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"The Badger" Answers Your Questions


Last week, I put out a call for questions to send our anonymous contributor The Badger and our virile community rose the occasion as only we can. The only questions I omitted were either redundant, rhetorical or incoherant. They ranged from silly to confrontational and, to his/her/it's credit, The Badger answered every one of them.

Many thanks to lovely boy Jonathan Holmes for faciliating, The Badger for humoring us and everyone in the comment section for rallying together. You guys even managed to resurrect the long dead and much missed Comment Of The Week feature in the comments as a reaction. Be it having fun or causing chaos, you're always game. I want to give all of you uncomfortably long hugs.

And now, on with the inquisition:

We'll begin with JawshButturBawls and the question on everyone's lips: Gardevoir?

More of a Scizor guy myself, thanks.


GoofierBrute just wants to hang: What's The Badger's fondest gaming memory?

Either the first time I fired the shotgun in Doom or when I first shot the food in Gauntlet.


Dreamweaver is having an identity crisis. He asks: Am I the Badger?

You might be. I may not be the only person using the account. I may not be the only person even answering these questions.


Cannibal Steven is an odd young lad: What's the Badger's favorite snake-related-transformation-movie-scene?

There is some movie called something like SSSSSSSSSsssssssss. I think one of the white haired guys from Laugh In is in it. That whole movie is my answer.


FullmetalJ has his priorities in order: What's your favorite David Bowie album?

Probably the Life Aquatic.


Demo-Grafic is keeping up with the current events. He wants to know: If you are an industry insider, then maybe you can answer why the vehemently "anti-Gamergate" gets so much more instant press coverage? I've honestly seen far worse things said on their side than anything, yet no gaming site is willing to touch it when their nastier behavior is brought to light.

My guess is it's because GamerGate is a thing and AntiGamerGamer is not a thing. It's not Republicans and Democrats here. It's people who have chosen to brand themselves as GamerGate (whatever the fuck that even means) and then all sorts of people that are sometimes douchebags to people that have decided to brand themselves in that way. There are not hipsters and anti-hipsters. There are just hipsters and everyone else. Same with GamerGate.

Take it as a lesson. Branding yourself under some group label is basically begging to the world to get pissed at you for something that someone else did. If you don't want to be blamed for shit that the worst of GamerGate has done, stop actively calling yourself a "member of GamerGate". Your choice makes you look like either a douche or a fool. Also, deciding that everyone that doesn't like you is "anti-your group" makes you look like an even bigger fucking fool. Did you ever think that they didn't like you for you? Did you ever think it was your fault that people think you're fucking awful?

There is also the fact that GamerGate was started by a bunch of lying, mean spirited, hateful fucks who have effectively manipulated a lot of good people into doing their bidding. Can't forget that.


Scrustle has one of those cool plastic pipes that blows bubbles and a nice deerstalker cap: What parts of the industry have you worked in? As in, are you a developers? Have you worked with different kinds of studios? If so, what kinds? Or are you a blog/site writer? Have you worked at different sites? How has your experience working at different places compared?

I can't answer that. Holmes made me promise not to reveal who I am in any way.


The Defenestrator asks: What do you think of the rise of YouTuber's and the Let's Play scene versus the current model of game blogging?

I think that every generation of kids wants to toss out everything from the generation before in order to define themselves as special/new/different. It's why game consoles are on a five year cycle. After five years, you're officially "old" and the kids don't want anything to do with you.

Game magazines used to be huge money, then kids growing up on the internet abandoned them in favor of "cool new game blogs". Now the blogs are getting old so younger kids kids are into things that have only been big for a few years like Lets Plays, Podcasts, and other "Personality" focused internet stuff. Eventually the Youtube kids will grow up and some other thing will top the charts. Whatever. It's all just people talking about video games. Doesn't really matter how they do it.


Enter the Dragon! KimikoLoco wants to know: So, why are "nerds" in game journalism not held to the same standards as nerds in print journalism? What is so special about them?

