I've been frequenting this fine website for a while now, and have recently decided to take the plunge and create content on the community blogs. However this has came with the realisation that I am only worth the amount of traffic that my posts get. I have noticed a clear trend: the best way to get people to confirm my societal value on this videogame related website is to create a blog about fetishes. With recent posts getting more and more out of hand and with me being nothing if not a my own man I have also decided to do one.
Writing as a man with the sexual drive of Barry White now that he's been dead for 11 years it took some thinking, but I'm sure you'll all agree that this list is nothing if not erotic and for this reason I have provided suitable imagery to ensure no one ends up overly excited.
7. Breaking the rules.
I have it on good authority that rule breaking is in itself a very sexy activity. It wouldn't be right for a man of my standing to stray far from the straight and narrow, but you will notice that this list is not a round number.
6. A lack of clothing on a woman.
We can probably all agree that when we see an attractive lady not wearing very much clothing we may get some very unproper ideas. Normally it would be necessary to supress these imediately by thinking of sensible things, like rugby, cricket or airfix models, but on rare occations it may be appropriate to let the mind wander slightly.
5. Leather.
I am informed that black is preferable but sadly I do not own any, however these brown leather casual boots by Catterpillar, although showing some signs of wear and tear on the toe cap, have held out remarkably well in the 3 or 4 years that I have owned them. Not only this but they are extremely comfortable and were no doubt a wise purchase.
4. Doing it with the light on.
I once heard a popular music song with this very lyric on BBC radio 1. I don't know what "it" is, but the young lady's tone of voice was very suggestive and I assume that "it" was sexy.
3. Zubat.
This inclusion seems remarkably obvious and warrants no further explanation.
2. Bums.
Here we approach a subject matter which is unambiguously unproper, if not down right smutty. The principal appeal here seems to lie in the curvature of the buttocks, but as Ms. Kardashian has recently shown us when such curves are particularly pronounced they can be employed practically, either as a small hostess trolley, or perhaps more permanently as shelf space.
1. Boobs.
Ahem. Yes, well. Quite.