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LONG BLOG

Band of Bloggers: The Wasteland Recap

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Stories From The Apocalypse

We made it! It was a gruelling month, but we fought hard against all odds, and we made it through. We battled giant irradiated albino scorpions and Chinese cyborg ninjas, Tanked our way through bandits #1-4522, and re-casted the set of Fallout: New Vegas to fit your primetime TV slot. Some loved every minute, while others loathed them. But the important thing is, we made it. 

Well...at least some of us did. But no one can be expected to conquer the hell that is a corrupted or glitchy game file. Fallout on PC has always had a troubled past, but I suppose that's what it gets for being played by the #PCMasterRace. Racists. It is interesting that it seemed to be the PC gamers that ended up having problematic experiences, but I guess that's what you get for being able to play Fallout with cars and lightsabers. Ahem...I digress. 

Thanks to everyone who participated in February's Band of Bloggers! We got a total of 8 blogs, which is great for the first month of our event! People wrote about so many different aspects of their experiences, and it sounds like everyone had a blast with it, even if some playthroughs got unexpectedly cut short. We were really stoked to see such great participation in the event, and we hope to see even more great blogs for our March Band of Bloggers: Hello Hyrule! 

Nanashi Takes Us Back To The Perilous World Of The Original Fallout

Nanashi started the month off strong with a journey back to 1997, to tell us the tale of Ed Temple. Like pretty much every journey into the Wasteland, Ed's started with killing Radscorpions. It's like a right of passage in almost every RPG from the late 1990s until very recently: Kill giant bugs. Wasteland wanderer? Kill giant bugs. Wizard about to save the world? Ok but first, kill giant bugs. The really lucky ones get to kill giant bugs while also being in a basement or sewer. 

Ed was an exceptionally intelligent wastelander by most standards, and even founded the very first Folk band after the fallout, Ed and Ian. Even though Ian hogged the spotlight, and a lot of the XP, they had a groovy blues melody that was enjoyed by all, but the scourge of giant vermin and bugs. Because that's what post-apocalyptic folk bands do, they battle giant mutated pests with smooth tunes. Hot damn, what a time to be alive. 

But unfortunately, there was one giant bug that not even Ed and Ian (or their great Overlord Nanashi-san) could overcome. Just as they were Rocking Their Way Through Junktown (first album title btw), Nanashi made the mistake of saving his game. Bigggg mistake. Everyone knows you can't save a Fallout game, especially in a blues-infused gunfight. You have to play for 50 hours straight. 

And even though Nanashi's journey into the wasteland continued as he traversed the denizens of internet forums searching for a solution, Ed Temple's came to an end that fateful day in Junktown. But his struggles weren't for naught, because 13 years later (in real-life time, I have no idea how the timelines of the games actually overlap...probably simultaneously) New Vegas Radio played a song about that fateful day.


There will be a trophy waifu waiting for you on the other side, friend.

Private Luck's Lonely Hearts Club Band

Private Lucky Pepper had a troubled past, he somehow never made it more than fifteen minutes into a Fallout game before February. Turns out he's snacky. I get it. I can't count how many times I've started a game with a slow beginning, got snacky, and began the quest of the ultimate sammich. But not today. Oh no, today Corporal Luck defeated the character customization boss (like Bruce Spingsteen) and emerged with a fancy bonnet. 

Sergeant Luck did not envy the idea of traversing across Nevada on foot, and tried to enlist the help of a two-headed buffalo. No luck there. *Pauses for punny laughter* So instead, he decided to steal everything that wasn't nailed down on his quest to open a variety store for hoodlums. Not content with the life of a shopkeep, Lieutenant Luck championed his way through mutant geckos while his spurs sang out a fine tune, and realized the benefit of dynamite over a 10mm. 

Captain Luck's last great deed was trying to mediate an argument between two wastelanders as he headed for Nipton, but it ended as most arguments do in a Bethesda game. With heads-a-rolling. By this point, Major Luck was content to fulfill his last deed in the wasteland: robbing people blind to create the perfect tea and biscuits. I think that deserves a promotion, Field Marshal Luck. 


I'd follow you into the trenches anyday. 

