Ask a Fanboy: Nintendo Switch Edition

Hello everyone and welcome to the first ever edition of Ask a Fanboy! In today's Ask a Fanboy, we'll be taking a look at the Nintendo Switch. Will it fail or will it soar? I don't know, but I bet there's a fanboy out there who does. So without further ado, let's introduce our fanboy for today.

In the blue corner, weighing in at a metric shit-ton of Nintendo loyalty, on a scale of Terry 309 to ShadeOfLight his Switch hype scores a solid 'ShadeOfLight'. Please welcome...ShadeOfLight!

Thank you, disembodied voice in the Cblog Editor. My name is Shade, and I'm a Nintendo fanboy.

Hi, Shade.

I've been a Nintendo fanboy since the GameBoy and GameCube days, and I've owned every handheld and console since then. I've played just about every mainline Nintendo games and most spin-offs to boot. Discounting Steam indie games, the vast majority of all my games are on Nintendo systems. I have attained the rank of Grand Marshall in the Nintendo Defense Force, and I've been awarded the official Medal of Valoo for my service in defending Metroid: Other M.

Sweet Jesus, you are a fanboy.

Darn tootin'!

So, as a fanboy, what's your opinion so far on Nintendo Switch?

This thing is going to blow the Xbox One and the PS4 out of the water, no question.

But the Xbox One and especially the PS4 greatly outsold the WiiU. What makes you think the Switch will be different?

It Switches.

...it Switches?

Yeah. It Switches. Totally.

...
Okay.
Moving on then. What about the Nintendo Switch has you particularly excited?

Well, it's a Nintendo console. That's a pretty big reason right there. But more specifically, I really look forward to being able to take any Switch game on the go or anywhere throughout the house. I liked The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD, and I liked The Legend of Zelda: Tri Force Heroes, but I could only play the former in front of my TV and I could only play the latter on the small screen.

But on Switch, I'll be able to play The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild on the big screen, yet also take it with me on the train or simply play it in bed. I personally don't like playing video games in the same position for long periods of time. The couch is fine, but sometimes I quite simply just want to lay down in bed for maximum comfort. With the Nintendo Switch, I'll be able to do that on the fly, and I won't need to distinguish between "big games" and "bed games" anymore. I'm also a big fan of being able to run Let's Plays on the TV while playing my own game at the same time. I can already do that with some WiiU games and the 3DS, but the Switch should make it that much easier.

Other than that, there are a few minor things. Always having two controllers ready to go should make it easier to play Mario Kart with my sister whenever I visit home. The Joy-Con controllers look like a neat blend of all of Nintendo's previous technology, and I'm still kinda curious about that updated rumble feature they mentioned. At the same time, they look completely functional as regular button controllers, and options are always good. I also always enjoyed the Wiimote + Nunchuck configuration, in that you could almost play games spread-eagle if you wanted too. So I'm quite glad the Switch will also support that, and now even without a connecting wire.

Essentially, I see a number of quality-of-life or pure comfort improvements in the Nintendo Switch. That may not be the most exciting thing to talk about, but it is easily what I'll be using the most, so it's worth mentioning.

And of course, no more region-locks.

That all seems quite reasonable, for a fanboy.

Oh, does it?

Shit, sorry. M$ sucks.

Thank you.

Are there still any elements about the console that have you worried? Have you seen anything you don't like?

No, none whatsoever.

I mean, it's entirely possible that normal people are a little wary about the battery life of the Switch screen. Three hours isn't very long at all, and it certainly means that it wouldn't last you a plane ride. Even at home you're probably going to want to have the charger nearby, and that's always somewhat of a hastle. Apart from that, any mildly reasonable person is probably also going to tell you that the seperated Joy-Con controllers are incredibly small. On top of that, the buttons and the analog sticks seem to be very close together, making for an even more uncomfortable grip. I actually have very small hands, but if I wasn't completely blinded by devotion I would tell you that I can even see myself having problems with that. There's always the Pro Controller of course, but 70 bucks is pretty damn steep for the non-fanboys among us.

I, however, have remodeled my house to look like a GameCube just so I could live inside of one of Nintendo's consoles. I also think the lunchbox design was a major innovation, because it made the GameCube that much easier to use as a blunt instrument. So I have literally no complaints about the Switch and I will smack anyone who does. I mean, it looks like a dog for crying out loud, it's literally perfect.

You say the Switch is literally perfect, but then again we will have to pay for online functionality now. Surely that's not a perfect state of affairs?

I don't like your tone. You are being passive-agressive and trying to trick me into admitting that Nintendo isn't flawless at all times.

My apologies, I'll rephrase. What do you think of the online functionality of the Switch?

At this time, I'm still taking a wait-and-see approach. I think we'd all rather have that online was free for every console. But this is what the market is right now, so the fact that Nintendo will charge for online doesn't immediately put it in a significantly worse spot than its competitors. However, we still need to see how robust the online is actually going to be and how many games are going to end up supporting it. I've never had any problems with the online for WiiU (Mario Kart, Splatoon, Monster Hunter, For Glory Smash), but seeing as it was free back then, I think we need to see a bit more this time around. Better leaderboards, better sharing options, more games with online support, better account managers. If paying a reasonable price will make the online functionality significantly better than I have no real problem with it.

