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The Actual Charlton Heston
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Happy and/or Merry Christmas, those who celebrate and those who have yet to abandon ship! It's been a year: one of laughs, loving, and turmoil, but Dtoid is still home, and y'all are therefore "homies" (sic). Stay golden, my many illegitimate children.


I refuse to quit on this place until it literally catches fire and burns my eyes from their fucking sockets. I ain't done until this place is ashes. Moyse is gone, and a tremendous blow that is, but he worked his ass off to give us this place. Honor it.


Hey hey hey, it's PatBateman's Birthday! And y'all know what that means: you have no idea. None of you would have guessed that I'm taking him out for bumper cars, arthritic hookers, and soft serve. Blind, the lot of you. Happy Birthday, buddy!


True to their word, Sony finally ramped up production just enough to ensure that a place exclusively for your grandma and her membership card have an embarrassment of PS5s. Everyone else can get fucked: Gam-gam needs her God of War fix.


Been playing through Enderal (A total conversion mod for Skyrim SE), and happened upon this song being played in a tavern. Truly blows me away, the level of detail poured into this thing. Such a special experience, and completely free. Highly recommended.


Happiest of Birthdays to our Papa Teeth, Occams. I've nothing clever to say, so I'll simply pile adulation on you, man. You're easily one of the funniest, chillest, wisest souls I've ever had the pleasure of bumping up against (and grinding on).


Age of Darkness has its hooks in me, real deep-like. Made it to the last phase. A valiant stand was taken against the endless, reasty nightmare hordes; over 8,000 slain as they crashed against the bulwark of my defenses. All for naught, but 'twas glorious


For my 300th Qpost in my 5 years here, I’d like to use this opportunity to say: I am honored to be here among y’all. This place truly is a refuge in an often dreary & draining world. Cheers to you all, and a hearty Heston hug, Dtoid. Keep shining.


Hi, I am alive, and this is a hot dog. It is grass fed, polish, wrapped in prosciutto, topped with guac on a bed of In-N-Out spread, seasoned with Lawry’s on a slice of Dave’s Killer Bread, and I am the President of Hot Dogs. Salute my meat.


Happiest of Birthdays to RiffRaff, he who both riffs, and raffs, presumably. I hope it's a great one, buddy. Always enjoy interacting with you. Here's an album that "slaps", as the kids say. Dance your pale, gangly ass off, bud.


Merry fucking Day of Days, you glorious turds. I haven't much to say, only that it's been an honor to be among you all for another year. I joined Dtoid almost 5 years ago, (On the 24th), and I can comfortably say that this is home. Warm, and full of dongs


Happy Birthday, Ves! Tender lovin', and hugs and kisses to you, from my swarthy, hirsute bosom to yours.


Interesting mechanic Midnight Suns uses for recruiting Spider-Man to your team. True story. Bold move, Firaxis.


Four days until I can be the best there is at what I do, and what I do is click on people on-screen who are wearing leotards and tell them what to do while I eat slices of beef with no utensils whilst using my wife beater as a napkin.


Happiest of Thanksgivings to my fellow Americans! Although admittedly a portly and uneducated country, we get one thing right: the slaying and subsequent sodomizing of the foulest of birds. May we ravage their number until none are left standing.


Watching through HBO's John Adams for the fourth time. Such a treat. The whole cast is immaculate; and Laura Linney especially shines as Abigail Adams, and is easily best girl, now and forever, fight me.


Gonna be a rootin’-tootin’ chicken lootin’ night, y’all. All I require now is an audience, sexy sax music, and a silk robe. Witness me, Mike. Bear witness to my ascension; my apotheosis. Draped in the finest chicken skins, I enter Valhalla's gate.


Happy Halloween, motherfuckers, from your ol' pal Heston, who is currently bare-chested and lathered with sweet, delicious corn syrup.


I don't mean to brag or anything, but I once farted so loudly that I scared my grandma, and I feel like I should be remembered specifically for that one feat, and nothing else.


About The Actual Charlton Hestonone of us since 6:46 AM on 12.24.2017

I'm actually Charlton Heston. What, were you expecting some purple prose? An overwrought introduction? Get off of my property, you filthy God damn hippie.