Time once again for the unofficial Destructoid Puppy Bowl Preview.� Last year�s pick of Aurora was looking good until she threw a crushing pick-6 near the end of the game.
Who will take the MVP title this year?� Let�s look at the competition
Name: Abdiel Breed(s): Labrador Retriever/Terrier Mix Fun Fact: Feels Labs get a bad rap about shedding Isay Take: As much as Macklemore gets a bad rap about rap?? HA, TOPICAL!� The size of a lab with the motor of a terrier could be the combination that pushes Abdiel to the top
Name: Alvin Breed(s): Poodle Fun Fact: Favorite color is Raspberry. Isay Take: There�s only one man who would dare give me the raspberry!� Alvin needs to outthink his opponents to take the title
Name: Artemis Breed(s): Labrador Retriever/Sato Mix Fun Fact: Goes nuts for cat videos Isay Take: Artemis might be distracted knowing that the Hallmark Channel is airing the Kitten Bowl at the same time.�She needs to keep her focus on the game in order to stand a chance.
Name: August Breed(s): Boxer Fun Fact: Wants to follow the band moe. across the country Isay Take: What�s the matter, Guster not touring this year?
Name: Aurora Breed(s): Dalmatian Fun Fact: Has a crush on a fireman Isay Take: Aurora needs to use her head and not her heart to SPOT the opportunities to score
Name: Bach Breed(s): Bernese Mountain Dog/Poodle Mix Fun Fact: Thinks Mozart is overrated Isay Take: Bach has the combination of brains and brawn that can help him HANDEL the competition
Name: Bayla Breed(s): Boxer/Hound Mix Fun Fact: Prefers Carrie Underwood's version of the Sunday Night Football theme Isay Take: Bayla�s got the competition on their knees.� Bayla can�t be begging (darlin� please) if she wants to be the Cream of the competition
Name: Benton Breed(s): Labrador Retriever Fun Fact: Plans to one day have a really important job serving as a guide dog Isay Take: Benton needs to use that focus to find the end zone a few times.� This is the perfect stage to show those skills.
Name: Brody Breed(s): American Eskimo Fun Fact: One day wants to own his own dog house Isay Take: A dog owning their own house???�Now I�ve heard everything.� He may know 50 different words for snow, but the one word he needs to know for the Puppy Bowl is touchdown.
Name: Coco Breed(s): Poodle Mix Fun Fact: Hope LA gets an NFL team soon Isay Take: You can bring a team to LA, but you can�t make them go to the games.� Coco needs that gogo to stand out from the field.
Name: Cody Breed(s): Spaniel Fun Fact: Thinks fatherhood has mellowed Kanye Isay Take: As long as he keeps moving North-South and less East-West, Cody should be right there in the mix
Name: Danny Breed(s): Papillon Mix Fun Fact: Aspires to have hair like One Direction's "Harry Styles" Isay Take: Like with Cody, the one direction Danny needs to be moving is toward the endzone, he should be fine.
Name: Dee Dee Breed(s): Terrier Mix Fun Fact: Believes the best movie kiss was Kate and Leonardo in "Titanic" Isay Take: I have never seen Titanic from beginning to end.� I�m quite proud of that.� Dee Dee needs to become Tee Dee.
Name: Delachaise Breed(s): Pit Bull Mix Fun Fact: Loves New Orleans Jazz Isay Take: Delachaise (Della) needs to use those improvisational skills to bebop her way across the field.�Hopefully, no scat as well.
Name: Ginger Breed(s): Old English Sheepdog Mix Fun Fact: Counting sheep automatically puts her to sleep Isay Take: Talk about being in the wrong profession.� If she can�t keep up with the more active pups, look for Ginger to throw in the towel early.
Name: Hudson Breed(s): Great Pyrenees Fun Fact: Thinks Seabiscuit is a fish-flavored dog treat Isay Take: Needs to avoid the neigh sayers and horse around with his competition
Name: Jillian Breed(s): Shih Tzu/Pekingese Mix Fun Fact: Wants to go to this year's Kentucky Derby Isay Take: Jilly?
Name: Laney Breed(s): Brittany Spaniel Mix Fun Fact: Wants to catch a ride on one of those NASA Mars rovers Isay Take: I know dogs like to chase cars, but this is ridiculous!!� Laney just needs to make sure the competition is chasing her.
Name: Lily Breed(s): Bassett Hound Fun Fact: Tries not to step on her own ears Isay Take: Her low center of gravity should help take on the big hits, but Lily needs to stay on her feet if she wants to blossom on the field.
Name: Lucy Breed(s): Poodle Mix Fun Fact: Wants her paws on the Hollywood Walk of Fame Isay Take: Look for Lucy to find the nearest camera and stay there until the end of the game.� She looks to more focused on future endorsement deals than any prize.