I don't know what the fuck you're talking about, kid. Are you asking me why society doesn't care about the people who write about Mario Bros. for a living as much as the people who write about world politics for a living? Ask your English teacher.


Destructoid's resident magical girl Brittany Vincent has a fastball, high and inside: Why are you so afraid of coming out and saying the things you do using your real name? You're "in the right," at least in your eyes, so why not go public with your opinions? You mock journalists for obeying rules so as to not lose their jobs, but yet you fear for the loss of your own?

I'm not afraid. I was asked by Holmes to write under The Badger name, and the whole idea is for The Badger to be anonymous, like Batman or Michael Myers or some shit. I could be anybody, therefore I am everybody and nobody. I guess The Badger was the guy who started Destructoid's idea? Looks like he's pretty smart, because from what I've heard, I'm the most popular writer on the site going by pageviews-per-post Math. That's either a sign that I'm really good at this or the rest of the writers at Destructoid are really bad. Maybe both.

Here I thought you were going to ask me for tips on how to write more interesting posts.


Handy also wants to clear the air: You’ve expressed contempt for gamers, publishers, PR, journalists, critics, their audience, and developers of both indie and AAA games, why continue to work in an industry that doesn’t pay well and where you hate everybody?

Ah, the questions are getting more irate now. Good. Shows that you care about video games.

I care about video games too. There are people in this industry that I absolutely love. There are new video games released every month that I absolutely love. That's why I get irate about the industry sometimes. If you absolutely love something, or someone, then you're going to get pissed off when some of their parts don't work. I could have used The Badger to talk about all the shit I love about video games, but you can just go read another bought off 10/10 game review or a glowing press release written by some dildo who's paid by hour to pretend they like video games if you want sunshine and fucking lollipops blown up your ass. Negativity and criticism are things that a lot of people in the industry hold back. They bottle it up, afraid to make enemies or to make waves. The fact that I'm voicing the shit that people have been too constipated with fear to shit out themselves is probably why I'm so popular. 

I am the Ex-Lax that gaming culture needs before its colon bursts.


PhilKenSebben is taking a short break from his usual debauchery to wonder: Why should anyone believe you or care about what you say? You give no facts to anything that isn't already public knowledge, name no names and are just a moniker, ranting on a blog.

So lets say I wanted to tell a story about a hypothetical "game preview party" where, hypothetically, game developer CliffyB and game "journalist" Leigh Alexander fucked. Lets say this party happened back when CliffyB was actually relevant and when Leigh actually wrote about games people gave a fuck about. If Holmes were to let me post that, he'd have to back it up with evidence that this alleged party actually happened. He'd need photos of those two actually fucking, or first hand testimony from both of them confirming that they fucked or whatever. Without that, Dtoid could be sued for "slanderous lies" or some other garbage. That's how actual journalism works.

And for all you know, I write about gossipy shit like that all the time somewhere else on the internet. Thankfully, no one would really care if I did. Videogames haven't gotten to the point where we're as fucking bad as Hollywood.



Papa Bear Neiro is considering a career change: Teachers get paid less than McDonald's managers. Can get them some Nintendos?

Sure, kid.


Destructoid's "Chilly" Bill Platt turns up the heat: If you knew about the rampant corruption as far back as 8 years ago, why did you wait so long to say something?

Maybe I did, under my actual name. Maybe no one gave a fuck back then. Do you really think anyone cared about corruption in some rinky dink shit like "game journalism" in 2008, back when people were even stupider than they are today?

If anything, you should blame Destructoid for not coming up with The Badger idea sooner, or some other way to get the word out about how shit the game industry can be without committing PR suicide with the big money publishers that they need to play nice with in order to survive.

That's why I'm here, right?


EdgyDude will cut you if you don't answer: Why post here? I mean why of all sites that could host your opinion why pick the one that decided to be neutral and stay out of this whole GG issue from the start? Why not post in another site that falls in line with your POV instead of this one?

Blame Holmes. He's the one that asked The Badger/s to write for him. But he didn't tell me/us what to write. Fuck no. He tried to get me to write something differently once and I looked him in the eyes and said "fuck no". It was pretty funny. I did let him delete too many uses of the term "garbage fuckers" once though.

