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Fetish Blog: Return of the Shag


... and the bees.

Willickers! What a beautiful day outside!

I could be out walking, getting fit, getting some sun, pointin' and winkin' as I cross paths with my neighbors and the local deer herds (I assume they run because my too cool attitude just gets them that flustered), but, instead, I'm inside typing up (what is assured to be) another wonderful entry in this series of blogs where our community confesses to all the weird crap that makes their hearts thwomp and their nethers goomba (that one doesn't work quite as well). 



There are many wisdoms to take from the penis.

Can we just set one thing straight? You guys are fucking weird. But, I love you. I love you all. And, yes, in that way. I mean, I'm weird too. I want to be weird with you. On the Internet, in your car, in the park, at the movies, while you cook, in the presedential election booth, locked in a cell, protesting the establishment, but, mostly, right here and now. 

I've already detailed ten people/creatures I would be more than happy to get happy with, but ever since shortly after posting that and witnessing the feedback it got, I've felt as if I've let some of you down. 

I've had this nagging itch at the back of my head for some time now. It's not that bump I got from slipping in the shower, it's not that rash I got from rubbing on that mysterious lotion I bought off some pestering old man with one eye, no... it's something else. Did I not perform to the best of my abilities? Length wasn't the issue, nor was it the build-up or the titilation, it was the substance

Consider this blog an apology. A lament. I know you all want to know as much about what makes me a perv as possible and my past discharge clearly did not quench your thirst. 

Well, drink up, you lovely deliquents. 


Our resident Laura Kate knows this all too well: Butts are grrrrrreat. If they could talk, I'd hope they'd say they loved me back. 

Ever since I was 16, I have been absolutely obsessed with butts. Situated at the pelvis, much like the penis, vagina, and hips, it is like the center of all that is the physical form. There's something very flattering/satisfying about being directly presented or interacting with something so central and personal to someone.

Shaped just right, it is visually flattering as well. How it stretches/bends, warps, gives in. But, when size, shape, and firmness come together just right, if I'm being frank, there's nothing quite like the feel. Can I get an amen? 


Look at how excited they are! There's only 3 things you get that excited over: 

1.) Exam results

2.) Landing that job

3.) Butts

The butt is evolution's way of saying it cares. It is one of THE greatest things ever.


Now, this is KIND of (I'll explain) a recent fetish. At this point, it's actually one of my most passionate. 

I used to think I became interested in dudes out of boredum with the fairer sex because, if I'm being totally honest with myself, I haven't had a single successful relationship with a female. I've had what could be described as "flings", never a real significant other. Whether it was because I wasn't assertive enough or she simply wasn't interested, I haven't had much luck. 

But, in retrospect, I've always been interested in the peen. Without going into too much detail, even at the early stages of puberty, I never considered dudes any different than gals. I was just suddenly finding the general human body... tantaliizing. Somewhere down the line, though, for whatever reason, I began putting those fantasies behind me. Perhaps it was because most, if not all, the attention I had been receiving, at the time, was from the females. So, naturally, I guess my brain began to heavily associate with girls. Cooties and all. 

As I've grown in these last couple (rather tough) years, I've done a lot of digging around in my head. Who I am, what I've gone through, what I what, etc. And given the amount of (eheh) personal time I still have to myself, it was only so long before these urges would begin to creep back up. 

Specifically, I love the pretty boys. Not always the androgynous boys, but that does help. If they wanna put on lady's garments and high heels, be my guest. In vidja game terms, you might find me fawning over the likes of Link, Yosuke, Ringabel, Jonathan, etc. 

Now, I've, of course, never been at all against going for whoever it is you love (within reason), but ever since officially adopting a more bisexual state of mind, I've begun to especially appreciate the beauty of sharing the same appendage (or lack thereof) and hate the sometimes very arbitrary notion of the law or religion. 

Why should two lovers be denied their right to get married or even a good time (in some parts of the world, just being anything but straight will get you fined)? "Sanctity"? Who's to say what that means to you is what it should mean for all? When tradition becomes more of a burden (to say the least) that holds back what hurts nobody, don't you think it's about time you start considering how stupid the whole thing is?

Personally? I want nothing more than to be taken from behind, on all fours, by a lovely young stallion with a nice dick. He slips it in, there goes my butt virginity, and I plead for it to stop because of the pain. But, I'm then caressed firmly at the neck and kissed softly on the back of the head, as if to say "It's a wild ride, but I'm here for you.". The pain turns to pleasure as we both begin moaning in unison and eventually finish with a loud scream. We both collapse in heat, breathing heavily. We look at eachother, still red, and kiss passionately for several seconds and I finally hear those words I've longed to genuinely hear for so damn long:

"God, I love you."

I know it. I'll burst into tears and kiss him for several seconds longer and repeat that powerful phrase, "I love you.". We fall asleep in eachother's arms, both mouths ajar from the previous intensity. But, on the inside, I'll be smiling more than I ever have. 

Asian Gals

Another early fetish of mine that I've carried into adulthood, Asians ladies are easily a number two just below twinks. 

