The pandemic has been something that no one has been able to escape from. Most of us got hit with a myriad of realizations we needed in our lives. I decided to trust in a community once again after not being able to fit in anywhere nor with anyone I tried to, to good effects. Blogging saw me returning to share my thoughts by the magic of typing on a keyboard and reading other people's take on different subjects while being respectful revitalized my view on how we are indeed free to do whatever we want as long we accept all of us are a little crazy but need someplace to vent. For someone with depression and anxiety attacks every now and then Destructoid meant and continues to mean a safe zone where even something as trivial to some such as video games can indeed help someone. The following entry is by no means a cry for help or recognition if considered so, it is just a chronicle and a thank you note from someone who seemed to be lost.
Act 1: What to do now?
How do I blog again? Will the editor agree with me? Have I run out of ideas? All of those questions clouded my mind when I found myself with nothing to write thus failing to follow my so proclaimed writing schedule that no matter how much it worked back in the previous gaming site I was a part of, it was no longer the case here. Maybe it was the two-year absence that affected my writing as well as it affected me in social media as well, and that's the point. Being here and noticing how as long as one expresses their thoughts in Qtoid or blog form, one is doing something, and someone will be there to read what you have to say. Having come into terms with this, most social media I use saw a decrease in activity while I turned this space into one. Why? In here I can post a picture of my dog or even talk about how I didn't like a certain game and hate is out of the question. There are no qualifications to meet or trends to be a part of. One's own existence and ability to share are welcomed here.
Needless to say, the question in hand is still unanswered but no longer haunting me much. To understand one needs to have these little windows every now and then brings about peace of mind. The thought that time doesn't forgive anyone is scary as hell, but as I understood one can't do too much, I felt free to go at my own pace over here and in real life. I'm not hurting anyone, aren't I? And if that would be the case, that person would be me, and as with every mistake comes learning.
Act 2: #feelinggoodtoid
And I still feel like a baby here
Then why have I stuck for so long?
Because this I now hold dear.
I always miss the daily # posting
By literally not posting anything
However I enjoy the whole thing
Of coming together to share something.
Games, movies, you name it
A lot is permitted to be discussed
To talk, to be
If I need enrichment, in this I trust.
May the council
Forever grace what this is
A place as good as it gets.
Act 3: Continue?
Now this is what I wanted to tackle here. Will I continue to post here for the coming future? I don't even know the answer to such question. Don't get me wrong, being here has been refreshing to me not only due to the hard times we all are going through but, something I longed for almost two years. As it stands right now, working from home, teaching, playing video games, watching TV shows and movies is a routine that has kept me from going insane and preventing from depression take over. As long as I find something that helps me battle my worst enemy and at the same time grow as a person, I take that no questions asked.
For one year now, Destructoid has seen me through my highs and lows and while this is just a video game site, it is composed by people like me who in the end, are responsible for keeping this relevant and safe to others. As such, I can say that I will remain here as long as this keeps up, which seems to be the case.
I thank you, all of you for granting me a space to be myself.
Thanks for reading, this entry and every one I have submitted.