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LONG BLOG

Slashy Souls is GREAT!

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Chris Carter wrote the Slashy Souls review that Destructoid needs right now. Here's the one it deserves.                                                                                                                                                                                                    

I feel like I just killed Solaire again. 

I feel like I'm standing over Siegmeyer's corpse. 

I feel like I'm watching my favourite pub burn down. 

I feel like I just lost Celes, General Leo, Nei, Aerith and Schala all over again. 

I want to breathe smoke. 

Pour away the oceans and sweep up the wood, for nothing, now, can ever come to any good. 

Rage, rage against the dying of the Age of Light. 

First Tap My Katamari, and now this. 

There is no joy in Lordran, the chosen undead has struck out. 

I feel hollow. 

I feel like I'm standing here with this game in my hand, without really knowing why. 

I feel like this is the smallest piece of the Dark. 

I look up to the moon, and it's a Paleblood sky.

I died.

Now I'm just ichorous earth.

"Nevermore."

I want whoever made this to be murdered painfully, so that the world might be mended, so that the world might be mended.

Now we are all sons of witches.

The day the music died.

Beware. He comes.

Ḫ̱͔͇̻e̖̜̫̺̤̗͔ ̞̬͔͉̞̺w̗̯̬͎̭͖̼͡ḥ͎̩͕̮o͈̩͉̪̙͙ ̬̱w҉̤͙̩͎͖̲a̧̙̦̫i̭͇̖̱͍̗̱t̼̱̬s̢̥̗̳̗ͅ ̕b̲̫ͅḛ̣͈ͅhi͓̝̫̮͔̱͍n͍̼̮͉d̨̻͔̞̮̪̺̫ ̛̼͍̟̼ͅt͏̲̪h͖͓͝e͍̤̣͍ ̫̥̼̪̤ͅp͚̻a̡͔y̜̩̘̮̗̱̮w̪a̵̩͈̺͎̰̭͎l̸̜͙l̥͙̗̞̥̤͠ͅṣ̝ͅ.̲͚̪͝

Ń̴̢͇̜̜͚̹̖̳̮͈̮̗̕͟A̝̼̞̞͓̕͟͝͞͞ͅM̴͙͎̜̬̟̹̺̣̯̜̗̘̝̤̩̖̼͠͝C͉̩̦̭͍̥̟̱̖̀͠ͅO̵͕͔̠̥̮̠̖̖̖̗̝̟̱̤̰͠ͅ

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About Dalek Sexone of us since 3:11 PM on 02.27.2013

Z list internet comic. I have worked on stuff for podcasts like What A Fool Believes, We Are The Lolocaust, The Monday Movie Show and The Gamescast. I named myself while I was blogging for Tachyon TV. There is a Dr. Who character called "Dalek Sec," only I made it a penis joke. Witty.

I have a Youtube channel where I play terrible mobile games. Sometimes I write and sing funny songs, like the Tailspin theme I rewrote to be about Jonathan Holmes.

Every print magazine and most of the websites I have ever written for have collapsed pyrotechnically within months, making me the Typhoid Mary of games journalism.

I used to write and manage the front page of Encyclopedia Dramatica when it was still good (pre-2008).

I got fired from NTSC-UK once.