Violence: Mind Games and Escapism

Resident Evil 2 - A Game from my Childhood

Current news and some political movements want us to believe physical violent acts like murders or shootings are caused by ideas inspired from video games since they glorify death and gore. Yet, school councils, parents, teachers, and even law enforcement willing accept non-physical violence as a natural growing stage for children. In other words, every human being is allowed to be mentally disturbed to a degree as long as their hateful verbal and emotionally ruining acts do not turn into physical attacks. When these acts do turn physical, then everything else is blamed for causing the person to be violent other than the person's own will.

What people do not realize is that those years of verbal abuse have shaped my personality far more than the video games I played during those same years. Both violent ones and non-violent ones.

I will be turning twenty-four this October; I still have a hard time looking at myself in the mirror without picking out every flaw in my appearance that was pointed out to me nearly 14-16 years ago. I have managed to escape my shy shell a bit, but I still favor quiet nights in over parties with a small group of close friends because I still feel so withdrawn from the world. When it comes to meeting new people, I do not have issues with listening to them or communicating about common interests but I have little to nothing to say about myself since I find myself to be dull and uninteresting. Why? Because of years of being told that the things I liked were "stupid" or I was wrong for liking them in the first place. I think my blog on here is only a handful of sentences because I truly do not know what to say without having sense of fear of being judged.

For those who read my Blossoming into Womanhood, you know that part of the reason I personally am not offended by must sex appeal of female characters is because I liked feeling like an attractive woman. After all, I was told that I was not for over half my life so the ability to be one in a game allowed me to cope a bit. Being a desirable damsel made up for the fact that I was generally overlooked by my male peers in school. The loneliness I felt in school was batted away by the dozens of friends waiting for me at home and came to me the moment I turned on my gaming system. Whimsical stories and vibrant worlds to explore occupied my mind, thus giving me brief moments of solace from the horrible thoughts that plagued my mind.

We are so quick to jump to conclusions and connect media influences to behavior that we ignore the fact there are far deeper, psychological factors that come into play regarding violence. At times, society seems to not even recognize non-physical violence or fails acknowledge it as being as severe as physical violence. Those girls that picked on me growing up never really played games and their behavior was normal in the eyes of society. I was told that they just did not know any better even though they would tear me down to the point of tears. Even the most ignorant of minds should have noticed that something about that was not right.

Yet, my enjoyment of games makes me the bad guy due to a few horrid acts caused by some very mentally disturbed, psychotic individuals. Me choosing to play and liking something like Bioshock, Resident Evil, Call of Duty, or any game with violence in the privacy of my own home is corrupting society. The thousands of bullies that roam the playgrounds and pick on other kids for fun are not. Something about that concept does not sit right with me, especially when those very games I am scolded for liking are what allowed me to escape the emotional torment I endured so no one else was there to save me but myself and my games.

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