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Tales from the RimWorld Episode 3


Hi everybody! When we last left Also Cocks, the group had just successfully fought off the Notorious Worms Pirates, who were quickly becoming the archenemy of Destructoid. Jinx and Dangus are in the sick bay, getting better from the gunshot wounds they took during the fight. Hlarge literally fell out of the sky to become the newest member of the not-so-merry band of settlers.

There were a few additions to the facilities of the settlement that were not previously mentioned. A forge was built to make some extra weapons if needed, or possibly to trade for other goods. Since the group was starting to accumulate quite a body count of pirates, an armory was built to house the extra weapons that were acquired from their fallen enemies and not fill up the storage area. Finally, a field had been set up to grow hay for the alpacas that were tamed.

Days 18 – 20

The days after the attack were relatively uneventful for everyone, giving a nice chance for wounds to heal and everyone to de-stress a bit. The medicine left over from the original crash was running quite low, which could be a problem in the coming days.

Jinx figured out how to grow devilstrand, a tough plant that can be harvested to make strong fibers for protective clothing. Unfortunately, nobody has enough of a green thumb to even grow it. He wanted to research medicine producing, but the limited capabilities of the research equipment didn’t allow for finding out quite yet. Since they couldn’t research medicine, the group decided on the next best thing: alcohol production. Might as well figure out how to get drunk if they are going to be stranded on some planet on the outer rim of the galaxy. What could possibly go wrong?

Day 20 ends on a sour note. Hlarge tries to put the moves on Morpho. It turns out she is not an easy chick, because she promptly turns him down, putting him in a terrible mood as he slinks away. Hopefully this doesn’t piss Zombz off, as I don’t really need my two best dealers of death at odds with each other.

Day 21

Autumn has arrived! Already there is trouble keeping enough food stocked. This Destructoid crew really loves to eat! Perhaps starting research on alcohol wasn’t such a hot idea when Jinx could have been using his brain to work on ideas on how to preserve food through the coming winter. Spirits of the group are currently low, and everyone has begun to hate the look of their furnishings. I guess they aren’t fans of all wood, all the time.

Day 22

Also Cocks receives a visit from a pirate merchant. Finally, a chance to dump off all that low quality pirate gear! The merchant doesn’t mention an allegiance to any faction. The group was a bit worried that he might be with the Notorious Worms, and would recognize that they were trying to sell him clothes and guns that were worn by friends of his a few days prior. Fortunately, he had no issues with the goods, and traded what little medicine he had for the excess equipment that was lying around.

Some boom antelope were moving in from the west. Not wanting to have any issues with them exploding near the buildings, hlarge headed out with a sniper rifle to solve the problem. He took aim, and fired at the strange looking beast. BOOM! The creature exploded violently, igniting the nearby trees on fire, which very quickly spread to everything around it.


Day 23

While the settlement was in no immediate danger from the now out of control fire, everyone breathed a sigh of relief when rain began to fall and doused the raging conflagration going on to the west.

With the threat of pirates, and now forest fires, it was maybe time to consider getting some stone walls up around everything. It was time to set up a stonecutting area to make the blocks in order to make this happen.  In the meantime, Zombz got to work on mining extra stone to use.

At the end of the day, visitors from the Youerentlior Traveling Alliance came by. They didn’t have a whole lot to trade, but they did have a few extra meds for sale. In other news, Jinx finished research on brewing. Just their luck, again nobody has the skills to grow hops. He began research on machining, in hopes of creating some firearms.

Day 24

Everyone not named Zombz and Morpho seems to be getting all rammy from not getting laid on this planet, because Dangus took a shot at hooking up with Zombz. The couple must be quite happy, because he turned down some extra action, prompting Dangus to do her now famous shtick of locking herself in her bedroom. Zombz decided it was time to lock things down, and proposed marriage to Morpho. She said yes! Love really is in the air.

Days 25-26

Alphabeavers have again moved into the area. This time, everyone with firearms went out to quickly gun them down, instead of tossing grenades about in the forest. This was a great boon to the food supply. Jinx finished up his machining research, and began work on figuring out how to make carpeting. He apparently had enough of everyone bitching about how their bedrooms look, and wanted everyone to be a little more comfortable. To continue with the theme of quality of life, plans were drawn up to make a rec room with a pool table.

Day 26 brought an early cold snap, not even halfway through the autumn. This could throw a wrench in the gears, since everyone had not quite ramped up preperations for the winter yet. Luckily everyone was wearing a jacket that provided enough protection to not freeze to death outside. The second batch of potatoes and cotton that were going to be harvested soon were beginning to freeze, causing a loss of over half the crops. As Dangus and Jinx scrambled to figure out how many heaters needed to be built, they realized they had enough steel to only build two. Zombz was sent out to mine steel like his life depended on it (and it kind of did). Meanwhile the sun was setting and the temperature outside was dropping to -15 Celcius. As Dangus began putting up one of the heaters in the sleeping area, Jinx for some bizarre reason decided to go work on the pool table. The guy is brilliant when it comes to research and building things, but seems to have no common sense.

 Day 27

Even the plants inside the bedrooms were beginning to freeze, as only two rooms had any heat at all. Zombz had been working his ass off all night, and produced enough steel to build vents between the heated rooms, at least allowing everyone to stay warm in the bedroom. The bad news was that Dangus was being a drama queen, and decided she needed to watch the sunrise instead of getting to work. Once she finally felt like working, she at least got the vents set up.