Name: Mandy Breed(s): Dachsund/Hound Mix Fun Fact: Thinks long legs are overrated Isay Take: Needs to channel all that energy and keep badgering her opponents throwing them off their game.� Should be able to break a few tackles that can hopefully lead to some big plays.
Name: Max Breed(s): Shih Tzu Fun Fact: Wants One Direction and The Wanted to just get along Isay Take: /Googles �One Direction and The Wanted Feud� �������������� //Throws computer out the window
Name: Mila Breed(s): Pit Bull Fun Fact: Adores the theatre, but always arrives late Isay Take: While a slow start won�t necessarily keep Mila out of contention, if she finishes strong it may be what the judges remember most about the game.
Name: Opie Breed(s): Schnauzer/Terrier Mix Fun Fact: Favorite cartoon is Marmaduke Isay Take: Opie needs keep up the RUSH in order to make a SPLASH with the judges.
Name: Parker Breed(s): Labrador Retriever/Husky Mix Fun Fact: Has an autograph from Uga, the University of Georgia mascot Isay Take: Parker should be one of the biggest pups out there.� If he can avoid getting caught up with the small breeds, he could easily overpower everyone.*
Name: Pong Breed(s): Havenese Mix Fun Fact: Has been to Disney World 12 times Isay Take: Judas Priest, 12 times?!?!�Pong may get bored out there on the field at this rate
Name: Poppy Breed(s): Shih Tzu/Brussells Griffon Mix Fun Fact: Favorite director is Paul Feig Isay Take: Poppy can�t be a Bridesmaid and wait for the action to come to her.� Needs to bring the Heat to stand a chance with the bigger pups.
Name: Prada Breed(s): Boxer Fun Fact: Would never be caught dead in Burberry Isay Take: Who would put clothes on a dog?
Name: Roxy Breed(s): Shih Tzu/Chihuahua Mix Fun Fact: Compares herself to another Georgia girl, Julia Roberts Isay Take: Is that the toothy girl from Mystic Pizza?
Name: Shyla Breed(s): Great Pyrenees Fun Fact: Favorite actress is Melissa McCarthy Isay Take: Looks like Shyla and Poppy may find a connection over film.� Will they play nice with everyone else is a bigger question.
Name: Sparky Breed(s): Yorkshire Terrier Fun Fact: Hopes to spend his summers playing volleyball on Manhattan Beach Isay Take: A dog playing volleyball??? Now I�ve heard everything!
Name: Suri Breed(s): Siberian Husky Fun Fact: Thinks they should cut Miley Cyrus some slack Isay Take: Suri�s size should help her Cruise past the competition.
Side note 1: Miley Cyrus�bless her heart.
Side note 2: GROSS
Name: Taser Breed(s): Italian Greyhound Sex: Male Age: 12 weeks Fun Fact: Wants to drink from a fountain in Rome Isay Take: Likely to shock the other dogs by his speed, Taser could run circles around the field before anyone is able to react.
Name: Tyga Breed(s): Pit Bull Fun Fact: Knows what the Fox says Isay Take: I saw that video�meh.� Now Bad Lip Reading, you�re onto something there
Name: Ullie Breed(s): Dachsund/Chihuahua Mix Fun Fact: Hates all those Rocky sports clich�s about Philadelphia Isay Take: Ullie�s got to eat lightning and crap thunder if she wants to win.� Also she�ll want whiz on her cheesesteak with onions and hot peppers (AND I WANT LUNCH)!� She�s got a star behind her to cheer her to victory.� Just who is it? �
You guessed it, Frank Stallone
Name: Van Helsing Breed(s): Bassett Hound Fun Fact: Learned to waterski from a squirrel Isay Take: A dog that can waterski??? Now I�ve heard everything.� Like with Lily, Van Helsing needs to stay on his feet and strike through the heart of the defense.
Name: Wyatt Breed(s): Terrier Mix Fun Fact: Dreams of walking the Appalachian Trail Isay Take: The AT is roughly 2,200 miles.�The Puppy Bowl certainly isn�t always a sprint, so Wyatt�s endurance training could pay off if he can stay in the entire game �
FINAL THOUGHTS Suri and Parker should tower over the competition, but even they might have enough to overcome Taser�s speed.� If those 3 get distracted, look for smaller dogs like Mandy or Della to swoop in and steal the title.
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About Isay Isayone of us since 2:08 PM on 02.13.2009
Isay Isay is a 40 year old gamer living in Columbus, OH. I cut my teeth on the early Sierra/Lucasarts adventure games and honed my skills on the Genesis. I'm a proud poppa of 2. You might already be aware of my style of PUN-ditry
What's in a name? So where does Isay Isay come from? Well to amuse myself, I name all my characters I say so whenever someone talks to them they sound like Foghorn Leghorn or what I thought English people sounded like when I was little. Needless to say, I'm easily amused.