reach out and admit you need help. This is one of those times. I'm afraid that just memorising the opinions of TotalBiscuit and Jim Sterling, adding penis jokes to them and pretending that they are my ow...

Chris Carter wrote the Slashy Souls review that Destructoid needs right now. Here's the one it deserves.                                       &n...

Roppongi, Tokyo, 3AM. You've spent a delightful evening drinking, dancing and enjoying the capital of neon lights with a smoking hot Japanese beauty who is, frankly, what they call "Punching way, way above your weight." Just as you're think...

FULL DISCLOSURE: I pre-ordered a game, a FREE game, with no physical delivery or pre-order bonuses. It didn't even download the game automatically when it was released, it just woke me up with a bing to tell me I could download it...

A while ago I did a recap article on a WWE pay per view. It was very well received, so I was planning to follow it up with a recap of Fast Lane.  When it came time to sit down and bash the keys, though, the ennui was crushi...

Earlier in the month I made a blog post when I was not OK. I was not OK because I was playing an indie game about a large headed child figure who is for some reason lost in a world which is somehow surreal, unfamiliar, threatening or a comb...

I wasn't expecting to have my mind blown today. You want to know what I was doing today before I discovered Vtime? THIS. This is what I was doing. Purely by chance I decided to have a dial through the Oculus store on Gear VR to se...

Valentine's Day is a time of year for journos and bloggers alike to be sensitive to the fairer sex. In the middle of a holiday when the ladies are likely to be more active online, a misplaced word, borish sentiment or chauvinistic...

Remember when people looked at the hot mess that Steam was turning into with a sad, wistful look like they were watching the elves leave Rivendell, and then they'd look over at the Google Play Store and say "Well, at least we don't live in ...

Avengers Academy has beautiful graphics, a smooth UI, funny dialogue, an amusing concept, and and is roughly equivalent to showering in the rusty twat water of the Whore of Freemium Babylon. ...

It's all about ethics in ant simulators.  Developer Eric Tereshinski has resigned from Kickstarter-funded project Ant Simulator after discovering that the kickstarer and investment money for the game had been all but spent...

"Soul of the mind, key to life's ether. Soul of the lost, withdrawn from its vessel. Let strength be granted, so the world might be mended... so the world might be mended."  A lot of people who've never played a Souls game before...

Last night I was messing around with Bloodborne, trying to get all the chalice dungeons put to bed and Queen Yharnam taken to funkytown for my Four in February. Things weren't going too well. For a start, I'd spent the last hour lookin...

Downwell launched on iOS back in the heady mists of four months ago, and wow did it have performance issues if you had anything other than a top of the range device. The frame rate was about as smooth as Helena Bonham-Carter's thighs...

The Nuzlocke Challenge is a thing on Youtube at the moment. The rules are simple: You pick any Pokemon game. You may only accept the first Pokemon encountered in each location. You must name all your Pokemon. And when a Pokemon faints, that...

Ever heard of Markiplier? AKA "The King of Five Nights At Freddy's?" This game made him cry. Not "I want my mummy" crying either. He calmly removed the Oculus from his head with silent tears running down his face and said "I can't do this a...

"Hey, Tony the Tiger, I want to see if you have stripes under those shorts!" Said no-one, ever. Only this is the internet, so they did, on Twitter, at Kellogs' official account, and now the people who make the Tony the Tiger cartoons know t...

Well, it's that time of year again.  Here's a simple, bullet pointed list to (probably) everything you need to know in order to hold a conversation with the tragic man-child who still likes teh wrestling in your life. (S...

Why hello there, Mr. Ornstein.  No, there's no need to look confused. I'm sure you don't remember me. After all, why would you? I'm nothing special. No doubt I'm no different to the thousands of luckless undead on their way through...

Hey, everyone! Royal Rumble this Sunday! It'll be rubbish, won't it? Unless they book it like I think they should, because I know better. Also, some Power Rangers THING, so it's semi-on-topic.

When my beloved Android pocket rocket the Nexus 5 suffered death by pavement this week, I had two choices. Upgrade to the slimline, pureblood Nexus 6, or climb back onto the gas-guzzling ponderous juggernaut that is the Galaxy series. ...