HELLO DEAREST FELLOW READERS.
My name is Zombie Orwell. You may know me from such legendary Cblogs as Help I Can't Find My Jar Of Pickles and I Somehow Have The Ability To Give 34 Faps. Well, I'm back again sort of like Eminem except I didn't nearly die from an overdose of prescription pills.
[Speaking of rap, Dr Dre just released Compton. Buy it.]
I've noticed that lots of people are complaining and discussing and fellating about the recent changes to the Cblogs. So I thought I would take this time to address you all in the fullness of time, that we might beat on, boats against the current, etc.
I made these changes to the Cblog System Thing after several centuries of contemplation and field testing. I always liked the Cblogs, but I never was able to devise a system that would give me 34 times the power of normal undeceased humans.
So I devised the new Cblog System Thing in order to respond to this travesty of justice.
Now that I have given myself the ability to fap 34 times per blog post, you had better believe I will abuse the living fuck out of this system until I decide to change it again.
In the meantime I will be fapping until my hands fall off.