The more native, the better. Even when they're not perfect, they're still sooooo mesmerizing! A lot of them are real cuties and, as I've detailed in my last fetish blog, when cute gets sexy it gets really sexy. It should be no mystery, but part of said cuteness comes from the eyes. Whether as large as saucers or as narrow as toothpicks, there's something about them I adore that I can't quite put into words. 

All 3 are of Rina Akiyama. One of the few models I know by name because that's how amazing she is! You might actually know her from her pin-up cameo in MGS3.

They're a commodity I can't imagine someone (who's into vjj) not at least enjoying on some level. I can't help but lose my shit just a tad when I see an especially attractive Asian girl. There's definitely the foreign appeal. That they could probably show me things I never thought possible, beautiful things.. sexy things. 

They also seem rather fun-loving. I've never seen a shoot with an Asian girl who didn't look like she was having the time of her life rather than trying to look as easy as possible. I think we all here at Destructoid can at least appreciate being able to keep a heartfelt smile while showing a little (or a lot of) skin. 

There's nothing to be ashamed of. Whip it out!


Oh, boy. Here we go. 

Yes. I'm a fur[youknowwhat] through and through. I love big, fluffy tails. The smooth, vibrant, cartoonish styles. The structural impossibilities. Everything about them. I love furries


To make matters worse, it's doesn't even have to have fur! Yeah! Pokemon? Rock hard. Ponies? Aw yees. Imps? Aliens? SHARKS?! 

SHARKS?! ... sharks? That doesn't ev- ACK, how? What is wrong with me?!

Sometimes I even surprise myself. 

Perhaps it's best that we move on...


Now, being laughed at is a whole separate thang that I'm not personally into. I'm all about submission and being powerless (as I'll detail in the next topic), but there's a fine line between that and just straight up degradation. 

However, laughing from the sensation of skin touching skin or from the sheer pleasure? That's fucking hot. Just the sound is enough to evoke an ASMR-like response from me, especially when it's really cackly and squealy, but to know that I'm entertaining my other to a point that drives them crazy enough to laugh is immensely flattering. Sex is a mutual thing. If my partner is having fun, I'm having fun. 

I wouldn't even need to see equal pleasure from my partner. If I can blush them silly and then have them release, my job is done. I'm content. I just like making people happy!


As far as the more fantastical fetishes go, macro/giantess/giant/etc. is easily my favorite. 

There are some aspects of it I find greedy, that I enjoy anyway. To not only be caressed by, but surrounded in flesh or to be in awe of the immense scale. Some aspects unreasonable, that I can't help but think about. To be topped and pounded into the ground by a giant/giantess... with no outstanding pain... and live! Some aspects unconventional, but somehow still erotic. To be disregarded on a level that someone would consider trying to derive sexual pleasure from devouring me. 

Is that necessarily "degradation"? I don't think so. I don't like being told I'm unsexy or that I'm pathetic or anything. I like the idea of being used like almost a toy or a mere aphrodisiac. To have someone be pleasured at my expense. 

Or for someone that size to be my gentle protector. To keep me safe and consolidate me with massive hugs and kisses, and to be pleased orally or through small amounts of pressure against soft, firm skin. Ya know, in a way I would likely, given the already unrealistic circumstances of a macro human/anthro, come out alive.

Mostly, I just think about what it would be like to witness an attractive person of that scale. As tall as houses, skyscrapers... an entire planet! To feel insignificant to or be at the mercy of someone in that way. Not through anything emotional, through power, or social status, but through sheer size. I think that's incredibly interesting. And sexy. 




Before Destructoid, I had never felt I could be this open about my sexual desires. It's very therapeudic, as I'm currently still living at home and going through a bunch of nonsense that must be dealt with before really getting life underway. I haven't had much room for exploring this particular facet of life since my high school years, so I appreciate being heard. 

It may not seem immediately obvious, but this is not only very fun but very helpful. This is one hell of a community, one that I am proud to be apart of. I feel we can be open about anything here with no ill judgement. Whether someone needs life advice, we need to vent, talk about video games, or we want to share what gets us wet, it's all open for discussion around here! That's fucking something. Let's not ever take that for granted. 

I look forward to reading through any future fetish blogs that catches my eye! That's enough sexy from me for a while. 

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About Seymourone of us since 7:20 PM on 08.28.2011

Your resident sad queer and Shin Megami Tensei lover. Just don't ask me to place a name to most of the demons.

I also love musical sounds and even make them! Check it out!

Favorite Games:

Credit to Dango for this awesome side banner!

Honorable Mentions~!

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Enter the Gungeon
GTAIV: Episodes from Liberty City
Super Crate Box
Half-Life 2
Day's Gone
Shin Megami Tensei III: Nocturne HD
Ratchet & Clank: A Crack In Time
Dead Rising
Dead Rising 2: Off the Record
Uncharted 2: Among Thieves
The Long Dark
Deadly Premonition
Team Fortress 2
The Darkness
Death Road to Canada
DKC2: Diddy's Kong Quest
Halo: Combat Evolved
Left 4 Dead 2
Elite Beat Agents
The Last Of Us: Remastered
Silent Hill: Shattered Memories

Xbox LIVE:iAmHammett
Steam ID:isthisusernamecoolenough
Mii code:I have one, but f- friend codes
3DS Code:I have one, but f- friend codes


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