Man on Death Bed Really Regrets Spending $50 on Cooking Mama: Cook-Off

A Florida man with only days to live says he has no regrets in life, except for that one time he decided to drop $50 on a Cooking Mama game.

37-year-old Francis Dumond was diagnosed with lung cancer five years ago. Since then the Florida resident has been saying his goodbyes and wallowing over the memory of the time he walked into a Gamestop, with sound mind and body, and purchased Cooking Mama: Cook-Off.

“There aren’t many things in life that I would do differently,” Dumond said. “If I had to do it all over again, I probably would have still started smoking at 12. Smoking’s awesome except for this whole dying before the age of 40 nonsense. But I tell you, that time I spent fifty bucks on the Wii Cooking Mama game really eats at me. That’s the type of decision that just stains your soul and keeps you up at night. I mean what the fuck was I thinking?”

Dumond later added that he’s also not completely okay with the time he thought investing in the Yogventures Kickstarter was a good idea.

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