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I Ain't Mad


I ain't mad. Just crazy.

I spent three solid days playing Final Fantasy VII upon release. Three days of bloodshot eyes, dehydration. Eventually a bit of depression. You just shouldn't game that much, and I haven't since. It isn't healthy.

There was a computer class I was in during the months leading up to the games original release. And in it, I spent a good week looking up and printing out pictures of all your favorite Final Fantasy VII characters. Blonde haired man, black guy, girl who dies, and cat number 1 AND cat number 2. I pinned them up on my wall. And then my mom got mad at me for putting pinholes in the drywall. Boy she was mad.

I was a little mad too. When they announced that Final Fantasy VII Remake (best name ever, objectively) was going to be split into parts. That it wanted more of money. But then I wasn't mad. Because I remembered something; I haven't sat through a Final Fantasy start to finish since VII because in my opinion, they just aren't all that compelling.

Holy shit, right? I know everyone wanted to suck the dick of Final Fantasy IX. I know it was like, apparently the best thing ever. But no.

So I am not MAD about the FF7 remake being what it is. I have beaten the original many times, and still love it very much. But I don't think it is sacred. And I didn't expect a remake to just be the same thing with better graphics, ever. Would that have made SENSE and sold MILLIONS and made TRUCK FUCK LOADS OF MONEY? Yes. But Square is a company in my opinion that is so frankly out of touch with everything that a move like this actually makes MORE sense in context to their track record of "fucking up." Quoted because really, they are still a successful company with successful games no matter how many jaded fanboys accuse them of shitting the bed.

I don't like what they do. I haven't given a rat fuck about them for years. So I am not mad at what they are doing to the remake of FFVII. I'm a little crazy because they've made me crazy. Because every time I think of where Square has ended up, I feel like I'm trapped in some Blue Velvet Twin Peaks mind fuck pseudo world where DADDY WANTS TO FUCK PRETTY PRETTY and I have no idea who I am anymore and it feels like a fever dream where your teeth keep falling out and you try to eat them in the hopes that they will stay in your gums. It's fine, it's all fine, but man is it ever strange.

Square is just...fucking weird, man. That's all.

I just don't feel like I know them anymore. So if they want to remake Chrono Trigger and make it a racing simulator where you are Lucca trying to put together better vehicles to race Johnny well, then...

I mean that would be the best thing ever probably.

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About Joel Petersonone of us since 8:14 AM on 11.07.2013

I write the things other people don't write, with liberal fart jokes thrown in for good measure. I like old games, old computers, old consoles, and old pizza.

Here are some blogs what I done did and were promoted to the front page.

Location: The Cold And The Beautiful

The Great Quest of Stupid

Fathers Day

I Have No VR And I Must Scream