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LONG BLOG

Downwell Android Review

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Downwell launched on iOS back in the heady mists of four months ago, and wow did it have performance issues if you had anything other than a top of the range device. The frame rate was about as smooth as Helena Bonham-Carter's thighs, and even though it reportedly later received performance fixes to mend it for older devices (MEMO TO ALL STAFF: IPAD MINI 2 IS NOT AN "OLDER DEVICE," LIKE YOU WERE RUNNING THE GAME ON A FREAKING MSX), it was enough to put me off everything but the Steam version.

Now, however, Downwell has been brought to we happy members of the glorious Android master race, and seldom have I had so much fun putting myself down a confined space. (That's a complete lie, but that's sort of the joke there. SHUT UP IT'S WITTY)

If you've never played Downwell, the gameplay principles are simple. Jump down a hole. Shoot downwards to kill monsters and slow your descent. Bounce off monsters to refill your ammo. Red monsters cannot be shot and must be jumped on. Every level presents randomised power ups. Procedurally generated levels, Spelunky-like structure, blah blah blah. The video above will give you a quick idea of what to expect.

The headline here is that Android Downwell runs at a silky pace straight out of the box, and it's just as marvelous as its Steam counterpart. Some (me) might have problems with the touch screen controls, but playing the game with a Bluetooth gamepad (I used the MOGA Power Pro) is sheer bloody magic.

If you've never experienced Downwell and you have a phone, now is seriously the time to find out why it was widely praised as one of the best games of 2015. It was a rip-roaring, silky smooth piece of gaming heaven then, and a few months down the line it's still as wonderful as ever.

TRIGGER WARNING: SPOOKY SCARY SKULLS #2spoopy

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About Dalek Sexone of us since 3:11 PM on 02.27.2013

Z list internet comic. I have worked on stuff for podcasts like What A Fool Believes, We Are The Lolocaust, The Monday Movie Show and The Gamescast. I named myself while I was blogging for Tachyon TV. There is a Dr. Who character called "Dalek Sec," only I made it a penis joke. Witty.

I have a Youtube channel where I play terrible mobile games. Sometimes I write and sing funny songs, like the Tailspin theme I rewrote to be about Jonathan Holmes.

Every print magazine and most of the websites I have ever written for have collapsed pyrotechnically within months, making me the Typhoid Mary of games journalism.

I used to write and manage the front page of Encyclopedia Dramatica when it was still good (pre-2008).

I got fired from NTSC-UK once.