Riobux Presents: The Super Awesome Wasteland Happy Hour Special

I'd just like to start by saying, I wholly agree. I'd love a real AMC/HBO/Netflix Fallout adaptation. There have been some alright post-apocalypse shows, but I think the Fallout: New Vegas setting would make for a great setting, and luckily our new host Riobux agrees. Otherwise I'd have to vaporize him. 

We start with quite a blank slate of a character in Fallout, which really gives a writer a lot to work with. Going outside the typical white-male protagonist, Riobux discusses how black, gay, or transgender characters could impact the overall theme of the show and discuss important issues. This is what I like about Riobux's writing, he always brings up themes that really gets me thinking. I'd like to have him behind actually designing this TV show. 

As far as episodes go, Riobux posits that episodes could travel from village to village tackling quests for the inhabitants. I like the idea of staying in a town for a few episodes, namely "the town with the big dinosaur" (or Novac for you picky wastelanders). There are some colourful characters and fun quests to be had at the foot of Dinky the dinosaur. 

We add in some companions that will travel with the main character throughout the series, and we've got a solid Fallout show. Every protagonist needs some loveable cohorts, but mostly Rex. Really, anyone except for Boone. Seriously, leave him behind. I find him to be like the Lydia of Fallout. (I Fus-Rah-Doh'd her ass off a cliff. "Accidentally".) When Boonydia finally bit a bullet, I didn't even feel the need to reload a save. 


In case you'd never seen this before;
You're Welcome.

Retrofaction and Tank Man Tank Life, Tests, Raiders, Gary 33, Gary 27, Gary 32, Gary 43, Gary 1, and...Seriously, Fuck Gary 47.

TANK MAN SMASH....I almost feel like I could leave it at that. But I won't, because the Adventures of Tank Man were awesome. But if I did just have to say one thing about Tank Man, it would be that everything he came into contact with broke. And not just broke, but was shattered from any existence in the corporeal dimension. Including the game itself. 

Tank Man is born? Kaboom. Tank Man writes the GOAT. Donezo. Tank Man's father leaves. Emotional destruction. Tank Man gets surrounded by raiders with guns? It was like 2010 and Chuck Norris jokes were all the rage again. Are you getting my point? Nothing stood in Tank Man's way. 

And not only did Tank Man do awesome and catastrophic things, but they were all accompanied by a very fitting soundtrack. He also tried to find friends to join with him in his quest, but he either got bored of them or they were eaten by rabid dogs. R.I.P. John. Luckily he did come across a Super Mutant who understood Tank Man better than he knew himself, and the two became the best of friends. 

Lastly, huge props to Retrofaction and Tank Man for trooping it through the game even through it crashed 12 times in 20 days. Retro saved a lot and managed to make it through the game after much struggle...Nanashi saved once and broke his completely. Oh Fallout


If only he hadn't been eaten by dogs. Oh John-Senpai...

 Dreamweaver Does Just That, And Brings The Wasteland To Life

Well hot damn. I'm really glad that someone decided to do a full on fanfic, and if it was going to be anyone, Dreamweaver was the man to do it. A lot of us told stories from the perspective of our characters, in fact, pretty much everyone did. But Dream took it that step farther and brought us a 3-part epic based off his trials and tribulations in the Nevada Wastes. Somehow without any waifus or Nicole Watterson though. I was slightly disappointed. 

A Drop to Die For was a metaphor for how the rape of our natural resources in the 21st century is leading us towards a chaotic future. You all caught that, right? On the surface, it was Dreamweaver solving the day-to-day problems of the waste (most likely the same people General Luck came across), but beneath that was a many-tiered metaphor about geopolitics and the Arctic.

Last Man Standing brought to us the real perils of New Vegas, when a high Speech stat isn't enough to belay the fighting. That and it brought to light the true and present threat of twins. Seriously, there is always an evil twin, and 9 times out of 10 they have a rocket launcher. It's Terry and Sherry all over again.  I was actually playing with Dreamweaver when the scene that inspired this part happened, and it was pretty awesome. Luckily in the game, he had the ability to freeze the missile mid-air and heal when he checked his watch. 

