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My Top 9(ish) Nutcrackers


Я Люблю Вас Всех

So I'm a bit late getting to this blog, but between discussing ISIS and wrapping up this month's Band of Bloggers, it's been a busy one for blogging. There have also been some amazing Top 9s already, and I was unsure of how I wanted to write one. 

Let's face it. I could never narrow it down to only 9 of you whom I love, and if I tried to list everybody chances are that I'm going to forget some people. If sending out my wedding invitiations lately has taught me anything, its that I may forget you even if you're part of my ceremony. So I've been playing around with some ideas, but it wasn't until watching an episode of The Simpsons the other night that I decided how I wanted to write this. 

So here is my ode to my favourite Nutcrackers in this crazy community. Please press play on the video below, and then attempt to read this along with the music. When the main part stops and there is the interlude for about 20 seconds (0:28-0:48), I'll switch writing formats so that you know where you should be. This may be a complete failblog, but in my head it works perfectly. Then again, lots of things work perfectly up here that probably don't in practise.

So, without further Apu (ahahah, I will keep repeating this joke), Tchaikovsky and The Scholarly Gamer Present: Get Nutcrackin'

Mike Mcphil is the king shit,
And you know you want his dick.
Dream is like my brother
and I wouldn't want another (EVER!)

I think that Gajknight loves me most,
I'd cross the Atlantic to ride that post,
Andy keeps the community alive,
Without him we'd most surely die. 

Occams is essential,
I'd like his picture on my mantle.
Retro was my first friend here,
We all are lucky he's our peer.

Elsa's like our mother hen,
Surprised she tolerates the crap we spin.
Fenriff's writing's really great
A blog a week for 8 months straight. 

Now take a mental breath. You have about 20 seconds before this starts again. I was going to write something for this part, but it would just be too complicated to follow along with. This was a silly idea, and I can't express quite how much you all mean to me here, but I'm having fun with this. I'm sure even without saying anything, you all know how important you are to me and how large a part of my life you have all been. Halfway through writing this, I actually kind of want to make a recording of it now, just for some extra oomph. Speaking of Oomph, I think it was the great Genghis Khan who once said...Oh shit, here we go again! 

Tonich is my Russian homie,
Of everyone here he really knows me,
Riobux, Spieler, RedHeadPeak,
They teach us lessons every week.

TheDustinThomas I'm a fan of,
ErrorMachine wielding bearded man crush.
You Can't Say That's my favourite contest,
LuckRequired you're the bomb shit. 

Luna, Pixie, Wrenchfarm, Hoffman,
Strider, Dango, Nanashi, Shade and
HLBC with the stamp,
Bbain now a Front Page man,
Lastly the one who brings us cheer,
It's About to Get Gay in Here!

Phew. Well, I wasn't sure that I was going to be able to fit it all in at the end there, but I think I made it work! There are some people that I was not able to quite cram in (CaimDark, and Zerot0nin. Fuck guys, you know I love you too) and, and as I said I've undoubtedly forgot someone that probably means a lot to me. I won't start doing a bunch of honourable mentions here though, because then I'd likely just forget someone from that list. You can just yell at me in the comments. =D  And shout out to the new blood around here, I look forward to getting to know you all more! 

EDIT: This is why you don't write this blog right after 4 hours of wedding planning. I knew I'd forget important people. 
ChillyBilly/Cold William/Bill Platt; I can't even imagine a Destructoid without you. You're everything I want to be when I grow up.
OpiumHerz; You're my German Mounting bro. I'm stoked we've started chatting more, your cynicism makes me smile.  
Scield; You put up with all my lateness on FNFs and crap, and you've always been such a great guy to me.  

I'm thinking of re-writing the lyrics to "We Didn't Start the Fire" for my next tribute to the CBlogs.

Love you all, and I can't imagine a Destructoid Community without any of you!

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About The Scholarly Gamerone of us since 10:04 AM on 06.10.2014

Working for the Government of Canada, DJing and writing about video games in my spare time.

I also work for Gamework Canada (www.gamework.ca), bringing competitive gaming tournaments to Canada!

This really needs an overhaul: COMING SOON!