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James "JW" Walker aka MaximusPaynicus's Blog of Awesome!

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Has This Ever Happened to YOU?!

You're sitting in front of your computer, raining hellfire down on those unfortunate sons of bitches who dare to oppose you. Your left hand firmly working the Gamer Compass (WASD) while your right guides your crosshairs so that you may bring forth much death and pain. Finally, it's down to just you and one other son of a bitch Counter-Terrorist. You sneak around a corner to see him turning another corner. You can feel the kill coming. You persue him, rounding that corner to find your crosshairs landing perfectly on the unsuspecting hooker's back. You switch to your DE, steady your aim, and just as you click the mouse to fire...

...your screen minimizes to your desktop, and you find a flashing IM box from some emo-bitch named "my_slit_writst_bleed_black" asking you if you're awake at 5am.

You sit there, a mixture of befuddlement over her inability to read your away message clearly stating that you were playing CS:S, and your sheer desire to drive over to her house and smash a keyboard across her whore mouth. Taking a calming breath, you close her IM box and restore your CS:S game using the ever handy Alt+Tab feature. The window restores...

...and you're dead, your teammates screaming at you for being such a "n00b".

I know I'm not alone in this. I know there must be others who have been in the middle of a fierce battle online, only to have their game vanish because someone had to bug them with a stupid question/comment/etc.

Also, God of War banner. Because I rule.
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About MaximusPaynicusone of us since 3:44 PM on 01.27.2007


My name is James. By day I am a freelance copywriter and editor. While the perks of this job are getting to sleep 'til 2pm and working in my underwear, I've learned far more about hemorrhoid cream and proper swimming pool chlorination than I ever care to.

I guess you could say I'm a "former" video game "journalist" (though I wouldn't call myself the J word). I am the former Editor-in-Chief of Binge Gamer and I spent time writing at other blogs. I gave it up because while I love gaming and the gaming industry, I just didn't have the constitution to run my own business.

Not at the age of 23, anyways.

Let's see... apart from that I'm prior service US Army (Military Police), a stand-up comedian, a connoisseur of soft drinks and I once wrestled a cheetah.

I was victorious.
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