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Tales From the RimWorld: Season Three


It's time for a new season of Destructoid community members taking on the hardships of life after crashing onto an uncharted planet on the outer rim of the galaxy. As the transport ship was destroyed in a catastrophic accident, Dere, DinoSir (along with his faithful labrador Honky), and GetNekkid were able to make it to the life pods and hurtled to the surface of the nearby world. Let's meet our lucky survivors.

Dere is a hired assassin. He's beautiful and neurotic, giving him social bonuses, and increased work speed, but more likely to have a mental breakdown. As expected, he's great at shooting and melee combat, but he also possesses skills with plants, mining, and animals. 

DinoSir was in the military as a combat medic, providing him with great medical skills. His traits are careful shooting and too smart, meaning he takes longer to shoot but more accurately, and learns faster at the expense of a lower mental break threshold. DinoSir also has an aptitude for growing, cooking, and researching. 

Last but not least, is GetNekkid, the military engineer. He has traits of kind and jogger, making him able to improve the mood of others, and moving at a faster pace than everyone else. GetNekkid has fantastic construction ability and talents in crafting, with some minor artistic skills. 

The trio crashes in a temperate section of the world, and they find an area nicely protected by some small mountains.

Plenty of room and defensible.


GetNekkid gets to work on some shelter, consisting of a few small rooms with beds. Dere and DinoSir start planting some Potatoes and corn; they figure they might be in their new home for a while. It's not even the end of the day when another life pod comes crashing down, presumably from the same ship as everyone else. He immediately joins the group and introduces himself as Seymour. 

Seymour is a charity worker. He's a night owl, making him very moody if he's up during the daytime, and abrasive, which rubs others the wrong way in social interactions. As his childhood would indicate, his main skill is mining, which will come in handy with the amount of rocky materials surrounding the area. Oddly enough, his other highest skill is social, followed by cooking. Unfortunately, he refuses to partake in violence, which could be a liability in this situation.

A day later the group has another newcomer that crashed, as JCDent has been on the run from a club wielding pirate of The Cutters of Misery faction. The pirate attacks Honky when arriving at the settlement, but turns his attention to DinoSir and Dere when they come to the dog's aid. The two knock him unconscious quickly and take him prisoner. Perhaps he could be reasoned with and join the group. 

JC is happy to team up with people who aren't going to chase him around with a blunt instrument. He was a factory worker before this ordeal began. He is neurotic like Dere. His kindness will be welcomed by the other survivors, but his slow move speed could get him in trouble if he needs to do any further running from enemies. JC has very good social and crafting skills which will come in handy later on. He's not bad with weapons, and more capable combatants are always welcome. 

Due to the sudden influx of two more group members and one prisoner, GetNekkid constructs more bedrooms, and Dere plants some strawberries. The pirate prisoner gets a nasty infection while recuperating from the wounds provided by Dere and DinoSir, and dies a few days later. The only remaining excitement in the spring comes in the form of a mad squirrel attacking JC, who punches it to death, and a lone pirate of The Razors scouting the settlement. Dere, GetNekkid, and DinoSir confront him, and he attacks. Dere misses every shot with his pistol as the pirate viciously attacks with a shiv, cutting into Dere's right leg, DinoSir's arms, and scoring a hit on GetNekkid's neck before being killed. Everyone makes a full recovery. 

By the end of the season, each person has their own room. GetNekkid has been a hard worker, and has gotten a nice setup going. There's solar panels for electricity and lighting. A kitchen with electric stove is up and running, as well as a cooled freezer to keep food from spoiling. Lastly, he sets up a dining area where the group can sit and relax while eating together.


After the brief encounters with pirates, the group decides that getting some defenses together might be in the best interests of everyone. While starting work on a protective wall, GetNekkid comes across an escape pod with a badly injured survivor. DinoSir rushes to the rescue, and is able to get the unconscious man stabilized. Once awake a few days later, he tells everyone that he's a former general named GreenHornet and decides to stay. His combat experience as well as ability to construct things should prove invaluable.

While still early in the summer, a heat wave hits the colony, prompting GetNekkid and GreenHornet to hastily get air conditioning set up for at least the bedrooms. Tensions are running high, and both GreenHornet and JCDent have a breakdown, going on food binges. The cooler isn't exactly overflowing with food, so Dere attempts to arrest them. JC is not about to stop stuffing his face; he knocks Dere out, and then attacks GreenHornet in the dining room. GetNekkid tells DinoSir to pull Dere out of there, but DinoSir loses his grip on sanity and wanders out into the heat in a daze. GetNekkid manages to stop both JC and GreenHornet, but both of them end up losing a finger on their left hands in the crazed battle between them. With all the injuries happening, GetNekkid gets to work on building an infirmary the next day.

