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Will It Suck? the big screen Hitman

The movie is set to come out soon and commercials have been out. I even saw it advertised on a bus in all its white (really?) glory. But the real question here is, will it actually suck?


Plot: Agent 47 has been educated, from his genetically-engineered "birth", to become a professional assassin for hire, whose most powerful weapons are his nerve and a resolute pride in his work. 47 is both the last two digits of the barcode tattooed on the back of his head and his only name.

The hunter becomes the hunted when 47 gets caught up in a political takeover. Both Interpol and the Russian military chase the Hitman across Eastern Europe as he tries to find out who set him up and why they're trying to take him out of the game. But the greatest threat to 47's survival may be the stirrings of his conscience and the unfamiliar emotions aroused in him by a beautiful, damaged girl. [Via Wikipedia]

About the series & movie: I will admit, I don't know all the lore of this series. I have played some of the games and even own the second one, but other than that, nothing. What I do know about the series are the basics and what seems to be the stuff that cannot be left out of a Hitman film. These things are:

- Sounds British (at least not American)
- Not a "normal" man
- Pretty much works alone
- Ruthless hitman that gets the job done and seemingly lurks in the shadows a lot.

After looking at the trailer, ummm 1 and half out of 4 isn't bad, right?

Excusing the lore and the whole "falls in love with a 'damaged' girl" BS, a Hitman movie needs to be darkish and shrowded in mystery, like Leon (The Professional in the US). A lot of the scenes it looked as if he is walking around in the middle of everyone all the time. Where's the mystery? HIDE! I guess his shaved head, barcode on the back of his neck, and red tie suit helps him blend in though. Hopefully I am just reading too much into the trailer.

The more that I think about it, I don't have high hopes for this movie. I think another major turn off is the main character. I mean nothing against Timothy Olyphant, he did GREAT in [i]Live Free or Die Hard[/b], but he just is not 47. The best person to pick for this role is not him, nor Vin Diesel. Jason Statham would've been the best pick. He has the accent, he has the physique and physical abilities and he looks good with a shaved head. My guess is that after doing one sucky video game movie, he thought doing another potential sucky video game movie would ruin his career. Probably a smart move, but he should've done this one instead of "Dungeon Siege: In the Name of a Fart."

Of course we all know about the dumbing down or censoring of this movie, which is another concern. I will admit, if this is made like Die Hard 4, I think enjoyment can be found in this film. I mean who thought DH4 would be as fun as it turned out to be? But what are the chances of a comet hitting twice in the same place?

Potential of suckage: Moderate to High

Release Date: November 21, 2007
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About BlindsideDorkone of us since 11:46 AM on 11.10.2006

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