My 3ds and me

My 3ds and Me.

I travel alot for my job. I've had many professions, but none have put me on the road like my current one. In the last 90 days, I have been in 14 states, and slept in my van more than I care to admit. My 3ds gets to cuddle me more than my wife some weeks, so I thought I would take time out of my day to thank it.

Praise be to the Clamshell
Please never ever move away from this Nintendo. My needs an eighty dollar case phone so that it dosent immediatly explode when not carressed by a silk clad virgin, does nothing but anger me. I've had the same spotless Gameboy for over three years now, and I am far from a silk clad virgin.

Praise be to the Nintendium.
That feeling of a cheap controller, is so obvious. How delighted are we that the lowest bidder's tin springs we're rejected. May your buttons never jam.

Praise be to the compatability that lay backwards.
I will play the shit out of Lock's Quest and that game came out seven years ago, and was meant for that fat silver prototype DS. Keep doing what you're doing.

Praise be to the OPTION of touch controls.
My hands are giant goliath meat hooks. I use them daily to hang from rafters and pull wire bundles thicker than my thigh. Your stylus functioning as a secondary set of controls delights me, because It cannot be my primary.

Praise be to the library, for I am never bored.
I really really wanted to like the vita. I bought one on release day, and then again 2 years later. Shy of Tearaway, I have zero reason to play it. I understand the digital library is massive for the sony portable, but the modern library leaves the owners LOOKING for reasons to use it. Praise be to Nintendo for consistently releasing a new RPG or platformer for me to embrace. The Etrian Odyssey games alone have kept me occupied for hundreds of hours. Even more upsetting, the vita had massive american potential in games like Gods Eater Burst and Valkyria chronicles 3, and they felt squandered away.

Praise be to Pokemon, the herald of the portables.
The proof that gaming can be universal. The only valid reason I can think to have disdain for this franchise is if the Macy's parade Pikachu cartoonishly deflated and somehow destroyed Manhatten. It arguably saved Nintendo's original gameboy, and proved that we had far more than just Mario and Link to enjoy.

Praise with me brothers and sisters. May the New 3DS carry on this legacy.

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