Have you finished Metroid Prime 3? If so, then please share your thoughts.

"The ideas asserted by Nintendo’s Metroid Prime 3 are that anyone can play. I, on the other hand, take Metroid seriously, and no, I don't think anyone can play it."

- Fake quote by fake critic, Anton Ego


Hopefully, this sets the tone for what I'm about to talk, err... rant about. I know the subject has been talked about to death (Especially here on D-Toid), but I plea for your attention for just a minute longer before we all move on to the next big game. This is, after all, the fall season.

Everyone knows the good points of Metroid Prime 3. Even if you've never played it, you know from reviews that it controls great, looks great and paces itself almost perfectly. And because we all know this, I'm going to pass on all the praise and move straight on to the criticisms. I know that what I say will mean largely nothing, but I'm still interested in your thoughts on it. Provided you've completed it, that is.

My only real request is that if you start reading this, please read all the way to the end. Otherwise, you won't find any redeeming qualities about this and you'll think I'm a total douche for shitting all over one of the best games in years. Everything that I'm going to say is only said in comparison to the other two prime games. On its own, Corruption is tits, all the way.

First of all, the difficulty. Or rather, the lack thereof. This has got to be, without a doubt, the easiest Metroid game I've ever played. The first two prime games took me over 20 hours to finish, killed me many times and required the use of a walkthrough for numerous sections. With Corruption, I didn't die once (I had it set on veteran), I never felt the need to look up a walkthrough, and I finished in just over 14 hours. Tallon IV was somewhat difficult, Aether was just fucking hostile, but the worlds in Corruption consistently held your hand. There wasn't a single spot in the game where I felt threatened by the environments, the enemies, or the bosses.

And speaking of bosses, boy, what a disappointment. Am I really the only person even the slightest bit disappointed by the bosses in this game? They're not bad, per se, but they certainly didn't go above and beyond. They all took place in identical rooms, had little to no personality and required absolutely no real strategy, whatsoever. They'd show up, and the goal was simple: Shoot them until they die. At least, that's what I did. I never had to use the morph ball, missiles, or strategize in any significant way. And don't even get me started on Omega Ridley; he was more-or-less an exact copy of Meta-Ridley from the original Prime! And even if you hadn't played the first game, c'mon, they show you that hatch open and close on his chest. Every single boss was a complete cakewalk, and with the exception of The Aurora unit at the end, they were (especially when compared to the bosses in Echoes) fairly generic.

Don't get me wrong, I understand why they put all of the bosses in the Leviathan Seeds - It fit in line with the story. But if you've played the original - or especially Echoes - then you know the difference a backdrop can make. As the say in the real-estate business, "Location, location, location". Hell, Quadraxis alone puts all of the bosses in Corruption to shame. It's just that, with the way they were set up, any feeling of dread or despair is completely lost; you know this is a boss room, you know this is a boss, and you know that its glowing red spot is a weak point.

I swear I'm almost done talking about bosses, but let me hold your attention on the subject for just one more moment. Take an Echoes boss, for example, like Amorbis. You enter the arena, and the three worms burst through the sand and attach themselves to a huge, black orb in the center. They'd burrow back into the ground and burst back out again, flying into the air. This was your chance to shoot them and break off their protective exoskeleton. One your broke the exos of all three, they'd once again attach themselves to the orb, and you’d have the chance to stun them, causing them to fall to the ground. At this point, you'd switch to morph ball and lay bombs - inside their fucking bodies! In contrast, when Helios shows up, just shoot him. He'll die. You're done. Congrats.

Alright, alright, moving on. The environments. The scenery in Corruption is good, with the best example being Bryyo. It's incredibly varied, and it's just gorgeous from top-to-bottom. From the spiky, gourd-like plant life, to the fiery depths of the fuel gel caverns, to the Icy peaks, Bryyo is teeming with life and personality. And the Pirate Home world really comes in at a close second. Man, was that place cool or what? It was better than that scene in Independence Day where Jell Goldblum and Will Smith fly to Mother ship. And, oh God, the lore there was just awesome. The only so-so area that I found was Elysia. Yeah, it was pretty, but it was largely the same. Just near-identical rooms strung together by grapple-lines, with the occasional unique room or section (Like the junction, or that great section when you discover the metroids) thrown in for good measure. It was by no means bad, but I thought it was easily the worst of the planets.

And speaking of planets, how is it that among two spaceships and five worlds, you still have less ground to cover than the single planets of Tallon IV and Aether? I certainly didn't expect each planet to be as big and the first two, but even after you add them all up, they still don't touch the sheer size of Tallon IV.

In the end, nothing I've said here really matters. No matter how much I manage to pick it apart, Corruption is a great game. However, it's only when you place the three Prime games side-by-side that you have something truly phenomenal. The Prime Trilogy is the fucking definition of the word "epic". Spanning across seven planets, and completely eradicating phonon in the end, the sense of triumph that you get can only be truly felt by those that complete all three games.

In a way, this is the everyman's Metroid. It's super easy to control, easy to play, and easy to follow. It's not necessarily truthful to say that anyone can play Metroid, but with this more streamlined style of play and mission-based objectives, a Metroid player can come from anywhere.

So what do you think? Am I just being way too critical, or is there some (or any) merit to this way-too-long rant?