Do you ever get that feeling where a great idea enters your head, just as you're milling about the house, washing up or having a shower? Does that idea often beget other ideas, until these ideas teeming from your head become a vision for something you want to do? Does your excitement about achieving the vision in your head overwhelm you, as you imagine problems that might come up and become excited by the ingenious solutions that join with your vision, leading to yet more detail and depth to that vision?
But, as this creative gush flows, do you find yourself filled with doubt, not just about the idea itself, but your ability to deliver it successfully, but to do it justice as it glistens in the forefront of your mind?
Does that doubt consume you just as quickly as the creative exhilaration did? Does it suppress the creativity until you can barely feel it, as all you feel now is the sinking dread that you'll never accomplish these ideas as you wish you could?
You've chased these ideas plenty of times before, but they've never quite worked out the way you've intended. Your argument has tailed off and become diluted by your own provisos, becoming impactless. You feel that while the project has merit, your delivery is lacking, your choice of words doesn't reflect the feelings in your head and the performance of yourself reading these many scripts underwhelms you completely.
I do not for a second believe I'm the only one who feels these feelings. Today the creative gush transformed into doubt, as normal; however, today a third stage appeared. Frustrated urgency, a need to write my thoughts as they came up, and here we find ourselves. I have no idea if I will press 'publish' or not on this string of thoughts. I'm not even sure why I've put "Entry 1" in the title as if I believe I'll have to conviction to get this far again.
All I know is if I read this back, I'll talk myself out of posting this mind-spew. But I don't think that's for the best, because where does stepping away from the precipice once again get me?