LONG BLOG
Phil is the most un-anticipated game this year...
In a move that has been described by some as breathtakingly brave, I have released a free demo on Steam for my upcoming game Phil.
The roguelike game tells the tale of an office worker who has been abducted and forced to take part in a sadistic gameshow, where he is made to battle his way through a handful of unique levels to earn his freedom.
Fight your way past a variety of ridiculous enemies, using a selection of even more ridiculous weaponry, including:
- The BlunderCuss, which loudly shouts expletives as it is fired
- The AK470, the Kalashnikov's humongous brother
- The Ray Gun, which fires stingrays instead of conventional bullets
Every weapon has an upgradable counterpart. You can also then upgrade yourself as you gain XP for killing enemies - for instance:
- The Beserker upgrade means all machine-guns dual wield
- The Martyrdom upgrade means you drop a grenade every time you dash
I expect Phil to be nominated for three Oscars, two Pulitzer Prizes, and a Nobel Peace Prize - although critics have not described the game as favorably, saying:
“Yeah, I suppose it’s a game, if you really want to stretch the definition of the word…”
And:
“If you contact me one more time I’m going to the police.”
While interviewing myself, I said:
“I really don’t want to release the game at all, to be honest, let alone a demo as well.
“Frankly, I think you should all just make your own games and leave my one alone.
“But my Mum said I had to share, so here we are.”
The demo contains just the one level, and does not have the story mode implemented. There are a total of eighteen weapons in the demo, although the final game will have a lot more. Like, at least a quazillion guns. Maybe two quazillion.
LOOK WHO CAME:
