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The Fifth Dimension

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Old Man Murray, You Are Missed


(Sorry for bumping this, but the formatting went all screwy when someone made sneaky but not unexpected edits to my post. Being the anal retentive bastard I am, I couldn't leave it alone.)

NOTE: Some of the links in this blog are NSFW.

Far back in the distant past, when terrorists in movies were still allowed to be middle eastern and Jack Thompson was known mostly as that guy who hated rap music and thought he was Batman, there was a gaming site known as Old Man Murray.

Old Man Murray is best remembered for verbally raping nearly every game and personality in the industry. Any idiot with a laptop and internet connection can do this, but few were able to do so with such hilarity. I often wished I was even one-tenth as funny as site writers Chet Faliszek and Erik Wolpaw. I also often wished for a robot unicorn that would bake pizzas for me, but that didn't happen either. Thanks for nothing Jesus.

Some of Old Man Murray's more notable accomplishments include:

- Popularizing the scientific theory (later confirmed as science FACT) that all women's vaginas are filled with centipedes.

- Failing to create a video game version of The Warriors, letting a little-known company named Rockstar pick up the ball.

- Revealing the truth behind who killed adventure games. (Protip: adventure games became an hero.)

- Proving the U.S. Secret Service is doing an excellent job protecting the President.

- Singing the praises of a humble game developer named John Romero and his beautiful, beautiful hair.

- Giving an up and coming comedy writer named Seanbaby web space, ensuring in later years that EGM would be able to fill two pages an issue with dick jokes.

- Establishing a new review system that judged a title solely on how long it takes before you see a crate in-game.

- Selling out to the Japanese at the first chance.

And much, much more.

Chet and Erik eventually stopped updating the site, and currently work for Valve Software removing as many crates as possible from the upcoming Half-Life 2 episodes (coming to gamers soon) and handling writing duties for Portal. Erik also co-wrote Psychonauts with Tim Schafer, which is an excellent game more of you should have played.

If you've got a free evening and a few drinks in you, take some time to go through their archives. You won't be disappointed, and if you are then don't talk to me anymore.
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About Mxyzptlkone of us since 11:08 AM on 11.10.2006

Aaron "Mxy" Yost was an admin for the Dtoid Forums, and hosted/produced the Radio Destructoid podcast with some of the other Dtoid community managers. He also has a dark secret that must never be revealed, lest the world be split asunder.

Pronunciation: "Miks-yez-pit-lik" Most people just pronounce it "Mixie" for short.

I'm a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma; but perhaps there is a key. That key is Russian national interest.

I am a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

I'm not sorry for the things I've said. There's a wild man in my head.

I am two with nature.

I'm a bird who doesn't sing because I have an answer, I sing because I have a song.

I mostly come at night... Mostly.

I'm an alligator, I'm a mama-papa coming for you.

I'm the space invader, I'll be a rock 'n' rollin' bitch for

I'm like, you know... this guy.

You should listen to Radio Destructoid! It's the best podcast ever, except for those other ones that are better.

Ben and I make videos. You love them and want to subscribe to our YouTube channel:

FOOTBALL!!! Blitz: the League 2 Destructoid contest
Left 4 Dead: Interview with a Zombie
Resident Evil 5: A Lesson In Tolerance
Maniac Mansion: Requiem For a Hamster
Castle Crashers Outtakes (Terminator Contest)
Left 4 Dead 2: Interview with a Zombie 2
L4D2 Interview 2 Outtakes
Using Adrenaline in Left 4 Dead 2
The Man-lympics
The Man-lympics Outtakes and Bonus Footage
The Package
Project Mario Vlog: Episode 1
Project Mario Vlog: Episode 2

You can also listen to our ravings about geek culture every week on Airport Road: The Podcast!

My Web 2.0s:
Guitar Hero
Rock Band

Licensed Games That Don't Entirely Suck:
#1: DuckTales
#2: Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers
#3: The Super Star Wars Trilogy
#4: The Dungeons & Dragons Arcade Games
#5: The Warriors

Wii Code: 8534 9943 5696 5337
SSB Brawl Code: 2750-0776-6751
Mario Kart Wii Code: 2363-6044-4563

Much love to domataos for my cblog banner, itemforty for my avatar, and The GHost for my DToid card, as well as every single Dtoider out there for helping to make this the best community on the Interwebs.
Xbox LIVE:MrMxyzptlk123
PSN ID:MrMxyzptlk123
Steam ID:MrMxyzptlk123
Mii code:8534 9943 5696 5337


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