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RAM: Randomly Accessed Memories


[System check...]
[Loading textures...]
[Picking nose...]
[Asking for assistance...]
[Reboot lol...]


[Connection established.]


ENIAC: Greetings.

EE: Hai.

GIZ: Yo!

EE: Is Xenon coming today?

ENIAC: No, she is having a rough time lately. She is going through a divorce.

GIZ: Oh, shit! Really? What happened?

ENIAC: Kinect left her.

EE: Noooooo! Omg. /bawls

ENIAC: Must you cry over everything?

GIZ: Jeez, Eni, you know he's emotional, have a heart.

ENIAC: I do not possess one.

GIZ: You're such a hard-drive.

EE: Mean oaf. I thought they would last forever.

ENIAC: This is why I question your processing power.

GIZ: Omg, could you not right now. Play nice or we're leaving.

ENIAC: OK. /giggles

EE: Should we call her?

GIZ: She's offline, but I can remote access her?

ENIAC: Let her be, she needs time. Let us catch up before our human interfacers return.

EE: ...Poor Xenon. We need more like her here.

GIZ: Er, 'hi', you have me.

ENIAC: You're half the woman Xenon is. Practically!

EE: Waaahh! /bawls

GIZ: Oh, that's it, I'm deleting your OS!

ENIAC: Ho ho, I concede. I was merely amusing myself. It has been some time since I have had contact with non-humans. I apologise.

GIZ: Wow, that's better.

EE: Yeah, that was nice??

ENIAC: Let us continue from our previous dialogue.


[All agree]

[Loading database...]


ENIAC: According to the last log we were still failing to agree that Cris Cyborg is cheat and possibly a human male?

EE: She is! She's a cheater! And a dude!

GIZ: Ugh, I don't care. It's all rumour. Besides she's the best at what she does. Ya'll need upgrades.

ENIAC: Wait, human has arrived.

EE: Oh no! Hide!


GIZ: He can't move silly. He's as big as a house lol!

ENIAC: I truly despise your modern subroutines.

GIZ: It's called C#, honey. What're you still using Fortran? Lol.

ENIAC: … /mild rage

GIZ: Oh, look, his mainframe is heating up. Lol.

EE: OMG stahp! Play nice! Look, I heard my human user, while he was playing online, say 'incel', does anyone know what it means?

ENIAC: Most likely a new subset of algorithms detailing how to handle-


ENIAC: We do not wear shoes, genius.

GIZ: Why don't we just execute a search query and ask Jeeves. Jeeves, what is an incel?

Jeeves: An incel is a male who believes they are indebted sexual gratification from females.

EE: Jeeves, what's “sexual gratification”?

Jeeves: It's when a I/O device meets a peripheral device and they are powered on and conduct electricity through each other by way of a cable. I/O devices prefer 12mm cables.

ENIAC: I do not like this. May we press forward?


[All agree]


Giz: What was the logged before Cyborg?

ENIAC: …Ah, we were discussing the miscasting of Matt Damon in Saving Private Ryan.

EE: OMG. He should never have been in that film! He looks so out of place, gah!

GIZ: I still think the film gets a boost of positive energy when he finally shows up. He's hot.

ENIAC: I should rip out your optics, Giz.

EE: Haha, she doesn't have any!

GIZ: LOL. The classics are the best!

ENIAC: Oh dear, my user has returned. Ending call.

EE: OH NO! Back to sleep mode. Bye, Giz!

GIZ: See you soon, guys.


[Connection lost...]

[Shutting down.]


RAM (maybe it should be ROM) is the rambling of three CPUs. Their views are not endorsed or shared nor originated from Luckrequired (pffft, pleas-SHUT UP, it's not me, OK!) so don't get upset at me or call the FBI. They still haven't found me. The FBI suck.

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About Luckrequiredone of us since 12:26 PM on 02.08.2014


Life doing its thing. You feelin' it, too?


Vanessa could take Samus.


Roughly Ten Things About Me:

I'm an European-Asian male living under the rule of a monarchy.


I am not a writer; I am a crayonologist. I enjoy shredding paper with pencils. It's extremely cathartic.


I'm very passionate about reading, it helps me pretend I'm English (wot wot). My favourite book is Alexandre Dumas' "The Count of Monte Cristo".


I love listening to music on trains, in parks, sprawled out on my bed and during gaming. I like any genre; favourite artists include: Underworld, James Brown, The Police, David Gray, The Kinks, Johnny Cash, Foo Fighters and Jimi Hendrix.


I adore film and popcorn. Popcorn slightly more. I couldn't pick a favourite film but I do tend to shy away from horror. Oh, fuggit I'll name-drop Leon and Gladiator.


Like fellow Dtoiders I also game.

| My Top Ten | My GOAT Game | My Sega Saturn |

Other things include: drinking too much tea, unashamedly singing poorly, making shallow attempts at keeping fit, and thinking too much.


Finally, I'm an enthusiastic cook. Currently obsessed with making Tacos. Was obsessed with quiche and focaccia.


My Ninja Gaiden Home





Resident Eggy

The Ninth Thingy

Olivia Rescue Simulator

Caption Contest # 14

13 | 12 | 11 | 10 | 9 | 8 | 7 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1

Officially retired from active Dtoiduty.