Day 28

I only now realized that campfires can be built for heat, so had them built in all the buildings around the settlement. With it being as cold as it is, Dangus and Jinx began to enclose more of the settlement indoors to minimize everyone’s time outside.

Enclosing more of the buildings

Zombz continued to mine, and this angered a nearby red fox, which pounced on him and bit his left leg. Hlarge was nearby and quickly gunned it down while Zombz limped back to get a little rest. He had done well in getting extra steel ready for building, and deserved a break anyway. Dangus and Jinx continued to build heaters and vents so that the campfires could be replaced indoors. Of course as the heaters are built, and night falls, the cold snap ends. Oh well, it's not like the heaters won't be needed in the rapidly approaching winter anyway.

Day 29

All this extra equipment was beginning to put some strain on the power grid, so Jinx built an additional solar panel and battery by the sick bay. He didn’t want to keep all the eggs in one basket, in case of sabotage or accidents. This line of thinking was put to the test later in the day when rain began to fall. He had forgotten to put a roof over the battery, and it exploded. As it was built away from anything flammable, the fire was quickly under control. He replaced the battery, this time with a roof over it.

Day 30

The rest of everyone was interrupted at 2 AM by the arrival of a man running for his life. He was a defector from the nearby pirates calling themselves the Suffering Partners, and the rest did not want him gone. Six of his former allies pursued him, all armed. As he reached the settlement, he said “Call me Rad Party God, please help me!” as he tried to catch his breath.

This could end badly.

The group was very fortunate that the pirates were approaching from the east, the only direction that could be considered defended. There were solid walls, and sandbags set up in front of the doors already. Rad Party God entered the settlement, and went to search for a weapon to defend himself with as everyone else took up positions at the sand bag barrier. Two of the pirates headed north, possibly hoping to grab Rad Party God while the other four keep the settlers occupied.

Right before the gunfire starts

It appears that Destructoid is initially at a disadvantage in terms of armaments. Only three of the defenders are armed with firearms, while the four facing them all have them. The pirates begin the fight at a distance too far for anyone to really hit anything, forcing the defenders to take the initiative. Dangus leads the charge with Unrest right at her side, followed closely by Morpho and hlarge. Jinx and Zombz rush forward a little bit to the south.

During the advance, Jinx is hit by assault rifle fire, hit in the stomach and left lung, but fights through the pain and continues forward. Stray bullets slam into Morpho’s torso, hitting her kidney and grazing her heart. She has no intention of dying here and also continues forward, behind Dangus and her heroic canine companion. Unrest reaches the first of the pirates, tearing into her arm, getting the attention of the four. Their concentrated fire puts nine bullets into the dog, dropping her to the ground with a wet thud.

Zombz came within range and opened fire with his heavy SMG, ripping into the closest pirate, destroying her torso and kidneys, killing her on the spot. Dangus, enraged after seeing her dog gunned down, rushes the next pirate, plasteel knife in hand, taking shots to the left lung and right arm as the knife hits home into the pirate’s shoulder. The other two pirates fire in panic at Dangus, but instead hit their ally in the back and head, killing him instantly. Dangus picks up the badly bleeding Unrest and retreats out of the fight.

Hlarge can’t get a good shot off with a sniper rifle during the battle, but Morpho hits the third pirate several times in the torso with her pistol before Zombz finishes him off with his SMG. By this time Rad Party God arrives at the fight, rifle in hand, and blasts the final pirate right in the gut. Jinx finishes the job, smashing his mace down repeatedly on the invader.

The other two pirates that had been working their way around to the north realize things did not go as planned, and try to flee through the settlement, heading south. Hlarge takes careful aim with his high powered sniper rifle, and lets loose with a shot that shatters the spine of one of the fleeing pirates. The other runs faster than he ever has in his whole life, escaping from the gunfire of Destructoid.

Everyone begins tending to the wounded, with hlarge standing in for Morpho as the most medically qualified one not badly injured. Unrest actually survives the gunshot wounds and is bandaged up. It will be a sad day indeed if that dog ever dies.

Late in the day there is a huge crash, as a giant chunk of a spaceship hurtles to the ground. It is made out of some strange material, and immediately begins poisoning everything around it. Jinx grabs some grenades, and heads out to investigate. Hopefully he can figure out what it is and can possibly blow it up. He starts lobbing grenades, blasting chunks out of the downed ship. He doesn’t realize some sort of robot killing machine has crawled out of the wreckage at the same time. It surprises Jinx and fires upon him, blasting the unprepared settler in the head and killing him.

Hlarge and Zombz rush out to the scene, unable to help Jinx, but still determined to take care of the crashed debris and robot. Their combined fire sends the robot to the junk heap, avenging their fallen friend. Hlarge picks up the grenades and finishes blowing the ship apart. They are sadly unable to bury Jinx, as his body is caught in the spreading fire of the burning wreckage. The two dejectedly return to the settlement to tell everyone the bad news.

hlarge taking out the ship as the fallen ally burns

That will end episode 3 of Tales from the RimWorld. Next time you can find out how the group handles their first major loss, and if they can recover.

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About absolutfreakone of us since 1:25 AM on 08.06.2013