It's that magical time of year again, my lovely guys and equally lovely gals. E3 is right around the corner and with that comes some "informed" predictions from every major outlet with an internet connection. I've read em all and I can tell you these so called professionals are in for a treat when the actual show goes down. Let me school you up real quick on the 4-1-1 of E3 with my exclusive inside scoops. Are you ready? It's about to go down.
Nintendo Reveals that the NX is actually the once thought to be abandoned Vitality Sensor for the Wii
When reached for questioning, Reggie Fils-Aime stated "I'm not sure what everyone was getting excited about." When pushed further for as to why Nintendo is releasing a Peripheral for a discontinued system, Fils-Aime remarked "I'm not sure what Nintendo you knew, but my Nintendo always follows through on promises. That's my Nintendo way."
No Man's Sky is delayed indefinitely for being on the CIA blacklist
After a YouTuber, screen named FilthyBong69, blew the lid off No Man's Sky secretly being an elaborate system of drones with the intent of using players to spy on alien life forms, the CIA quickly shut down Hello Games' presentation and declared the game to be shut down indefinitely.
Mass Effect Andromeda is a pachinko machine
Taking a page from the Konami playbook, Bioware decides to rake in cash from the Pachinko fanbase in Asian territories. Director of the Pachislot machine, Mac Walters, assures fans that Mass Effect Andromeda will likely get a sequel machine.
Gearbox decides to pick up development for the vaporware title Star Craft Ghost; learning from the past with Duke Nukem Forever and Aliens: Colonial Marines, Critics already award it a 3/10
Given the rough history of Gearbox picking up projects, it was really just inevitable. When asked why Gearbox continues this pattern of self harm, founder Randy Pitchford stated "Somebody has to do it!" Frothing at the mouth, Pitchford swung at the local beat reporter with a cardboard standee from the 2016 game Battleborn.
This guy comes on stage and shouts "Titanfall 2" and then the presentation goes into the Peggle 3 promo
I'm just as surprised as you are.
There you have it. These 5 events are guaranteed to happen at E3 2016.