The Shit Box Volume 9: Boku no Pico

Happy day to all you lovely folks, this will be the first entry of something other than a movie in this series. As the title says, I'll be covering Boku no Pico. For the uninitiated, Boku no Pico is somewhat of an internet legend, a three episode Original Video Animation following the titular Pico, a gay anime boy somewhere in his early teens who looks like a young girl. I don't even have to check to make sure that this series was suggested by Firion over on the forums, anyone who's been there will just now, this is defiitely Firion's doing. For normal series, I'll do a more general overview, but Boku no Pico is short enough that I can go more in-depth with an episode by episode breakdown.

So, we start off with our titular gay anime boy waking up wearing nothing but tighty whities, without context. Context is something I've learned to appreciate from this series, because nothing I watch for this series has opened with any amount of it. The opening animation and song play through, and there are scenes that never actually end up playing out in any of the three OVAs. Near the tail end, we get to see Pico and the viewpoint character having sex somewhere outdoors, I was not prepared to have gay anime boy sex in the opening, so this caught me off guard.

We're given a scene of future of Pico having sex before being introduced to our protagonist, some schmuck with a nose of truly awesome proportion, the human face was not built for such an accessory. Nose-chan, as I like to call him, spends some time creeping through the binoculars at the beach where we catch a glimpse of Pico, who is naked. Because this is an anime, Pico sees Nose-chan creeping on him, despite at least a mile of beach between them, then vanishes, because anime. Nose-chan visits his favorite cafe to take his mind off things, where he meets Pico face to face. This scene is completely superfluous, and only establishes that Pico is clumsy, trying to play it as cute, when all it does is make him unlikable.

In no time flat, Nose-chan and Pico are holding hands, hugging, and kissing, and then there's an awkward sex scene in the car. This is not a well animated hentai, if there even is such a thing. The sex is awkward, frames are recycled like no tomorrow, and at one point they actually play a handful of frames backwards, producing an endless amount of ice cream on Pico's chest. This first episode is pretty tame on the sex, mostly just Nose-chan and Pico sucking each other off, and some missionary anal

Things go wrong when Pico feels used, and runs away from Nose-chan. Pico cuts his hair short, and waits at a cemetery for some reason, where the conflict is inexplicably resolved, and they have badly animated makeup sex on the beach, with a flash forward to Pico having his hair grown out again. That whole segment was pointless. Enter challenger 2. In the second episode, things get a bit more complicated. Nose-chan has been utterly forgotten about, and instead Pico's new lover is some 8 year old anime boy who masturbates to his sister. This hentai is messed up.

Pico and loverboy Chico hit it off real well, spending a whole day together naked, and then having gay anime boy sex as they watch Chico's sister masturbate together. This launches an endless night of sex, and by day two, Pico and Chico have a sex routine. Yeah. They discover Chico's sister has a handful of costumes and sex toys, which they then proceed to use on each other like mongrels. Chico's sister finds the two having hardcore gay anime boy sex, but rather than freaking out, masturbates to a squirting orgasm offscreen. Okay then.

And in comes challenger 3, the final episode of the Boku no Pico OVAs. According to Wikipedia there's a manga and game, but fuck you people, I'm not that dedicated to internet points to chase even more of this garbage. We're introduced to yet another lover for Pico, named Coco, some boyslut in Tokyo, and with his introduction we of course lose Chico's sister. One thing to note, each episode has oly three characters. The first one has a still shot of three people, but they're unanimated, and are never spoken to, so they don't count.

This episode ramps things up by making the series explicitly supernatural, and being composed almost entirely of sex scenes. It's about 10 minutes until the first, and there's not much inbetween this go around. Pico and Chico come to Tokyo, which is apparently a deserted wasteland, as there are no humans actually shown moving around, just abandoned shops and railways. They run into Coco at a claw machine, who then establishes himself as an obnoxious hippie and the absolute worst character. I hate Coco.

The main conflict of this episode is that Pico isjealous of Coco for having Chico's affections, and Chico is meanwhile an oblivious preteen who's really out of place in this whole thing. Pico and Coco become fuckbuds instantly, and what the fuck, why is Chico getting ready to fuck a plant? Anyway, lots of sex goes on, they visit a deserted amusement park, they go back to the abandoned railway Coco lives in, and Pio discovers that Chico and Coco are having sex behind his back, which is exactly what Pico was doing anyway. I miss Nose-chan, life was simple when it was just him and Pico. Anyway, Coco moves out of the way when he feels he's gotten in the way of Pico and Chico, the to run off and find him, they have a hilariously poorly animated makeup threesome, the end.

There's a lot these episodes don't cover, like where any of the other characters vanished off to, so I choose to believe that Nose-chan and Chico's sister got married and took over the cafe Pico's grandpa owned. That is my headcanon, you can't take it away from me. There's a lot you won't be prepared for with this hentai, and it's overall very subpar quality. The recycled frames, the bad voice acting, the constantly shifting shapes of the characters. It's all very awkward, but gives it a hilarious charm. Except Coco, Coco removes those charms by being pretentious.

Have a good Friday everyone, I'll see you Monday with the regular movie installment.

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