Tempers cool down a bit and wounds heal over the next few days. One morning, the calm is broken by a large pack of vicious, man eating... chinchillas. They swarm all over DinoSir, but the creatures are easily beaten down and killed by the group. DinoSir suffers from several bites, and JCDent receives a few scratches.

DinoSir tanking for the group against a not-so-dangerous foe

Once the rodents are dealt with and their meat fills the freezer, the Destructoid crew is faced with a group of tribesmen from The Green Desert Kin League Tribe. As they approach, sandbag defenses are hastily set up on the west end of the settlement. Dere gets into position, and realizes he forgot his pistol. (It was originally dropped when he was knocked out by JC)

3 against 5, and they have no ranged weaponry. 

The first one to approach is shot twice by GetNekkid, and drops to the ground. The second takes an arrow in the chest from GreenHornet, but continues rushing forward anyway. He's surrounded by everyone and killed when JC swings his longsword into the man's spine. The last tribal, who is a rather young man, turns to flee. GetNekkid gets carried away and shoots DinoSir in the right kidney, but finally gets the right target and scores a hit on the tribal's left leg. They capture him, and Seymour patches everyone up. The young prisoner offers to join up with Destructoid after only a day or so. 

The new recruit is called HypnoCoffin. He's a masochistic melee fighter who loves animals. The other skills he brings to the table are cooking and construction. He was an abandoned child, so he has virtually no social skills. Others can make up for that shortcoming though.

The last third of the season is relatively uneventful. Dere tames a pair of Muffalo (Muffaloes?), that will provide wool, milk, and can act as pack animals if the group ever decides to try to make a caravan for trade or warfare. A high tech research area gets set up, allowing the group to get some better technology going to improve the lives of everyone. 


Some good progress is made in the beginning of the season. Some boars are tamed, so more animals will be available for food in case things go bad, and there isn't sufficient wild game to hunt. GreenHornet is doing a great job of researching technologies, and gives Destructoid the ability to create hydroponics bays, geothermal generators, and automated gun turrets. GetNekkid creates defensive walls around the settlement, and creates some heavily fortified defenses at the main entrances to the west and south. Gun turrets and sandbag defenses will make it tough for anyone to get in. Once that's completed, he also builds a large warehouse with a comms console and orbital trade beacon, to get a makeshift economy going.

The settlers are very lucky to get the crops harvested, because a surprise cold snap hits that would have wiped out everything anyway. GetNekkid immediately gets to work and creates heaters around the various buildings. He then gets to work on a geothermal generator to deal with the new electricity needs. The timing is perfect, because an eclipse begins two hours before work is completed. 

GetNekkid is a construction machine, as he continues working. The next project he completes is a snazzy recreational room. It's got marble floors, a pool table, chess table, and some comfy seating areas for relaxing in.

There's no time to enjoy it, as the ground erupts in the north part of the settlement that is dug into the side of a small mountain. Destructoid has a bug infestation! There is a very large, menacing looking megaspider several times the size of any of the settlers, as well as two smaller scarabs that will still be a threat. Since sharing the space with these lethal creatures will likely be impossible, the gang hatches a plan to lure them away from their nest toward the gun turrets in the south. 

GetNekkid is the fastest runner, so he gets the megaspider's attention with a few shots from his rifle. He makes a break for the turrets where everyone else is waiting. The massive bug ignores the turrets pelting it with bullets and charges toward the far more vulnerable humans. In a frenzy, it tears into GreenHornet and eviscerates him. JCDent steps up and gets its attention, trying to hold it at bay with a sword, getting sliced by the claws in his legs and torso in the process. The otherworldly creature begins slowing down and is finally shot through the eye by GetNekkid's bolt action rifle. Once the immediate threat is ended, the survivors destroy the nest and seal up the hole. 

It's a very tough time for the settlers over the next few days after burying their friend. DinoSir has a mental breakdown and hides out in his room. On the last day of autumn, the group is surprised by a pack of eight manhunting deer attacking from the south. Dere, GetNekkid, JC, and HypnoCoffin set up behind the turrets, with Honky coming to help. 

Destructoid vs. woodland animals part two. 

The first deer drops to the dirt as its front legs are shot out from under it. The rest pour in and surround the group, with JC taking the majority of the attention. The deer are killed off one by one, but the settlers don't come away unscathed. JC gets the worst of it, with cracks in his jaw, ribs, spine, left femur, and sternum. Dere also receives a cracked spine from a deer kick. Poor Honky has his rear right paw blown off by a stray bullet. 

For their troubles, there is now a lot of extra meat in the freezer. As the season ends, spirits are low due to the death of GreenHornet. However, Destructoid is pretty well off overall. There is plenty of food to get through the winter. Defenses are pretty solid, and everyone has warm shelter and clothing. 

The settlement at the end of autumn

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About absolutfreakone of us since 1:25 AM on 08.06.2013