Rock Band 2 Tracks Get My Indie Dick Hard

I have never had any interest in rhythm games other than the original Frequency until Rock Band came out. This can be attributed to one thing: Drums. I've always found playing fake guitar to be boring, and I have the vocal abilities of a cat set on fire. But drums...fuck yeah. Of course, I lose my hegemony over the drum set the moment more than two people are brought into to fold, and I once again return to finding the game as pleasant as masturbating with a cheese grater. Thankfully, there are a few tracks on there I love enough to keep me from being a real douche at the party, although whenever Jet or Fall Out Boy comes on I sit outside like a starving war refugee hiding from the onslaught of aural genocide.

Being the poor mooching mother fuck I am, Rock Band 2 is already confirmed as the pinnacle of any future party atmosphere. The defining aspect of Guitar Hero World Tour, the music generation, has no effect on my cohorts, either because they just don't give a fuck or they already write music.

Having taken this into account, let me just tell you how fucking stoked I am on a few of these songs.

Master Exploder?

Bikini Kill's Rebel Girl?

Modest Mouse's Float On?

Dinosaur jr. doing Feel the Pain!?

The Who doing Pinball Wizard!!?

Rush's The Trees!!??

Sonic Youth's Teen Age Riot!!!!???

SONIC FUCKING YOUTH'S TEEN AGE FUCKING RIOT!!!!!!!



ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FUCKING FOOTBALL!!??

Knowing full well that 99% of the stuff Sonic Youth does is impossible to chart, my cock is pulsing with anticipation. Pulsing.

Don't get me wrong, I'd rather be listening to Hey Joni or Schizophrenia, but jesus man, that song. I cannot wait. Shit, I'll just accompany my friends on a real guitar while they play the bass and drum line while someone else sings vocals. Awesome fucking stuff.

Another cool addition to the set list is Boston Indie/Electronica band The Main Drag. What is not a cool addition is that they chose their worst fucking song to feature.

Also, I would've preferred a Modest Mouse song other than Float On, just because I'm kind of sick of it being THE Modest Mouse song everyone knows. That's not really anyone's fault though, so its rather pointless getting my panties in a bunch over it. But how badass would it be to do some stuff off Moon and Antarctica? Seriously imagine rocking out to Dark Center of the Universe. Imagine it, and realize that dream will never come true. Are you a little dead inside? I am.

But I'm too fucking psyched to mourn over my empty soul right now. Let there be rock.

On a side note, look at this:

Panic at the Disco - "Nine in the Afternoon"
Paramore - "That’s What You Get"
Pearl Jam - "Alive"
Presidents of the USA - "Lump"

Every band in this game that begins with a P isn't worth playing. Conspiracy? I'll let you decide.

UPDATE: This rendition of Modest Mouse's Float On by Kidz Bop is too fucking horrible to miss, and makes me forever grateful that Harmonix got the Master Tracks and not...this.



Goddamit Isaac. I know you need financial security but shit dude.