Divide and Conquer was nothing more than a jab at people who are playing Fallout 3 without the DLC and do not have access to the Chinese Stealth Armour. Seriously, it gives you like a bajillion to Stealth and cloaks you when you crouch. It's pretty much all I wear in my game, so I took the story less as a slight against me. Luckily, Dreamweaver didn't know that I was crouched around the corner with my trenchcoat and .44, and saved his life at the end there. Did you catch that it was me? Yeaaah right, a "Mysterious Stranger" did it. Be serious. 


Stay Gold, Bronie Boy. 

Fenriff Thinks Fallout New Vegas Is A Hot Mess. I Think Fenriff Is A Hot Mess.

"More like Fail-out: New Vegas." Ahahaha, you can't even write that stuff. Well played brother. Fenriff's addition to February Band of Bloggers was to tell us how much a mess the game we all wasted a month playing is. Seriously, half of you could barely finish it, and over 50% of people that wrote a blog mentioned some sort of bug. I think he might be onto something. That or he was just really jaded after beating Final Fantasy XIII-2. I'm guessing the latter.

So let's break Fallout: New Vegas down according to the Fenriff Classification.

Set-up of the game and character creation: An absolute mess. 
The Karma system: The dumbest nonexistent mechanic ever. 
Backpacks: How many gun holsters you got bro?
Repairing: How many gun holsters you got bro?
Working as a courier: Watch out UPS, Fenriff's out for blood. 
Mop Buckets: Loves them, oddly. He spent quite some time in one. Teeheehee...
Bouncing: Loves that too. Like a wasted kangaroo. 

And that pretty sums up Fenriff's experiences in Nevada. And you know what the most twisted part of it all is? He admits that he wants to keep going back for more. I mean, I play games on Hardcore mode with one-hit kills, but this guy is a sadist. I think you should probably talk to someone man. Right after you're done bouncing in your mop bucket. 


Good Grief. 

TSG Drones On And On About Playing Fallout Ethically. Seriously, Who Let This Guy In?

Holy crap on a cupcake. Does this guy ever shut up? They should call him The Rambley Gamer. Heh, burn. So first he played some Fallout: New Vegas, and apparently was kind of an asshole while he was doing it. Tried to justify it as "Neutral Evil" for like 2 paragraphs and even used a chart, but let's face it. He was just being an asshat. But then he felt bad at being an asshat, and tried to play Fallout 3 as a good person. Well, that's not entirely true either. 

First he blew up Megaton, and then he decided to be a good person. You can't do that man. Trying to have your Fancy Lad Snack Cakes and eat them too. And who knows if he was even that good of a person? If his Speech skill is really as high as he said it was, he may have just been lying to all of us too. Fuck...now I just feel cheated and dirty. 

3000 words later, we've learned more about this guy than we have about Fallout, and he even snuck in a fart joke. For shame. By the looks of it, he probably sunk far too many hours of his life into it, I'd wager around 100. 100 hours without a single bug though, that's pretty impressive for a Fallout game. Apparently he successfully beat Fallout 3 with the highest karma though, even though it's a pointless and stupid mechanic. Oh great, now Fenriff's wearing off on me. 

Liberty Prime, you should have taken down the Iron Curtain. 

Well that was a bit longer than I had originally anticipated, but hey, it's my first Recap blog and I got kind of excited. Man though...that guy was right, I really should be called The Rambley Gamer. Thanks again to everyone who participated, and we hope that you are already enjoying the wonders that Hyrule has to offer! 

Game Together.
The Rambley Gamer

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The Scholarly Gamer   
Luckrequired   2
RedHeadPeak   1
Luna Sy   1
Gajknight   1
Fenriff   1
Whispering Willow   1
nanashi   1
Seymour   1
Marcel Hoang   1
Roberto Plankton   1
Retrofraction   1
Dreamweaver   1
M Randy   1
CblogRecaps   1
Batthink   1


 
 

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About The Scholarly Gamerone of us since 10:04 AM on 06.10.2014

Working for the Government of Canada, DJing and writing about video games in my spare time.

I also work for Gamework Canada (www.gamework.ca), bringing competitive gaming tournaments to Canada!

This really needs an overhaul: COMING SOON!