Author’s note – Long time no see! This piece was originally run on TAY (yes, the Kotaku TAY) by me in July 2013. And yes, I did get around to playing Borderlands 2 eventually.
Gearbox Software is known for 2 types of games, good ones, such as Borderlands, Borderlands 2, Half-Life Opposing Force, and Half Life Blue Shift.
They are also known for unspeakably horrid games such as Aliens Colonial Marines and Duke Nukem Forever.
But what brings these 2 types of games together, you ask? I've noticed when I'm playing a Gearbox game they always seem to share one aspect together - the welding torch.
The first time I noticed a Welding Torch in a gearbox game was when I replayed the saga of Half-Life 1 games. In the expansions for Half-Life, (HL-Blue Shift and HL-Opposing Force) they both have welding torches. I didn't think much of it until Borderlands.
I was around level 30 when I was completing one of the Jaymistown missions in New Haven. The mission was to find a mysterious container.. But after I redeemed the mission for sweet, sweet EXP, a Mutant Midget Psycho used a... you guessed it, Welding Torch to cut open the container. I still haven't gotten around to playing BL2, so I don't know if gearbox's welding torches are in that game or not.
Finally, this comes to an awkward conclusion with one of the worst games of 2013...
I picked this pile of Xenomorph dung at the Steam Summer Sale, regrettably, out of curiosity. It really IS BAD! Well, I found out gearbox had went ALL-OUT on welding torches... every single damn door has to be cut open while my back was being sliced with Xenomorph claws. Fun.
Anyway, this comes to a close with Gearbox and their welding torch fetish. If I missed any leave a comment. Thank you, and please don't buy bad Gearbox games. Seriously. I will find you and hunt you down if you buy horrible gearbox games.