LONG BLOG
Fragile game developer says they can no longer handle Destructoid reviews
Wiping a stream of tears from her his cheek, New Jersey gamer Claudia Bennet video game developer Jools Watsham confirmed today she he can no longer deal with reviews from Destructoid.com.
"I just don't understand," Bennet Watsham cried while clutching her his copy of Fallout 4 Dementium: The Ward. "Why... why don't they like it?"
Bennet says she was already struggling to get by after Halo 5: Guardians only managed to score a 7, but it was yesterday's double punch of Fallout 4 and Rise of the Tomb Raider reviews that pushed her into a catatonic state she has not been able to pull herself out of.
Staring longingly at her his half empty bottle of Smirnoff Ice what is most likely a locally sourced, small craft beer that only uses organic ingredients, Bennet Watsham was barely able to put words together as her his heart slowly drowned in the sea of emotions flowing through her his body. Though her his vision was blurry from the tears, she he attempted to read other reviews in the hope they could repair the bubble of blissful ignorance she had built for herself that met his own personal criteria of what is considered "professional".
"I just... I mean... IGN NintendoLife gave it a 9.5 7. Why can't you be more like them?"
After tearing through three boxes of Kleenex, Bennet Watsham vowed to never again visit Destructoid; at least until it gives Xenoblade Chronicles X Treasurenauts a 6.5 9. Only then will she he return to leave one final angry comment on the site before curling into the fetal position and slowly rocking herself into 2016 take positive reflections of the game to use as quotes in advertisements.
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