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My First and Last Day of Smash Bros. Club And Other Thoughts


This consists of an assortment of ideas of mine that are too long for quickposts, but too short and varied for a blog. Many of them are just thoughts, observations or jokes that were rolling around in my head. The title piece is at the end, so if you just want to swing by to hear a little personal tale, feel free to scroll to the bottom. Also, let me know if you’d like to see me do more of this stuff in the future. Anyways, enjoy.


The Darkness of the Soul

A nihilist stands next to me. Disgruntled with life, he says, “None of it matters. We’re all going to die anyways. Why even bother?”

Perhaps he’s right. None of us choose to come into this world. Life is thrust upon us with all the force of a hurricane, dragging us from cradle to grave, never stopping to allow us time to breathe. Why do we engage in an enterprise none of us chose? Why do we bother to set arbitrary goals for ourselves when our end is inevitable? I knew I needed to give him a proper response. A proper response to all those who mask their fear of death and failure with apathy and pessimism.

Git gud.” I said, and went about my day.


True Beauty

Walking across a bridge yesterday, I noticed fish swimming together in the clear autumn water. Their brilliant scales shone in the waning light of the evening sun. Their graceful movements reminded me of a peace I have rarely known. We should cherish when nature lets us view itself in such clarity. Then the question came to mind that always reaches me when I have once again viewed nature in its finest hour: How can beauty like this exist while Xenosaga HD Collection remains only a dream?


Satisfying My Desires

I tore one arm off. Staring at its bright red appearance under the light, I knew what I was doing was wrong. This isn’t what I was told to do, but it felt so right. I would take my time. Off came the second arm. Black and blue, it too needed to go so I could have my fun. I would store them away for safe keeping. No one had to know. Grabbing what was left of the body, I would take sweet pleasure in playing with it, touching it all over…

 VOEZ is best played with the Joy-Cons taken off, I don’t care what the trailers show.


My First and Last Day of Smash Bros. Club

I attended my college’s first Smash Bros. Club meeting of the year 2 weeks ago. I had always had acapella rehearsals during that time, but a scheduling change gave me the opportunity to attend. Finally, I could have some solid competition and make some friends also interested in gaming. I had never played Smash competitively or had interest in doing so, but like Sakurai I believe Smash Bros. is a party game first. Sure, I turn off items, Final Smashes, and mainly play on relatively fair stages, but at the end of the day I’m all about having good causal fun.

When I arrived, there were two monitors in the room, one an old CRT TV, the other a 40’’ HDTV. I was greeted by the two organizers of the club, who told me I could play at any of the two stations. At them were Smash Bros. Melee and Project M. I played both of them for a while with some of the other club members who came in periodically. Eventually I wanted to play some standard Smash Bros. Brawl, one of the classic games of my childhood.

“Can I change this one from Project M to Brawl real quick?” I asked one of the club organizers, “Me and the guys want to play a few rounds in a game we’re more familiar with. Honestly Project M is more of a competition scene type of game in my eyes. Some of these guys are pretty new to the game and I think they’d be more comfortable in vanilla Brawl.”

Both club organizers proceeded to give me a long rant together about how, “garbage” Brawl was and how it’s “too slow” and, “has dumb shit like tripping.” I ignored their hostility, which was clearly making the more casual members of the club uncomfortable, and loaded up Brawl anyways. We had some fun for a bit, but throughout the matches the two heads of the Smash Club would continuously chime in about how awful Brawl was and asking why we were, “wasting time playing that shitty ass game.” Things quickly fell apart, with guys disappearing every few minutes from how bad the environment was becoming. Eventually it was just me with no one left to pass the second controller to and the club organizers caught up in their Melee rivalry. I turned off the Wii and left the room. I wouldn’t be attending again.

The “Smash Club” was a complete joke. The organizers did nothing to make newcomers feel welcome, instead antagonizing anyone who wanted to play vanilla Brawl. They never tried to teach anyone advanced tactics or even welcome new members in when they arrived. I did those two things instead, and I wasn’t even part of the club!

I remember back when bringing a Wiimote to a Smash Bros. get together would get you laughed at and shamed. Now you get the same treatment just for wanting to play the game.

Where did we go wrong? 

- What are you doing sitting around reading books? Go outside and play a video game!

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About D-Voltone of us since 10:51 PM on 06.28.2012

I live in Hokkaido. This may possibly be the only interesting thing about me.