I think it's also good to keep in mind that at least two online-heavy games (Mario Kart 8 Deluxe and Splatoon 2) will be coming out during the months in which Nintendo's online is still free. If you're like me and you don't have a great amount of time for multiplayer games not named Overwatch, you might even find yourself being 'done' with these games by the time Nintendo starts charging for the service. 

But until we know what the price is and what it's going to give us, I think it's fair to remain cautious. They can't just ask you to pay the same price as their competitors without offering at least comparable service.

So what you're telling me is that you're not sure yet whether the Switch is actually going to be literally perfect?

Look matey, what did I tell you just a minute ago? None of this Sony-bias trick question shit, alright? Nintendo is literally perfect until proven otherwise, and when proven otherwise they're still literally perfect.

Fine, whatever. Games then. Talk to me.

I actually think that the future prospect for games is the strongest aspect of the Nintendo Switch right now. The launch window is unfortunately scarce, but after that we have a number of games coming up in 2017, plus we've seen a number of games that are a bit further out.

The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild is obviously the big one right out the door, and I think it's easy for everyone to see why. But apart from that there are a few lesser-known or indie titles that will be out at launch that should be able to tie me over. The Binding of Isaac: Afterbirth+ will be one to watch for me personally. I haven't played BoI in ages, and I haven't played Rebirth or Afterbirth at all. Especially for addictive games like this, being able to take it out of the stand and play any way I want will be useful to me. Then there are things like I am Setsuna which I missed out on but I hear is quite great, and Super Bomberman R. I'm not so sure yet about Has-been Heroes, but I hope that Frozenbyte has gotten out of their rut of the past few years. If that's the case, I might check it out.

So for a weak launch line-up, I actually think I'll have a number of things to play.

But like I said, long-term game prospects are what I'm most excited about currently.

Mario Kart 8 Deluxe and Splatoon 2 are fairly soon; neither looks like a huge improvement over their originals, but they absolutely look like solid games regardless. I think my sister will be excited for Mario Kart battle mode, and the fact that I can easily bring it with me when I come to visit.

ARMS is also coming. I wasn't sold at first, but going by the Treehouse stream it looks pretty fun. I'm not sure yet if it's going to be fun enough and whether it'll have enough content, but it has my attention; in much the same way as a new Punch-Out! would have.

Super Mario Odyssey looks amazing to me. If there's one genre that I think has been overlooked in the past decade or so, it's the 3D sandbox platformer. At first it seemed like Yooka-Laylee was going to fill that gap, but with Super Mario Odyssey it looks like that space is going to be shared now. I think it'll be tons of fun running around familiar (New York) and completely insane (that weird turnip-world) areas, trying to collect everything that isn't nailed to the floor. We've been waiting for a long time since Super Mario 64 and Super Mario Sunshine, but I look forward to having some of that spark again. 

After that, there's a bunch of stuff we don't have solid release dates for yet.

• I'm a huge fan of Monolith Soft, to the point that I went crazy as soon as their logo popped up in the stream, so Xenoblade 2 is high up on my "DO WANT" list. Like most people I'm not sold on the new character design, but the world looks epic and stunning as ever and we also have ACE back for the music.
• Fire Emblem Warriors is something that a lot of fans have been asking for since Hyrule Warriors, so I'm glad we're getting it now. I just hope that it'll have enough Tellius representation, because Path of Radiance is easily my favorite entry in the franchise. I want to take Ike and Soren for a spin so badly.
• Project: Octopath Traveler reminds me of Crimson Shroud, in that its a JRPG set in a world stylized as real-life miniatures. I'm totally sold on the look alone, and I'm not one to say no to a new JRPG.
• Speaking of JRPGs, with two new Dragon Quest titles and a new Shin Megami Tensei annouced, it seems that the Switch will have no shortage of them for the foreseeable future.
• And then there's the new No More Heroes title. I'm not convinced that at this time it's even already in development at all, but it's one I'll keep my ears popped for.

In short, I already have enough to look forward to that the weaker launch line-up doesn't bother me so much. Although Nintendo really should be updating us on what Retro Studios is doing right about now.

So you essentially like every anounced Switch game so far?

Oh yeah, absolutely. They're all fantastic and way better than anything you'd find on your stupid CoD-box.

Even 1, 2, Switch?

Man, ESPECIALLY 1, 2, Switch. It has 'Switch' right there in the title, it's gotta be good.

I will say that 1, 2, Switch would've been much better received if they had made it a WarioWare title instead. There's no reason it couldn't be one. Still, you can't honestly defend this:

I can, and I do.

...
Fuck this, I'm out.

In that case, that's all for the first episode of Ask a Fanboy! If you have any more questions for someone with unmistakebly correct opinions about videogames, sound off in the comments!

And remember kids: if you like Microsoft or Sony, you are a despicable human being!

- Us heroes, we have so much to do

LOOK WHO CAME:

ShadeOfLight   

DeadMoon   32

Inquisitive Raven   30

Gajknight   10

JPF720   9

LaTerry   7

lewness   4

Retrofraction   4

Gmana   4

Sotanaht   2

AvtrSpirit   2

bry159   1