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31 Days - Day 4: Hail the Part Time Nightmare


Hello everyone and welcome to another installment of 31 days. Todays a song is:


Hail the Nightmare: Bloodborne

For those of you who don’t know I used to work retail, and I hated almost every minute of it. Between the unreasonable demands of the job itself to the equally unreasonable demands of the “holier than thou” customers I found myself feeling rather miserable. This was also coupled with a change in management that left us with worst assistant manager we ever had. She was primarily the reason why I left the Job to begin with. I guess I should thank her because I’m doing quite well now.

“But Agent9, what does this have to do with Bloodborne?” I hear you ask.

We’ll all that negativity has to come out one way or another, and it manifested itself into a strange headcannon I had for work. I would hear a song or simply muse for a bit and it would just form in my mind. In this specific case I replaced the Wal-Mart chant with this song, mostly because they would chant during a meeting that I was never a part of due to holding down 3+ departments on my own. I hardly ever knew what those meetings covered.

In my headcannon Wal-Mart takes a copy of Jack and Jill (or any other such Adam Sandler film) and soaks it in a pool of liquid that is actually the distilled joy of the employees who work there. They then sacrifice it to Sam Walton, who actually isn’t dead but has transcended humanity and has become Wal-Mart (all of them). If Sam is pleased he will grant you a boon called “The Subway Bonus”, which is basically a $30-$35 quarterly bonus that would let you buy 1 sandwich a day for a week at subway.

I got a decent chuckle out of this at the time. Looking back I have to say that music (and this song in particular) played a very big part in helping me cope with my situation. It’s really strange, that a song meant to induce a bit of fear would be the one to help me get through a bit of a rough patch in my life.


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About Agent9one of us since 12:45 PM on 04.13.2010

Who is Agent9? The not so secret agent of the destructoid community.

A Few things about me

- I'm almost finished with my degree in computer science and I plan on going into independent development and freelancing once I'm done.

- I can be very cynical, but I do try to be positive or curb my negativity. In spite of this I'm actually very jovial in person and I don't get mad often. I would dare say I'm quite happy, even when things seem bleak. I simply don't like industry Bullshit and I'm not one to stand for it, even if it's a game I like.

- I host a series annually called 31 Days where I post 1 horror related or themed video game song a day for the month of october. During this time I also provide keys for games (free of course) to any reader observant enough to find them.

- I've been a member of destructoid since 2010, and a lurker long before then. As such I've seen many people both come and go. Such is the natural order of things.

- I enjoy Art and draw in my spare time

- I also enjoy theatre and films. I especially like Horror movies (both good and bad ones).

- I go camping once or twice a year. I would go out more but my allergies tend to get in the way.

- I don't drink, which may be a surprise to some. I might make a joke or two about it but I stay away from alcohol for my own personal reasons, though you can feel free to drink a pint on my behalf any time you'd like.

My Top 20 Games (By the ever Illustrious Dango


This is a commission I had done for me by Inquisitive Ravenclaw. You should check out his site if you like the following piece

Link: https://theunknown1-arts.tumblr.com

I also got a musical piece made for me by the incredible Alphadeus. A little history behind this:

My musical piece came as part of the Songs for Gamers album DLC pack 02. Alphadeus has been making songs for the members of the destructoid community for years already. This past year he opened submissions and I applied. For my meagre efforts I received this lovely piece:

You can find him on youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFs2UhJYPVITYWCiqMk-z3w

He also has other venues listed on his profile here, take a look if you are so inclined:

The community is full of people with all kinds of talent and I'm very pleased to be a part of it along with all of you (yes, you too fair reader).