And I don't know what you're talking about with my post about GameGate. I didn't post about GamerGate. I posted about Ethics in Game "Journalism" once. Two totally different things.


Sir Davies just finished the 50 Shades Of Grey books and desperately needs to know: Do you look yourself in the mirror when you masturbate?



hlarge4 is in the midst of an existential crisis: Am I part of the problem if I just want to play games?

Hell no. Just try not to get duped. If playing games is the best way for you to do that, then you have my giant, sloppy, loving, blood red stamp of a approval on that. Just remember that anytime you are tempted to buy something because "everyone else is buying it" or say something because "everyone else is saying it", it's your job to slap yourself in the face, yell "BAD BOY" and count to ten, or as high as it takes for you to start having original thoughts again. That time may vary depending on how brainwashed you are and general level of intelligence.


MuppetTechNews menah menah: why is holmes such a wuss? as in why play the neutral game so much..its annoying.

Didn't the entire world get pissed at Holmes because he said he liked tripping in Smash Bros. once? Fucking nerds.


Ragnar DragonFyre has gazed into the abyss and would like to know: What's it feel like to tell the truth, only to have your audience get offended by the truth? Does it make you want to give up or re-double your efforts?

Dude, I'm not fucking Gandhi. This isn't fucking Selma. It's just videogames. One of the nice things about them is that they just aren't that important. Compared to the fact that black youth are getting murdered by the cops every other day for "looking scary" , or that your parents probably fucked you up in some way as a kid, or that you're probably a way worse person than you want to be, videogames aren't anything to worry about. If you love videogames, do yourself a favor and lighten the fuck up when it comes to the topic.


JoeyMcJoeJoey is not to be trifled with, sir: Badger. Do you believe you're the hero gaming deserves? Or the one it needs? And secondly: Wanna fight?

I think I'm going to help some people in some way, yes. Even if it's just making them laugh or think or feel for one extra second that day, then I did something helpful. But I don't want to fight. Fighting isn't interesting.


pk fire wants you get comfortable and maybe give you a surprise back massage: What was your most awkward experience in your professional working environment?

Hard to say without revealing too much about who I/We are, but I can tell you that it's always awkward when you take a shit in the bathroom and it's really loud and then you get out of the stall and your boss is standing there. It happened to me enough that I stopped trying to run from it, so now I just embrace it. I get out of the stall and look the boss in the eye and say "loud shit, amirtie?" Now that I think of it, that's a pretty decent power play. Maybe I should write about some Alpha Male shit like that in my next column. A lot of you could definitely use it.


Retrofraction is a stickler for good hygene: What conditioner does the Badger use on its fur?

The same stuff Jesse Venture waxes his mustache with.


Isay Isay say: So is the whole Badger persona a cathartic exercise for you?

To follow up with the other question about why I've been pretty negative so far, I think the natural thing to do behind closed doors is to take a shit. Catholic confessionals? Taking a shit. Dear Diary journaling/journalism? Taking a shit. It's the reason 4Chan and anonymous internet culture exists. It's why the word "shitposting" was created. People want to shit. That's why we have 4Chan.

With The Badger, I've tried to take shitposting culture and do something at least partially productive with it. Given how many intelligent, invested people in the industry have either agreed with me, or used my posts as a jump off point to make valid and interesting counter arguments against me, I think I've done a pretty good so far.

Maybe I'll quit while I'm ahead though, because I have an actual job that's way more important to me than shitposting, productive or not. Beginning to fee like I'm wasting my time here.


Finally, Reinhold Hoffman wears his sunglasses indoors and already knows the answer but asks regardless: Who are your favorite commenters on Destructoid?

I've never read the comments on Destructoid. Out of these questions, the best one came from Isay Isay, so them.


Thanks again to everyone for contributing!

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About TheDefenestratorone of us since 9:39 PM on 01.16.2013

Brent. Pittsburgh native. Phoenix resident. The, uh, the weather's been pretty nice lately, huh?


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