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I have found the greatest RPG character of all time.


Look at this guy.

I'm not even an hour into Covenant of Solitude, and I am floored. Not because the game itself is that great (it seems pretty mediocre so far), but because little did I expect to see the classiest man in the world fight alongside my protagonist on his quest for redemption.

I can't even handle it. Look at this guy.

While everyone else faces the player and waves their arms around to indicate how proud they are of winning the battle, this guy's just sitting at the bottom all like "ah, what a jolly old time that was, mayhaps I fancy a crumpet and tea over the carcasses of my opponents."

Here's what really gets to me though. I haven't been calling this guy "Rod" because he's actually one of many generic monsters that you create at the beginning of the game to fill out your party. That's right, Covenant of Solitude follows the Final Fantasy I "make your party" formula for the most part, so it's not like classy tophat guy has some ridiculous backstory to justify his appearance. In fact, it's even better; he's one of an entire race of classy tophat people.

Sure, the game calls them vampires, but there is literally nothing about the class that indicates that they suck blood or do anything that even relates to vampire lore. You can also see how the other monster types might actually qualify as being monsters in some fashion, but "vampires" have absolutely no animal features that would make them particularly stand out among actual humans. In other words, aside from pointy ears (in a fantasy game where pointy ears are not exactly uncommon mind you), the only unifying trait of this race is being generally good at magic and dressing fantastically. This is a world I want to live in, and no one can convince me otherwise.

I don't care what developer Magitek is working on right now, because they absolutely must make a game centered around the majesty of this character. Whether you call it Tophat Adventures, Grand Hat Fantasma, or Gentleman of the Heavens and Earth-Depths, I promise to preorder it and/or back it on kickstarter. Though part of me is sad that Covenant of Solutude probably won't have any other characters that draw this reaction out of me, I for one commend the artists for creating such a magical character. Spread the word. #IStandWithTophats

Fun fact: I originally drafted this up to try out quickposting because I thought they could be miniblogs. I was sorely mistaken and I haven't stopped crying.

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About JoyfulSanityone of us since 5:05 PM on 07.09.2012

I'm a guy who likes to write about videogames. Sometimes in funny ways and sometimes in artsy ways. You'll just have to read my blogs to find out the difference between the two!

I'm in my mid 20s, I'm from the United States, and this is currently the most productive thing I'm doing with my B.A. in English. I also tend to write really long comments in response to people that start to read like mini-blogs. I apologize in advance for the walls of text.

Also, I like to have fun. I write about controversies sometimes because I get compelled, but I much prefer using caps lock to convey my love for quality RPGs.

If you like my content on Destructoid, you can find even more of it by going to my website!


I'm currently playing the following:
The Elder Scrolls Online
The Infinite List of Kemco RPGs
Borderlands: The Pre-Sequel
Ys (Any and all of them)
Final Fantasy XIV

I've been featured on the front page! Check it out!

The Ys Buyers Guide
Keep it classy: Red Mage searching for an identity
I Love Final Fantasy: All The Bravest
Videogames don't let me think about the awful things I do in them
My fondest videogame memories involve breaking them

My blogs are like my childrens and I love them all. Having said that...

The following are my personal favorite blogs among what I've written here:

Why I Love Your Blog
A 100% Objective Review of the Ys Series
Sexualized is a lazy term
Klonoa 2 is awesome and you should play it

If you want to get in touch with me, send me a message here:

[email protected]