Okay for those of you confused I have mentioned before that I run a seperate little blog were I usually make fun of bad fan works. Anyways recently I began a critic of an old gaming webcomic I found and thought it would be interesting to share on Destructoid as well. So this is a repost of that though with some improvement over the original release.
Johnel: You know sometimes reading bad fanfiction can be damaging to ones sanity... if I was in anyway sane. Though that is besides the point for today we are going a different route with webcomics!
Johnel: So I spent my time and found the worst thing I could get that wasn't porn. It's....
.... Unfunny slice of life about girl gamers that does more damage to their genders credibility as gamers than adds to it! Anyways here is the first 8 pages.
Johnel: Now from the first page you can see the major problems this little piece of hell will have throughout.
1. The Art: Despite at least doing some work on her character models... well okay it looks like what I see when reading self insert fics but at least I can vaguely descripe it as human. The background and props on the other hand look awful. Like look at the first panel and tell me what the hell that rainbow colored thing she is supposed to be holding is I'll wait.
Did you guess? Well good for you because to me it just looks like the artist had a brief arguement with MS Paint and that was the result. Then there is that poster that looks like it was ripped from somewhere else and just distracts the reader from the meat of the comic. Not that the meat of the comic is worth anything. Finally really that is how you are going to draw yoru game console, as a black box with a childs scribbles on it.
The worst part is I've read through it and over the years no improvement was in sight.
2. Humor: There is none. Either the writer forgets to tell a joke or any attempts at humor just fall flat in execution. Like this first page I can get what the joke is, it is about how life can be hard and video games helps our character deal with it. The problem is she suffers from a horrid case of forgeting to show and not tell. If we saw a series of comedically over the top issues followed by the life is good bit we might have a working panel but instead you just list off that X sucks and leave it at that.
Well maybe we'll get some character or logic with page two.
Johnel: Okay so page two for some reason feels like it should have came before page one, also it feels like there is some panels missing before the first one, plust context, plus and actual background instead of blobs of color. Joke wise it also fails on just not having a good execution again. I mean someone acting like an asshole because your boss says to say happy holidays to a customer, which is my guess at what the context is, can be funny but you need to build up the punch line and honestly the one telling main character chick go to hell should probably be a bit more animated in their stance for the mildly annoyed look doesn't sell it.
Johnel: The third page is once again just poor joke execution so I don't feel much need to go into much detail. Though once again the artists just draws mildly annoyed instead of about to pass out tired. I mean I think the hair is supposed to be messed up but the line alterations and general tendancy for off model character makes it hard to tell. So this could really use details on the character and more panels to sell the concept.
Johnel: The fourth page isn't really a comic just a Halloween pic. Also who is the phantom chick I don't remember her being introduced... unless go to hell lady is meant ot be a recuring character. Also fantastic job pushing the plight of the girl gamer forward with cleavage, keep up the good fight. Hell I think the artist even increased her self insert character's bust size for this pic.
Johnel: No...just...no. Bad comic you don't introduce characters like this! Also Kirei and Suiren really? Fucking really? Those are some of the most Mary-Sue sounding names I've ever heard did you tink you could get away with that? Yet the most aggravating thing of all is.....
Why does she have a Koromon on her head!?
Johnel: Oh great the other major issue with this comic. Pages that instead of having a joke that falls flat just have nothing of interest at all. I mean she has dots and thinks fuck. Where is the comedy in that. Hell what does she even mean by fuck? Is she mad, depressed, missing her hat, or is she coming off a fucking yaoi dream and stained the sheets. There is no context, there is nothing!
Johnel: Well it isn't like she had anything insightful to say before so I'm fine with this. Also speech bubbles use them. Now there is an authors note thing that says she did loose her voice but that just makes the comic feel like in jokes between her and her stupid friends that they thought the rest of us would get.