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Shut Up and Pay Your Fucking Nintendo Tax


I’ve seen it for at least 15 years, I don’t think it’s as pronounced on this site but it never ceases to amaze me how forgetful many gamers are at the dawn of a new Nintendo system. Let me expand.

I think the first time when I noticed this attitude toward a Nintendo console was little bit during the Nintendo 64 era, but it was really pronounced the second round with the Gamecube: People would talk a lot shit about Nintendo, watch it die and shortly later sing its praises.

I can’t be the only one who’s noticed this.

The absolute worst was the Gamecube; remember the shit-talking that happened there? If you’re old enough to remember, “Luigi’s Mansion!? Pikmin?! Mario?? Those games are for babies!”

“What about Melee?”

“Yeah, but that’s all Gamecube has.” They declared. And you could try to make your case for the Gamecube but they wouldn't hear any of it, run off and play their PS2 games with ‘awesome graphics!’ They couldn’t be bothered with Nintendo’s shitty games made for ten year olds.

Next thing you know, these same ‘core-gamers’ would then turn around once the dust settles and say something like, “Yo, you know, the Gamecube was actually sick. It has Tales of Symphonia, Super Monkey Ball, Wind Waker, Skies of Arcadia, Sunshine…” etc etc.


Where the fuck was all this when you were busy stroking away with Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3, Guitar Hero 2 and Call of Duty World at War? Where was all this support as you watched the console die on the shelves? I’ll never understand this phenomenon. Then these same geniuses are running around the country looking for copies of Animal Crossing and Ikaruga because they were too dense to pick it up for the Gamecube when it mattered.

Boy oh boy, look how dumb we sound now. “Gamecube was the best, back when its controller was normal. Nintendo should make another system like that.” Well, that’s weird I actually remember quite vividly people making fun of the Gamecube controller, granted not as much as the first Xbox controller before the Controller S, but man oh man, did they marginalize and dismiss that purple toy or what.

So all the core gamers, start scavenging flea markets looking for the 30 good games on the Gamecube, not learning the errors of its ways, later, the Wii comes out and now the whole conversation repeats itself. “Look, I don’t wanna start swinging around a controller, I just wanna relax and play a game on the couch comfortably, k.”

Of course, you can bring up Twilight Princess, Zac and Wiki, or Galaxy but they’re not hearing any of it. All that comes out of their ignorant face is, “Man, my Wii has just been gathering dust. It’s a gimmick bro.” And did we ever hear about the dust. From the sounds of it, every Wii on earth was an impulse purchase destine to gather dust. Because that’s what Wii’s did in 2010: gather dust. Nothing else. Even every single game review that came out for a new game on the Wii was always the same, “Donkey Kong Country Returns may be a good reason to dust off the old Wii.” More geniuses.

So now, the Wii has finally died, and of course we have the core gaming community running back to Nintendo’s defense. “The Wii wasn’t that bad. There was Trauma Center, No More Heroes, Xenoblade etc etc.” The fatigue of this type of crap is unbearable.

But I’m writing all of this because the this scenario has reach a critical fever pitch with the Wii U. This system, not so much on this site from the looks of it, gets dismissed hard.

Granted, it doesn’t look too nice for Nintendo right now on the face of it. It’s simply getting overshadowed by prettier consoles with more mainstream appeal but right when everyone’s opting out of the Nintendo console bandwagon, I can honestly say that, we are seeing some of the best games ever released from Nintendo (probably in no small part to the amount of pressure they’re under, to hold up the system single handily).

The Super Smash Bros on the Wii U is the best one out there by far. The balance and the expansiveness of the game has been perfected. This game alone is the true sequel to Melee and nothing comes close.

And addition to that, you have Donkey Kong Country Tropical Freeze that is just masterful. It legitimately feels like a true sequel to the SNES classics with a sound track composed from the great Dave Wise of the original games.

You have Super Mario Maker that has taken the gaming world by storm. Finally allowing gamers to challenge each other with their own levels for hours of entertainment.

There’s Mario Kart 8, which is the best Mario Kart in history and the most expansive, like Super Smash Bros.

And  finally, there’s Xenoblade X, Star Fox Zero, Bayonnetta 2, Splatoon, Pikmin 3, Super Mario 3D World and for those who care, Yoshi’s Woolly World, Kirby and the Rainbow Curse, Poken, Hyrule Warriors, Captain Toad and of course, Wonderful 101 plus many more.

What we have before us is about 20 solid games, not including the exclusive indies that make use of the game pad, that a Wii U owner can sink hundreds of hours of gameplay into but mark my words, we’ve got about maybe two years until the same group of idiots stubble back and say something like, “You know, the Wii U was actually an amazing system. I love the Wii U.”

There’s absolutely nothing like a well-made Nintendo masterpiece and the talent it inspires. What I’m advocating today is not charity but a mirror to see the errors of our ways. Don’t be one of those people, don’t be one of those idiots whole support Nintendo when it’s too late. I’m tired of people not participating in the Nintendo cycle when it matters and wasting everyone’s time talking about how underrated The Last Story was. Play Nintendo games, they are for the most part, the pinnacle of the industry. Nintendo is the backbone of gaming whether we like to admit it or not. Pay that Nintendo tax, support great game design, stay relevant and appreciate what you have when you have it or look foolish trying to keep up and hurting quality games in the process. Sorry about the rant, I’m just so done with these people.

Here’s hoping for No More Heroes 3.

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About Chris Bradshawone of us since 5:16 PM on 02.06.2008