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the amiibocalypse: PART Ω


It was bright. Bright, white landscape stretched out as far as the eye could see. Occasionally, a giant would pass, dressed in the bright and colorful garb of their people. A marvel to behold, but not a threat to those of smaller size, going about their business or taking a moment to observe the titans that they shared the land with.

It just so happens that the protagonist of our little tale tale is one such observer. A quaint, portly gentleman, the man was one of few words, but the strongest character. He was known for being reliable, friendly, amicable... Truly, the best sort to seek out if you were in the business of looking for a friend. Today, though...?

He was staring. Long and hard. Staring, you see, it was becoming his pastime. Oh, the things one could see, the things one could learn if they just... stared.

Yes, yes... He did a lot of staring, a lot of... watching. It was all he could do. It was all he had. Staring, that is.

Such a strange situation, really. The world around him felt like it was a show, put on for his amusement at all hours of the day. It was a show that went on for every day as well. What a treat indeed! Was he blessed? At least he would never have to change the channel!

Was this what living at the zoo felt like? Always watching the animals at play, getting to see them in their "natural" habitats... You see, my friends, he had never had much chance to go to zoos before, much less...

Wait. Hold on. This is a strange outlook, isn't it?

He was the one trapped in a cage


For as long as he could remember, he had been trapped. This plastic cage was all he had known. Fleeting memories of grand adventures through kingdoms of bright colors would sometimes cross his mind, but he could not be sure if such thoughts were even his own. Unable to be granted the escape of even

Was this his fate? Was this the reward that awaited him after so many good deeds done? Had he even done those deeds?

Surely... Surely he must have. Yes, he had to have! He remembered them. He clearly remembered them, in fact! He knew it in his heart to be so. He was a hero. A hero! He was a hero known far and wide! A hero with friends, with family, even rivals! Rivals he had toppled, rivals that had toppled themselves, even! The simian, the koopa king... The dragon, the hedgehog, the over-eater... Even that titanic mouse with the gloves, and his angry duck cohort!

He could recall each and every one of their faces.

Sometimes, the battles had been indirect. At other times, the battles had been competitions, for power, for recognition, for the hearts of the people... The mouse was his greatest rival in this respect, but when it came to his arena, no amount of kingdoms and no amount of heart could stop him.

He had always emerged victorious.


He was the hero...

... wasn't he...?

This strange prison had managed to capture more than just the hero. At one time, his rivals, his friends, even his family had all been here. He had been sure the guards, those titanic beings that led prisoners such as himself to freedom, would have picked him, the hero, first...

They did not. They left him.

The villainous king, who he had personally battled with on numerous occasions?

He was gone. The hero expected nothing less from a villain.

The hero's brother, always supported by his playful and teasing sibling?

He left without looking back. The hero told himself that he should want the best for his beloved brother.

The dragon, forgotten by time and the people, a creature the hero no longer even considered a rival?

He came and went like the wind. The hero was finally struck speechless, and he would soon learn, this was only the beginning.

The hedgehog, the glutton, the mouse, the duck, even golden trophies in the hero's own image... Even the hero's lover had left him for the outside world. He feared he would never taste her cake ever again.

Would she even be willing to bake it for him if he ever managed to escape this place?

The idea that she had left him for the king, that she had started a family with the dragon... Such talk was merely rumor... Wasn't it...?

 The hero was starting to give up hope. He told himself that today would be the last day that he bothered with the notion. Better to give up now than to waste whatever life he had left waiting for something that would never come. There was only the princess from the other land left, besides for he and the rows of impostors... at least, so long as he kept his eyes away from the prisons of the mouse or the dragon. Those seemed to experience jailbreaks regularly.

He ached to be among them. What he wouldn't give to be the dragon's lackey, to be the mouse's lapdog, if only it would mean that he could be free of this rotten place.

Why did no one want him?

As this thought, this bullet to the heart, pierced him as it did every second of every day, a familiar sound broke him from his stupor.

"Mommy, look! There's still some amiibo left here!"

It was the sound of hope.

He couldn't believe his eyes. Had someone finally come to free him? Yes, it seemed to be so! Hands were reaching out for him! Could it be...? Could it really, really be?

Was it finally time for him to rejoin his friends? Would he see them again at last? His brother, his lover, every one? He would even give that damned king a great hug again if it meant he could be free of this accursed...

"Mommy, mommy, look! This store has a Zelda in stock!"

In her eagerness to reach to object of her desire, the little giant girl shoved the other prisoners out of the way so she could better reach and admire her new acquisition. She paid no mind to the rows of red, the long line of champions, that she shoved away as she took hold of her prize.

"But... But!"

His box was knocked to the side. It clattered to the bottom of the shelf, and as it did, he let himself imagine he could be allowed the release of tears.

"Don't you remember...?"

No such release came from the prisoner, now buried under a pile of discount Skylanders figures.

"It's... It's a-me..."

Because no matter how it feels...


Plastic can't cry.

Plastic can't cry.

Part α: Introduction
Part 1: Existing amiibo Functionality
 Part 2: Adding New amiibo to Old Games
Part 3: amiibomon: Gotta Buy 'em All!
Part 4: Basically amiibo Fanfiction
-> Part Ω: Actual amiibo Fanfiction <-

And now, a word from our sponsors:
Part X
*If you are in some strange minority that enjoyed reading this blog, it is recommended
by the sponsors that you do not view Part X until a later date. Thank you.

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About OverlordZettaone of us since 10:34 AM on 07.16.2014

Hey there! You seem to have taken a wrong turn, friend. Front page is thattaway, and Zetta is currently on vacation, in a manner of speaking.

But hey! If you actually do mean to be here for some reason, then hello! Although I am not really here at the moment, when I am active, I go by Zetta around these parts, I am an enthusiast of all things Kamen Rider as well as most things Vita, as well as all sorts of other nonsensical nonsense. Good times!

When I'm not busy writing annoyingly long comments, you can find me here, writing annoyingly long blogs. I dream of the day everyone on the internet can get along and be friends, like an annoying anime protagonist...'s even more annoying love interest, and in the meanwhile, am dreaming of putting my wordliness to good use in something creative someday, lest my existence be completely wasted.

My console of choice is the Vita, my favorite Kamen Rider changes with the tide, and I really have no idea how to end this at this point.

Time for a pose!

- Pokemon X and Alpha Sapphire
- Umineko no Naku Koro ni

- TRianThology
- Danganronpa 3
- Persona 5
- Pokemon Moon

- Soul Sacrifice 2
- Persona 3 Platinum
- Mega Man ZX 3
- Devil Survivor 3
- Zettai Hero Project 2
- Kamen Rider Warriors
... and of course...