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Destructoid Takes Up Smoking To Seem Cool Again


In light of Andy Dixon's departure from Destructoid, the website announced today it has taken up smoking to try and look cool again.

Dixon's departure is just the latest exit from the website that has seen some of the most well known personalities on the site leave for bigger and better other things. Without the man in the pink robe, Destructoid will be about 70% less cool than before. To fight potential damage to its image, Destructoid stood outside a record store this afternoon trying to look badass while taking long drags on a cigarette.

"From our experience, there is nothing more cool than skipping class to smoke in the bathroom," said Jonathan Holmes, Editor in Chief. "So we've started smoking, and not that e-cig shit. There's nothing cool about vaping. We've also started playing hackey sack, skateboarding, putting a smashed coke can on the front wheel of our bike and riding a motorcycle. If that doesn't work, we may have to get a sun tattoo on our arm."

Destructoid also announced it is trying out several catchphrases it hopes will go viral, including: Put some cheese on that, Show me your butt, Where all my honkeys at, Dick mountain here I come, and Hippity hap fap fap!

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About CJ Andriessenone of us since 6:56 PM on 10.14.2014

Just what the internet needs: yet another white guy writing about video games.